Finally weaning but I’m breaking inside. What are your stories?

Every mother goes through this. We all face guilt. Did we do enough? Did we yell too much? Did we plop them in front of the tv when we should have been playing with them? Bottom line... if you are having these thoughts you are a GREAT MOTHER!! Being a mom is tough. Some have to work and feel guilty for working. Some stay at home and feel guilty for needing some “adult time”. But, we are ALL doing the best we can everyday. None of us are perfect, in spite of what it may look like on social media. 15 years from now, when they are teenagers they won’t remember all the little Things we are worrying about now. They will know they had a mom who loved them. That I know. Stop worrying mom. You got this and you are doing a GREAT job!! Sorry I don’t have advice on breastfeeding, I never did it. But, as a mom of 4- the oldest 21 and the youngest 14 months I can tell you don’t sweat the small stuff.

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Thank you. Much needed. 🙏

Stay strong mama! I have some of that same “mom guilt” on stuff. As for weaning my son, I didn’t have a choice, i had to stop at a year because I got shingles around my bra line. As for my twin girls, I stopped at 10.5 months with them because they were just biting too much! With the girls I did have to pump a little bit after until my supply dwindled to the point it was no longer a problem. I give mad props for going for over a year. As for the sleep stuff, as hard as it is sometimes you just have to let them cry it out. It SUCKS! We read stories before bed, sing some songs and snuggle. I say again stay strong 💪! You’ve got this mama!

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Girl, you had twins and you’re giving me props!?! Lol you breastfed like a champ! That must’ve been hard. But yes he’s getting better actually, I’m really happy about it because he even seems to have better moods and be closer to dad

I also stopped at a year and a half, he bit me for the last time. He took it a lot easier than I did. We stopped nursing 2 months ago and i still miss it. I loved it but he needed to learn how to fall asleep by himself and to self soothe, and i needed to learn how to be my own person again and have my body back. Man it was hard and the mom guilt was real! But we did it. It gets better :) you've got this!

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I’m with you on all that too. I’m also simultaneously relieved because I don’t have to worry about leaking, well in a few more days haha.

I weaned my oldest at 25 months when my milk dried up in second trimester with my second. She more weaned herself really. I’m still nursing my 15 month old. I have heard that some women get PPD symptoms when they wean so all your emotions could be your hormones going haywire.

I just weaned my 2 1/2 year old, it was hard to take the plunge but I was getting really fed up of being a human dummy. I put bitter nail varnish on my nipples and it worked so well and was the most gentle way. He used to get soooo upset when I refused him a feed but he has accepted really well that my boobs now take yukky. And the few times he asked I remind him they are yukky, offer them to him and he says no I don't like it. I am there with you with the engorgement, well over a week of pain and little sleep because of it. It is only just settling now but both breast feel really tender. Cabbage leaves did help, put it in the fridge and put a couple on each breasts in your bra for about 30 mins. Then swap as often as you want. Also bear in mind hormones are shifting when you stop BF so you may feel extra emotional 😉

*taste yukky

I’m in the process of weaning my 23 month old. I’ve considered letting him self wean, but I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant and I know that tandem nursing isn’t something I want to do. I’ve been taking one session away every couple of weeks or so. My supply has slowly dropped over the last couple of months. So I’m not uncomfortable and he’s not feeling deprived and has been adjusting to nursing less. We’re down to twice per day at this point. On the other hand, I’m feeling extremely sad that my baby is growing so fast, and I start to cry every time I remember that his very last nursing session is coming. Everything I’ve read tells me it’s normal to be sad or depressed during the weaning process. It really is hard, even if you’re ready to wean. I understand how you’re feeling. You’ve done a wonderful thing by breastfeeding your little ones as long as you did. Most babies in our society don’t even make it to six months, let alone a year or more.

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Hi! So my son is currently 8 months and I have no plan to stop breastfeeding anytime soon, but I’m interested in how you are weaning, taking one “nursing session” or whatever you want to call it away every few weeks? That seems like an easier way than stopping cold turkey. If you ever get a chance I would love to know more about your process.

