How do I do it all?

First of all, you are amazing! Getting your masters!!!!🙌👏👏👏 When things are crazy, the best thing I’ve done is let some things go or readjust my expectations. I am a perfectionist and that is VERY hard for me to do. But you know what?! I’m happier if I do it! Sometimes when the dining room is a mess and it’s 9:00 at night I just turn the light off and pretend I cleaned it. Sometimes if I’m really behind on the laundry, I just wash it and dry it and leave it in piles in the guest room until I can fold it. I used to teach first grade. I truly know the demands you are about to face with your schedule! You said you don’t like asking for help and honey you need to get over that right now 💗 It takes a village. Sooner than later, you are going to have your masters, an easier routine/system, and a cleaner house. This too shall pass, and that’s why it’s okay to let some things go. You will have to find out your own ways to make it work but it’s doable. Because you’re going to ask for help!

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For when school starts. Be real with your husband about the demands on your life right now. Brainstorm ways you can help each other. Love yourself and keep your eyes on the prize. This stress is temporary. When you can’t take it anymore, don’t! You are not your to do list! Do what you need to do to get to the next day. LAUGH! Life is not so serious! 😘😘😘truly wish you the best

Here are my tips: Write down all the cleaning chores you do. Make at least half of them chores you do only once or twice a month instead of every week. The daily chores, give two to your husband and you do one. Your house is going to be messier but you’re going to have extra time to study, play with your baby, or SHOWER If you can, get a close family member or friend to come over every other week. At least. If they will come every week take advantage of it. Use this time to go on a date or have alone time or prioritize your masters. Do all of your school prep stuff at school. Get up an hour earlier if you can and use that hour to either work on your masters or go into work early. At least 1-2 hours after school has to be spent enjoying your baby. Make it your special playtime. Crockpot meals. Search for them on Pinterest and before school starts make 10 ahead. You want to set aside a couple days to do this- 1 day to get groceries and 1 day to prep the meals. Freeze them

gogirl! It’s funny because mothers always find a way to figure their own way of doing things! It’s constant learning of what works. I use a calendar of what needs to be done. It’s help with my organization

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Also I ask my mom to help me with my daughter if my husband can’t! They are your family you should never feel ashamed to ask babe!

Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept that you simply can’t do it all. It’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to let some things wait in favour of self care (let the dishes sit in the dishwasher or live out of the dryer!!). I don’t know how I would do everything without my husband here, and because he IS here we are able to set a higher bar for ourselves than I would if I were alone. That being said, there are some days we don’t get anything done because we are so exhausted. I think this is normal. Does your baby take the bottle? Do you have any family or friends close by to come watch baby for an hour or two? It’s difficult asking for help, but we all need it from time to time. You got this!

I know you said you've asked family for help, but maybe even saying to them "Could you come over 3 hours a week on Xday to watch the baby so I can get a few things done/get out of house?" Giving them a specific day/time and setting long standing plans may make it easier for you to plan some selfcare and not have to keep asking for help repeatedly.

I’ve asked myself this so many times. I do one major chore a day. Example: Monday-clean the bathroom Tuesday-clean Kitchen Ect... I take most of my classes online and do class work on my phone, not easy but it works. For self care I’d stick my cute 4 month old in his bumbo outside the shower so he saw mom and I saw him. I took down our pretty shower curtain and replaced it with a see thru one

Oh my goodness I wish I was there to give you a break😭😭😭I relate to this so much.luckily my mom lives down the road she has saved me from some meltdowns! You need to take care of yourself!❤️ you sound like an amazing mom and if you wanna give your baby and kids at school 100%everyday you need to take care and recharge yourself for them❤️ even if it means grading papers in a bath tub (also 🍷) you can do it!!! I think everybody on here has felt as hopeless as you feel right now I know I have... hugs mama

First of all you’re amazing! I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to ask for help because you don’t want to be let down when it’s not done the way you like. It’s really really really helpful to find a way to accept that no one is going to do it exactly how you want it but you and YOU need a break so accept the help as it is. Be specific with family members and set goals and expectations for your husband. It’s just as much his household as it is your and he should definitely be contributing in a away that creates equity and equality! And also at least once a week ask your family members for help and LEAVE and go do something for yourself (read a book, get your nails done) self care is SO important to mental well-being. But most of all know that you are amazing!

I was feeling the same in the beginning. My son is now 6 1/2 Months he’s always been a super easy baby (mostly) taking a shower if I really needed to (bec my bf is also not home often and I don’t wanna shower at 10pm) I would put him in his bouncy chair and have him in the washroom with me. And play peek-a-boo to keep him entertained. Cleaning I made a list and do a little each day while he’s napping or I put him in his excersaucer. I also need to have everything done a certain way and my way but I learned to not be so upset if the house is a little messy. I take my time and do things when I can. Eventually you get into a routine. Your doing a great job !!! You definitely need time for yourself. Keep that in mind.

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It is ok to feel overwhelmed. It takes time to adjust and to find a rhythm that works for your family. My advice is to be patient with yourself and your husband. I went through something similar. I had 2 babies while we both worked on our PhD, with no family in town. Then I had my younger two, after I graduated. I am actually more efficient now with 4 kids and working full time than when I had two. It takes time to perfect a routine. I read the book Flylady and saved my house and my marriage. I choose to serve and to love my family by doing things without complaining. My youngest is 3 and my oldest is 13. The newborn days are hard. It can get better. I went through a phase after I had my second one where I was so resentful of my husband that I thought about divorcing him. I read the book The Power of a praying wife. It talked about praying for your husband’s wife to have a good attitude, among many other things. Having the right attitude makes all the difference.

Wow that’s a crazy amount to manage! If you can afford it get a housekeeper. If you can’t- lower your standards a little. I wouldn’t be able to do all that plus a full time job! Baby wearing did help me get more done but I’m in Canada and we have 1 year maternity leave so I just had to do the stuff you mentioned without the masters part. Coming back to work I had to lower my standards of the housekeeping & get my husband to do more of it. We try to get something done for 15-20 minutes every evening once baby is in bed before we crash. I meal plan & prep one night a week and take advantage of my lunch breaks at work to meal plan. You can order lots online now for groceries, etc so I do that on my lunch to save time. Good luck and honestly get your husband to step up and take equal part in the home keeping/ pets/ childcare if you are working full time, it’s only fair!

You’ll fall into it all soon. Having one little is the easiest season of motherhood you’ll get for a while, and eventually you’ll back and see how awesome you did. Stop having expectations and thinking society expects something specific of you, let it go. Also remember that although it’s important your little one fits into your life, not the other way around, it is still an adjustment to getting used to being flexible and finding a new way to do things. Again, throw away expectations NOW. Trying to be exactly who/how you are before becoming a mom isn’t fair to anyone, but finding an updated you and a new jam to follow is important here. I’ve been in some pretty intense seasons of solo motherhood with one, two, and three littles, so trust me when I say that you just need to step back and reevaluate how realistic your expectations are for this season of learning to be a new mom.