• B
  • ENG, GB
  • 10 days ago

12 Week Rule

After encouragement from the people I love & the hope this could help someone else. Here is something I didn’t intend to share.. Breaking the 12 week rule. The expectation in society is to remain silent in early pregnancy to ‘keep it to yourself incase something goes wrong’ Up to one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage- so common yet no one talks about it, most likely because it happened within the first 12 weeks before you’re ‘allowed’ to tell anyone. Personally I now understand the emotional heartache of women that have experienced miscarriage. In the last 6 months I have felt sadness, anger, hope, helplessness and at times overwhelming shame. There are days that I hate my body for betraying me. Now a serial betrayal, where I have not only lost more than one pregnancy but also the best chances of being able to conceive again. Anyone else that has experienced an ectopic pregnancy understands that emergency surgery is often involved and not only do you leave the hospital no longer pregnant, but you also have to recover from the loss of parts of yourself which then affects your ability to conceive. After being thoughtful about whether or not this was something I wanted to share; I’m done with feeling shame. I know that there should be no feeling of shame related to pregnancy loss although the ‘12 week rule’ of women being encouraged not to talk about it, as if somehow it matters less until the 12th week, hasn’t helped me feel that way. Miscarriage before 12 weeks doesn’t make it any less of a ‘real’ pregnancy. You have still lost the future you planned with that baby and there are no words to describe that. And honestly whether you have kept it to yourself or not- it’s not going to lessen your grief. I understand that some may want to keep their journey private and that comes down to personal choice. However, regardless of the stage of pregnancy, if you want to tell people then do it and let them support you. Fuck the 12 week rule. For any woman who this has happened to, is happening to, or may happen to in the future. You are not alone ❤️
  • L
  • 2 hours ago

I definitely dont believe in the 12 week rule, but absolutely believe is sharing the news when you're ready. And with who you're ready to share.

  • C
  • WLS, GB
  • 2 days ago

I completely agree, I needed to talk to my family and friends after my miscarriage but as I hadn’t told anybody before the miscarriage it was like torture telling them the bad news. I wish I told some people after I had a positive test ❤️❤️

  • K
  • ENG, GB
  • 4 days ago

I suffered with a miscarriage last week at 8 weeks, we had told quite a few people. I don’t regret it but me and my partner have agreed that next time we will wait till 12 weeks as it’s too heartbreaking dealing with the miscarriage aswell as explaining what’s happened to people x

  • S
  • IL, US
  • 4 days ago

My first pregnancy, I lost very early on >6weeks. I had gotten a posotive pregnancy test a week before miscarrying. I hadn't even told the guy I was with until the day before I miscarried. So on my second pregnancy I broke all the rules (posted tge day after getting my positive pregnancy test, bought clothes and stuff "to early",named them "to early", etc.) my SIL swore I was gonna cause a miscarriage by doing so, but I wanted to be able to celebrate my little rainbow. I posted at 5 weeks and kept posting because I wanted to celebrate the life growing inside of me. She is now almost 3 months and has always been proving everyone wrong ❤🌈

  • G
  • ENG, GB
  • 4 days ago

Cause a miscarriage?🤦‍♀️ what a silly thing to say

  • K
  • TN, US
  • 5 days ago

My SO and I plan to keep the news to ourselves for a couple of weeks so we can take it all in. But I will be telling a friend that has been with me through this TTC journey right away. I don't believe in the 12 week rule because if something happens you then suffer in silence.

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