I started setting some boundaries, like no nursing out of the house or if it had been less than three hours. Somewhere along the way, I ended up nursing him 4-5 times a day. When he woke up, at nap time, waking up from his nap, bedtime, and maybe once at night if he woke up crying in the middle of the night. Then I took away night sessions by having my husband go to him when he woke up at night. He gives him water, hugs him and kisses him, and then lays him back down and tells him to go to sleep. He only protested a couple of times and now he rarely wakes up at night anymore. Then I took away the after nap session, then the morning and nap time session were combined to one session at any time before lunch. So now I nurse him once before lunch and I nurse him at bedtime. Bedtime will be the last to go. I know that cold turkey is really hard on mom and baby. It can also cause clogs and mastitis, which is no fun. Gradual weaning has worked well for me.

Oh man, I'm planning on weaning in 7 weeks when my little girl turns 1, I'm absolutely dreading it, have no idea how im going to go about it. The thought of it already and reading your story makes me cry ☹🥺 both because I don't want to put her through it and also because I will miss the closeness. The fact you even feel like this shows how much you care and how much you love your babies, they can feel how much you want the best for them, we are only human, we have regrets, but also do some amazing things we don't give ourselves even half the credit we deserve, mums really are superheroes 🦸🏻‍♀️

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Thank you I appreciate it. And it will be hard, I was also set on a year but couldn’t and was planning for him to self wean but I was hungry all the time and got sick that I couldn’t risk it more. If you don’t want to stop yet you don’t have to, who cares what society thinks. But if it’s the best decision for you then momma it’ll be hard but there are other ways to connect with them! You can do it.

Being a mum is difficult. More women need to admit this. They are blessings, of course. But just because you complain, it doesn't mean you are a bad mum. In fact, I think its because you care and your every waking moment is invested in them. Since having my daughter I think I could join the SAS, my body and mind can withstand serious sleep deprivation. Xxx

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What is SAS?? And yes I agree with you

😭😭😭😭 OMG I feel you Mama! We aren't anywhere near weaning, I'm going to let him wean when he's ready. I don't think we are close yet. However, I totally feel you on the mom guilt, and feeling like I'm not enjoying him enough. Being a mom is hard, and we do the best we can everyday. You're doing a great job mama!!!

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Thank you!

I read this thread because a little while ago I was laying in bed nursing my son to sleep (almost 17m) and wondering how our breastfeeding journey will end. I’m thinking about trying for number two soon and it’s breaks my heart to 1. Not breastfeed him anymore 2. Not be able to give him my undivided attention. I try n remind myself, that’s life and so many other moms do it but it doesn’t make it easier. I feel for you right now. And after reading the thread see that many other moms have or are struggling with it too. I think the number one thing I’m learning through my journey in motherhood and is that our guilt , while very natural, is probably worse for both our emotional health and our babies. We have to remember we are doing the best we can. The fact that you are reaching out for help shows how much you care and what a wonderful mother you are. Your babes (forever your babies) are very lucky. I would say to try and not worry so much about the past and take this day by day.

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I had the same thoughts as you when I had my daughter. Exactly the same. And you know, she took it like a champ. We made sure to give her extra attention while he was a newborn for her not to feel ignored.

I weaned my daughter shortly before she turned two and have zero regrets. Our relationship got so much better I felt really put off when she wanted to nurse as she got older and I really wanted to stop but she wasn't ready. I did a really gradual wean over the course of about three months going from morning and night to just morning then just every other morning. And then one morning she asked to nurse and I said no baby we aren't going to do that anymore and she actually didn't fuss much. She asked a few other mornings after that but she eventually let it go thankfully. Now she's obsessed with my moles so I'm still her human comfort blanket but at least I don't have to whip out my boob lol.

My little one just turned nine months old and as much as I love breast-feeding her and have really enjoyed the journey, I am starting to feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. She is still nursing every three hours and sometimes pulling on me wanting milk after just two hours. I am just trying to be consistent with only giving her milk every three hours and even that is hard! I’m not ready to stop, and I do want to continue after she turns 1 with some feedings, but I really don’t think I can do every three hours for much longer. I am feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed by the idea of trying to reduce the number of feeds per day...

