• Michelle
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 7 months ago

Big boys don’t cry, be a good girl 🤦‍♀️

Are there any phrases which your parents used to say to you which you now find yourself using and feel badly about? I caught myself saying “big boys don’t cry” the other say, and immediately felt upset that I’d used such a horrible gender specific cliche. Tell me some others to watch out for!...
  • S
  • Antelope, United States
  • 2 months ago

Ugh 😑 nothing wrong with gender standards so many weak men in this generation. I will encourage my children to express emotions when it’s appropriate “you’re fish died? Son it’s ok you can cry” “you fell and no scratch?” “Toughen up you’re ok son!” Girls are more sensitive but will take similar approach also there’s a way to be a lady in certain situations I’m traditional there’s nothing wrong with social genders we don’t have enough ladies either.

  • S
  • Antelope, United States
  • a month ago

That’s exactly my whole motto that you just explained I don’t know if this makes me progressive without realizing it but my daughter she’s a girly little princess but every time she trips bumps her self I look st her if she’s not crying I don’t say anything I assume all is well if she reacts I rarely ever pick her up depending on severity I usually say you ok?? She usually giggles it off and acts her usual self I know a 4 year old girl that easily bumps herself and no it’s not a hard bump and she runs away crying her heart out...not sure if it’s my parenting style or if my daughter is just naturally tough...but yea ever since she was a crawler little accidents I brushed off and so did she 🤔

  • R
  • Fairborn, United States
  • a month ago

Sure. There may be times when x level of emotion isn't a "reasonable" response to a situation. But I think the point of this thread is that simply telling your children what their response should be doesn't help them figure out and develop healthy emotional responses. We all overreact sometimes. Maybe he fell and isn't hurt, but he was momentarily scared and needs a minute to adjust. Maybe he would "toughen up" simply by being asked if he's ok and realizing he is instead of being told he's not tough enough.

  • M
  • LaSalle, Canada
  • 2 months ago

This topic is so challenging because there are so many sides to it. We want our children to be able to be part of the society in which they live. But we also want to teach reliance as well as mental health. I tell my kids all the time. Often esp in the big stuff you personal feelings don’t change a thing. You get what you get. You need to balance what you feel with how to be strong and function. You have to truck through then disassemble how you feel about it. Your feelings can’t shut you down!

  • A
  • Halifax, Canada
  • 3 months ago

My mil uses negative words to describe my daughter... she doesn’t mean it bad but it drives me!! I always correct her but they are deeply ingrained. Example: nosy instead of curious, stubborn instead of determined or persistent, etc.

  • A
  • Halifax, Canada
  • 3 months ago

I think my mil thinks they are funny too. I’m probably over sensitive about it, i can be a pretty defensive person 🙈

  • E
  • Jamaica Plain, United States
  • 3 months ago

Oops I use both nosy and stubborn. I think of it as funny in my head, but they do sound bad from the outside looking in! Time to swap some words out for better ones!

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  • A
  • Goodyear, United States
  • 4 months ago

Hey my name is Allison

  • E
  • Jamaica Plain, United States
  • 3 months ago

Aw your son is so cute

  • C
  • San Antonio, United States
  • 4 months ago

I was just talking to my husband about this I always tell my son only little girls cry boys don’t cry 😢 because that’s what I would hear my mom tell my brother . And now I’m Trying my best to stop ✋ that because I realize it sounds as if I’m telling him he is a girl because he is crying 😢

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