• Michelle
  • ENG, GB
  • a year ago

Big boys don’t cry, be a good girl 🤦‍♀️

Are there any phrases which your parents used to say to you which you now find yourself using and feel badly about? I caught myself saying “big boys don’t cry” the other say, and immediately felt upset that I’d used such a horrible gender specific cliche. Tell me some others to watch out for!...
  • M
  • Pueblo, United States
  • 21 days ago

Boys who aren't allowed to cry grow up to be men who can't comfortably express emotions other than anger 😢 I'm glad to see so many moms recognizing these ingrained things and working to change. I have a daughter and I catch myself telling her that I have to clean or cook because it's a "moms job" which is problematic. I'm also working to get rid of "you're okay/that's enough" as a response to certain crying episodes as I think it's really healthiest to let her have and echoes her emotions (without getting wrapped up in them myself).

  • L
  • 22 days ago

We need to teach our kids to be kind and sympathetic but not so sensitive and easily offended. Reading these comments has me like 🤦🏼‍♀️ We don’t want to raise weak kids, we want strong level headed people.

  • H
  • Escalon, United States
  • 5 months ago

In our family we say cowboys and cowgirls don’t cry.. it’s not necessarily gender specific.. so i don’t see anything wrong with it

  • L
  • Phoenix, United States
  • 5 months ago

I found that I don’t like saying “You’re okay!” or “It’s okay!”, when it clearly wasn’t okay.

  • R
  • Fairborn, United States
  • 5 months ago

I saw this sort of poster the other day with suggestions for other things to say. https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/comments/av3ww1/what_i_try_to_think_about_when_my_boy_is_crying/

  • E
  • Prince George, United States
  • 5 months ago

I like “shake it off” when the kiddo is hurt. Then we’re both shaking whatever body part got hurt and they start laughing (especially when my daughter bit her tongue and we are trying to shake our tongues in the air). It diffuses the situation without invalidating the fact that they did get hurt.

  • M
  • LaSalle, Canada
  • 8 months ago

This topic is so challenging because there are so many sides to it. We want our children to be able to be part of the society in which they live. But we also want to teach reliance as well as mental health. I tell my kids all the time. Often esp in the big stuff you personal feelings don’t change a thing. You get what you get. You need to balance what you feel with how to be strong and function. You have to truck through then disassemble how you feel about it. Your feelings can’t shut you down!

Hey mama! Read more on Peanut