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Aww i felt this before too. Try giving her more food and snacks through the day. I found my daughter to be easier to wean than my son and I’ve heard that girls are usually like that. There is hope! This will pass so fast.

Thanks. I know this is just a season. I try to savor every moment that I do enjoy breastfeeding her. I know this is a special time, but it’s definitely not easy

I understand your pain 100%. My daughter and son are 16 months apart. I weaned her off 2 months before I gave birth to him . He’s not here and will be turning 3 this July . I JUST WEANED HIM OFF ALMOST A MONTH AGO!! I put that in caps to emphasize how much older he is and how difficult it was for me 😭. He’s been eating solids for a while now and was just comfort nursing . I still get emotional about it but I’m glad we got over the hill . Hang in there mama , stay strong and know that this will pass soon ❤️ Sending you love and many Blessings❤️

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Thank you ☺️

I’m already trying to get my nearly 7 month old weaned. She isn’t taking to formula or sippy cups very much but I really just need to reclaim a little bit of me. I did sleep train her this month and it’s been a blessing finally actually getting some time to myself during the way. My original plan was only 6 weeks but she refused a bottle and pacifier after one month. It’s been... interesting, but I’ve only had 3 baby free hours since she was born, all before my 6 week check up, and I need a little recharge. Much love to you mommas who can give a breast exclusively for so long. I don’t know how you all do it.

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I am feeling all of this right now! You are not alone. I just often want to feel a little bit of personal space and like my body actually belongs to me! And yet at the same time, I still enjoy some of those breast-feeding moments, but I need some space! Hang in there and ask for help. Right now I’m trying to stretch out feedings to get some time back...

My story is very much similar my son is 18months old and weaned just last week we also trying since long but every time he cries 2 3 hours and thn I couldn’t resist myself n I gave my boobs to Calm him down so we tried everything nothing worked but we realized he sleeps fast in a swing whenever we go to park so we ordered cheapest outdoor swing from amazon😅 and finally worked it out without crying much .. I fed him whatever he likes to eat for 2 days n thn when he was sleepy I started swinging with him n showing videos same time n he went to fall asleep very quickly he used to wake up very frequently while breastfeeding but we follow same thing food n swing .. n finally relieved n weaned very easily .. n as doc said at this age food is also important part of their development n mine wasn’t eating good whenever he’s hungry he was just snatching my clothes for feed I had to be very careful in public places or in front of friends as he could do self feeding if I wearing loose clothes 😆

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So don’t worry in fact you did a great job it’s not easy to feed them up to 18months many moms choose not to breastfeeding or only upto 6 months may be because of all discomfort but you overcome it !! Great job mumma I would say 👍

I think you just had kids back to back, that is really hard emotionally and physically. You are doing a great job..Momma.

We did baby led weaning and he all of a sudden weaned himself at 2 you’re not a sucker you got this mama, we just started giving him pumped milk in a cup or juice and limited his boob job o nap time and bed time and he eventually didn’t need it anymore.

I weened my daughter when she was almost 3, it was the point when she was nursing and stopped and looked up at me saying, “mom, I like your boobs. Do you like your boobs?” 🤣 Me: “yes I do. And now that you are such a big girl we are going to start doing milk snuggles only before rest time/bedtime” and eventually it turned into just regular snuggles to get her to sleep. It just happened naturally. Now I have my son and I am back to nursing again. I am one of those moms that really enjoys/is relaxed when I’m nursing my babies. Weening is tough and there is so much judgement out there but you have to go with what works for you. And just remind them constantly how much you love them. Maybe have “special dates” so they get individual attention. We have a science bucket where we make fun things and learn fun stuff ... like that you can pop a balloon by squeezing an orange skin on it. So easy and simple but my daughter loves it! Just give them quality time & good memories & you’ll be great!

Maybe you should do baby-led weaning instead? Especially since it doesn’t feel right to you ❤️ We did this and my son naturally stopped shortly after the 1.5 mark. Good luck mama

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Good advice ❤️ I’m doing baby led weaning right now... my son is a year and we are dwindling down.. it’s so bittersweet. But I love that it has happened naturally.

