I didn’t know Mom Guilt was a ‘thing’

You know, you’re not alone...it drives me slightly crazy because my partner doesn’t seem to suffer with this. I don’t know if it’s helpful, but someone said to me feeling guilty means you’re doing something right, it would be worse if we didn’t care! give yourself a break mama, you’re doing good👊

1 reply

I feel you Michelle. My husband is an amazing partner yet I don’t think he feels any of the weight like I do.

Hang in there mama! On tough days, I have found it helpful to think about the example I am setting for my kids. I have two girls and as they get older they ask me more questions about what I do. I work in a field that is still very male heavy and I am often the only women in a room full of men. I want them to feel like they have choices when they are older!

It’s hard mama, just know that you are not alone! I think every Mom goes through this feeling and honestly, i have been carrying it for a few years now. I think hormones play a huge role as well. Opening up some real & honest conversations with your partner, family and friends will really help those feelings subside. Don’t hold on to them! I actually found a behavioral therapist to help me through my postpartum journey, and I’ve been seeing her every other week for the past 4 years now! She’s help strengthen my mind, my relationships and even helped keep my thoughts in check!

You are not alone! I'm a huge believer in doing some personal development ( podcasts, Gratitude lists) it helps keep it all in perspective for me. YOU ARE Awesome. Know that. Books that have helped me are You Are A BadAss, The Universe Has Your Back, and On Fire. They are not specific to motherhood but I found having the tools to mind my mind helps keeps me enjoying each element of my work/mom/relationship time.

My mom guilt stopped when I made life decisions that made adequate time for the things that were most important. I believe you have work/fam/friend/self and you can omly do 2 or 3 at a time properly. I decided to put my friends on the back burner and not say yes to everything. Its really helped. I also found that when my son reached school age (5 in the UK) he was on a normal path, everyone was compulsory in childcare and the comparisons with other moms lives stopped, along with the guilt.

You’re not alone! It’s constantly a balancing act. The guilt eases up but I don’t think it ever goes away. Just know you’re only human and more than likely your partner feels exactly the same! I’ve found that making myself think in the present (i.e not about what’s waiting at home, what chores need to be done etc.) and when you do that it’s easier to accomplish the tasks in front of you.

Oh I struggle with this too, every day. It’s so hard. I feel like I’m missing out.

Writing this to you in my first business trip. That plane ride was so hard and I felt awful leaving baby with sitter. I maximize and dedicate my weekends, evenings and any holidays to family. Know that you are not alone and we are awesome moms!

The best advice I can give you is to focus on performing your best in both areas when you’re there. I would be so embarrassed to discover my husband was a poor performer at his job because he wasn’t doing the work, and I know he’d feel the same about me. If you are performing well at work, and your time spent with your kiddos is good quality time, then I say good for you!! It’s hard to juggle it and find the balance. Give your best to each aspect when you’re there. Guilt is for the birds. Don’t let it live rent-free in your head!

Im going through the same thing and found this post very inspiring. My son is 4month, and Ive been back to work for 2months. There are still days I cry. It doesnt bother my husband as much but I see him as my rock. He keeps the house stable and sain. Looking back its gotten a little better, Ive learned how to manage.

I still feel the same way with all the guilt. I went back to work when my baby turned 3 months old. I still feel a hot mess with plenty of guilt.