• Michelle
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5 months ago

Big boys don’t cry, be a good girl 🤦‍♀️

Are there any phrases which your parents used to say to you which you now find yourself using and feel badly about? I caught myself saying “big boys don’t cry” the other say, and immediately felt upset that I’d used such a horrible gender specific cliche. Tell me some others to watch out for!...
  • A
  • Halifax, Canada
  • 24 days ago

My mil uses negative words to describe my daughter... she doesn’t mean it bad but it drives me!! I always correct her but they are deeply ingrained. Example: nosy instead of curious, stubborn instead of determined or persistent, etc.

  • A
  • Halifax, Canada
  • 24 days ago

I think my mil thinks they are funny too. I’m probably over sensitive about it, i can be a pretty defensive person 🙈

  • E
  • Jamaica Plain, United States
  • 24 days ago

Oops I use both nosy and stubborn. I think of it as funny in my head, but they do sound bad from the outside looking in! Time to swap some words out for better ones!

  • A
  • Goodyear, United States
  • a month ago

Hey my name is Allison

  • E
  • Jamaica Plain, United States
  • 24 days ago

Aw your son is so cute

  • C
  • San Antonio, United States
  • a month ago

I was just talking to my husband about this I always tell my son only little girls cry boys don’t cry 😢 because that’s what I would hear my mom tell my brother . And now I’m Trying my best to stop ✋ that because I realize it sounds as if I’m telling him he is a girl because he is crying 😢

  • A
  • Goodyear, United States
  • 2 months ago

Hi

  • A
  • Metairie, United States
  • 3 months ago

“Keep crying & I’ll give you a reason to cry..” I literally said this the other day not even thinking it just came out like word vomit and it’s not like I even spank my child nor would I ever for her expressing herself. It came out and I cringed after I said it I felt absolutely awful and like such a 💩 mom! “Why are you even crying..?” or “That’s enough” are others my mom use to say, I’ve never said those thankfully, but the tone is very like invalidating. My mom never use to say anything to me about my weight or appearance, but she commented on herself a lot and that also made me grow up feeling very self conscious. I feel like her lack of self love contributed to a lot of my own self doubt and depression as a teen/young adult, that’s one of the biggest things I try to focus on. Our bodies change a lot after pregnancy and labor plus the new challenges of motherhood, it’s been hard to focus more on my overall health and how I feel rather than a number on a scale or clothing size.

  • E
  • Jamaica Plain, United States
  • 24 days ago

Good reminder about modeling good talk about ourselves. I forgot that kids pick up on those critical comments we use for ourselves and use them on themselves growing up. I definitely say “Ok that’s enough. No more crying” to my kids sometimes. Is it bad? I’m not sure. I try to validate their feelings often, but sometimes they just go on and on and on. I tell them I’m going to leave the room. Because they just can’t be distracted, affirmed, or consoled. It’s so hard. What DO we do when a toddler is just going on and on with the same howling, even after we’ve tried validating, solving, distracting, comforting? At some point, I can’t take it!

Hey mama! Read more on Peanut