That’s what I was trying but he only seemed to get more attached. My health was actually taking a toll as I’m already really skinny and it was hard to keep up with my calorie intake.

I weaned my son by 21 months. I was pregnant with number 2 and it just hurt to nurse. I started just cutting out one feeding at a time. The last feeding to go was the first one in the morning. Then one morning he refused to nurse and just wanted to start playing. The next morning he nursed for a minute and then he was done. That was it. He asked about a week later. I just told him that mommy didn’t make “yummy stuff” anymore. No tantrums. No engorgement. I think it was harder on me. It did take a couple of weeks, it wasn’t a quick process, but it was smooth.

Phew feel like I was reading my own words with this post. Momming is so so hard and amazing and hard ♥️ My son self weaned around 18 months, my daughter was 23 months and I was pregnant with my angel baby and was freaking out about tandem nursing so was sort of happy she self weaned before I had to figure that out. Later we got pregnant again and I have a happy little 15 month old who is nursing as well. I have planned to do baby lead weaning again however I have recent been diagnosed with breast cancer and will need to stop by May. I keep hoping he will start to wean but it doesn’t seem like it. I’m going to start taking away a session at a time but my heart is absolutely devastated. I’m so sorry for how you are feeling. Please know you’re not alone and you are doing WONDERFUL. You sound like a beautiful soul and a loving caring aware mommy. Stay positive your babies will feel it 💕💕💕💕

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Your story gave me chills. You are such a brave and loving mom and human being. Thank you for your kind words. You will be in my prayers. ♥️

I haven't read any of the comments but are you able to reevaluate the weaning? Take a slower approach- especially if your breast are engorged. Cutting off nursing cold turkey can lead to clogged ducts and mastitis. But what about cutting out one nursing session at a time so it's a smoother transition for you and your LO? And also this will help your body slowly adjust and get the message to not make as much milk

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He was a tough one so cutting one off during the night would make him cry worse. Thank you though, my breasts are fine now 🙂

Omg finally someone who felt as sad and guilty as I did ty everyone thought I was crazy my daughter was 5 months her choice just one day decided I’m done nope don’t want the boob my son her was 1 1/2 it was so hard he is also the child who is still in our bed he’s four NIDO was the only milk he would drink it’s a formula for 1+ the twins I breast feed till they were 1 I weaned them and sleep drained them in the crib the same week omg it was hard so I had a lil bit of wine a glass or two at night to help honestly if I didn’t I’d give in I’d breastfeed or go picking them up or just cry so I needed to kno my boobs were no gd lol n a chill pill one glass worked for me I don’t drink lol light weight hahahaha

My son is 16 months and I want to wean him off breastfeeding around two so I now slowly removing one feeding every 2-3 months and it works when I distract him and he forgets about nursing. But it is easier for me done because I nurse him after waking up. The only nursing to bed is for the night. That probably will be hardest to remove. Engorged breasts during weaning is painful especially if you removed more than one feeding at the same time. Wish you lots of patience and love!

Currently trying to wean my 18 month old & it is coming along well now . She only eats about 2 times a day (waking up & going to sleep) sometimes she’ll eat during the day but not often. My boobs have stopped filling up during the day now so that helps.

I will be with you soon. Weaned my daughter at 14 months because o was pregnant with my son and couldnt keep food down. He will be 1 in April and I am already feeling the blues about being close to weaning with him. You did good, momma.

Currently weaning my son due to medication I’m starting 😢 he’s only 6 months. It breaks my heart. I miss breastfeeding. It makes me feel so connected to him.

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I still feed him once a day. In the early morning. It helps me so much to have that time.

Currently trying to wean my 17 month old & it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Everytime I tell her no she falls out crying & I put my boob back in her mouth lol

It's motherhood. *hugs* You're doing a fine job, momma. Shows like Daniel Tiger are awesome for that age. :) If you ever need an ear that can help you see the bright side, feel free to PM me. :) Best wishes dear momma! Good luck staying well. ❤️

I’m having this issue right now with my 1 year old. I keep feeding her more and more table food BLW style in hopes that she’ll naturally just cut back on breastmilk but she’s just getting CHUBBY😂😩😩 I feel like it will be impossible to wean as she still wakes up like 3 times a night wanting the boob. I wish you luck though just know you’re not in it alone!!

I have no experience of weaning yet so can’t offer any advice but just had to reply to you as I’m so upset reading your post! You’re being far too hard on yourself. You’ve done amazingly well to get as far as you have! Be proud and don’t feel guilty at all! Sending hugs 🤗

Unfortunately you are going cold turkey which is a lot harder ♥️ for us I waited till my daughter was about 20 months and took nursing down to one in the morning and one at night, then after a month of that I did only in the am, then after a month of that I did only every other morning and then one morning I said we just aren't going to do it anymore and she accepted it. She asked a few more times over the next week or so but not nearly as demanding as I expected. She was fully weaned right at two. I didn't have any engorgement issues and I do not miss nursing at all lol. I will say our relationship has actually improved since weaning. Nursing is great when they are infants but the older she got the more demanding she got and the more put upon I felt. I resented the tugging at my shirt and the fact that she would never snuggle without my boob out. Now she regularly cuddles with me and it's so much more fun without having to feel forced to nurse. I got some of my body autonomy back.

My physical strength slowly returned, and I started feeling more like myself. It's hard when they are younger you never want them to get bigger but the older they get the more fun they are. You get to watch them learn and become the people they are going to be and have a much more rewarding relationship. It will get better just enjoy your cuddles as they come and look forward to all the amazing things ahead. And we ALL yell at our kids once in a while let go of the guilt and just work on filling your cup so you don't get to the point that you lash out with them♥️

My 9 month is weaning herself she would rather have real food and is too active to lay there and suck I am working full time and barely able to make 5 oz a day after after pump g every two hours at work. She doesn’t suck very much any longer and I am having a hard tome not being able to breast feed 1 years old was my goal and I love breastfeeding her I am having a hard time letting go.

Let him wean himself. I never thought mine would because we also went through what you’re going through, and it broke my heart terribly! So after a week of trying to wean I just went back to nursing. My little one self weaned at 3 and a half. I’m glad I did it this way!

I had to wean my 19 month old off cold turkey because I literally felt that I lost all my freedom and she had no boundaries lol I was a stay at home mom so she got used to pulling my boob out whenever she wanted (even in public) I was so embarrassed. When she was little it was okay because I used to wear her in the straps thing on my chest & her head would hide it so people couldn’t tell when I was doing it & when I wasn’t. Once she got too big for that she would just pull it out anywhere at anytime didn’t care who was around & I had to stop it. It made me so sad to see her cry & be sad but it had to be done. Don’t let it make you down mama . You e done it for longer than most ! Be proud 💕

My son watches curious George and passes out after his bottle every morning and hes formula fed. Feeding your child is the best way to do anything. Doesn't matter if it's from the boob or from a can. Fed babies are happy babies

Weaned at 16 months when I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. It was a little emotional but I realized our sessions had already broken down to basically breakfast and bedtime feeds. I stopped cold turkey by putting Band Aids on my nips and in a week she wasn’t looking for them anymore. We replaced the night feed with cold water and a bedtime story for bonding instead.

Yes I have heard of people putting band aids on.

I weaned my toddler at 26 months only because her baby sister 3 months old and she wanted to nurse more then the baby so i just told her that she is a big girl and momma milk if for baby sister now and she said okay and went on about her day. Now 3 months later she just likes to sit next to me and tell baby sister to drink her milk.

Sounds like you’re weaning really quickly. It’s worth looking into talking with an LC (lactation consultant) for some advice. Breastfeeding hormones are feel-good hormones and suddenly stopping removing milk without decreasing gradually can cause a HUGE drop in mood and can actually trigger some pretty severe mood issues. I was really lucky to have been warned about this and was mindful to try and let it happen slowly. We only feed for a couple seconds per side before nap and bed (I’m 28 weeks pregnant) so it’s dry nursing at this point (I’m not making any more milk) And I definitely had a really rough time when my supply dropped suddenly and he wasn’t able to get a ton of milk mid-weaning. Please know the feelings you’re having are so so normal. But also that there’s something chemical going on and you want to try your best to avoid mastitis infections and depression.