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My baby won’t be put down!

First time Mum to my 4 week old baby girl. She is exclusively breastfed and will not tolerate a dummy. Her first week at home she slept at night in her moses basket. The past 3 week’s she will only settle at night when lying next to me or feeding on me until she falls into a deep sleep. I have to carry her around during the day in a sling, just to get things done around the house. If I try to put her down, she can appear in a deep sleep, and the minute I put her down, she wakes up instantly. I’ve tried patting her, placing my hand on her belly, stroking her face, all to get her back to sleep, she cries and cries until I pick her up, and then instantly stops crying. During the day I’ll feed her, she will begin to fall asleep, the minute I try to put her down after she drops off me feeding, she’s awake. Unless I carry her over my shoulder, walking around the living room with her, or sometimes in the sling, she will not sleep at all during the day, then she’s becoming irritable because she’s overtired. If anyone has any suggestions to what I can do to get her to sleep on her own day or night, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you all so much. x
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Is there anything you can do to distract or break the current pattern like swing with sensory toys etc , someone commented on another post saying it helped. Worth a try

Try putting your night shirt (or something else that smells like you) wherever you want her to be.

When my baby sleeps at home he only sleeps well either in my arms or sleeping next to me, and he’s eight months. Fortunately I have some help from in laws, otherwise the house would not be tended to. But I find it better if I make adjustments than stress on making my baby sleep in a way that’s easier for me. These days I have a routine that I lie down with him and rest for his morning nap, take him in the carrier for a walk outside for his midday nap, and my in-laws take him in a stroller for his afternoon nap while I work during the week or catch up on laundry or go for a run on the weekend. When he was younger and weather was cold I spent many naps holding him in the rocking chair and either reading, taking a fun online course or watching a bit of Netflix. Hope you find something that works for you.

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Thank you so much for your suggestions and for sharing too. I really appreciate your time. x

Bouncy chair worked for us, you can rock it with one foot and at least have hands free! I think it’s just a stage, mines 11 weeks now and has been better for several weeks. Just keep trying to put her down, wait at least 10 minutes after you think she’s asleep though. Then move as if your handling an unexploded bomb 😃 white noise and swaddling also helps with getting mine down for nap time. She’s gorgeous by the way, I love the little eyebrow raise!

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Thanks so much Danielle, I really appreciate your help. x

I have to put my nearly 4 weeks old the sleep on her front as she doesn’t like to sleep on her back. I know midwifes don’t recommend it but I done it with my first.

Etta does sensory Muslins that are black and white patterned. It’s bizzare how babies get transfixed on them and could be a good distraction for her as well as visually stimulating. Perhaps swaddling her too when she is asleep may make her feel like she is still being held close

My baby had the exact same issues at that age. We took her to GP and she was diagnosed with reflux (explained why she hated being lied flat!). Things started getting better around 8 weeks when she would let me put her down. Maybe check to see if she'll go down with her basket slightly elevated? We used to put books under one end of the stand and this helped a little bit. Hope you're okay, know how hard it is when baby is relying on you 24/7 but promise it gets better x

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I’m so relieved to hear that, thank you so much Deanna. I really appreciate your help, thank you so much. I’ll try to stay hopeful, haha. x

Can you set aside a few hours in the day where you just lay down with her and rest/watch your programs ?? My daughter was the same and those few hours were the best ❤️

Try swaddling with something that smells of you..

Mine was the same. Honestly the only that helped for me was changing my expectations. I just got really used to wearing him in the wrap pretty much all day and safe bedsharing at night. I accepted that it made sense that he wanted to be in contact with me (or my partner) at all times, it’s what he was used to in the womb and he just wanted to feel safe and warm. It wasn’t always easy but now he’s a confident and independent one year old and I have really sweet memories of snuggling him all day.

I had the same, it’s a really common problem. It’s worth reading about the fourth trimester if you haven’t already. I ended up speaking to a couple sleep consultants who have given some advice on safer co-sleeping. It’s really helped me not to feel like I’ve failed because she won’t sleep anywhere else.

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Aw you havent failed! You are supporting your baby in the way that she needs. I'm sure she will feel super secure and safe because you have adapted to her needs. My health visitor and mother in law (a doctor) tell me that bed sharing (or not) is also a cultural thing and we have certain expectations of our babies in the UK and US. Think of how many people across the world share a bed with their baby and have them in a sling all day long. SIDS recommendations are obviously important but almost all parents bed share at some time in babies life and that's because its totally natural. Dont beat yourself up. She will get there in her own time with some gentle encouragement from her supportive mama ❤

My daughter always co slept in the same bed with us which is not recommended, but her n us loved it! Obviously were always extra cautious n careful . She has been breastfed exclusively all the time till she was about 16 months 🙈🙈🙈🙈 during the day she used to sleep in her Moses basket or pram in the garden and loved being rocket ! They go through sleep regression so many times so don’t expect them to settle n stay the same! Upto at least a year is quite tricky n gets better later on !

Honestly let her cry it out early. Only takes a couple days. As long as you know she’s fed and dry . Also there is a vibrating thing you can buy and put under the crib mattress that helps wonders

My son is still a bit like this at 3 months. However he does now go down at nighttime on his own and is starting to for some naps in the day. In those early weeks I also gave in to the fact that he needed me close by and did bed sharing and the sling for all naps. But I also did practice lie downs in his crib and the sleepyhead (sleepyhead is really a winner for him) while he was awake and tried to make those places positive for him by talking and playing there for a while. When he cried just picking him up and try again later. In the beginning I literally couldnt put him down in his bouncy chair or play mat but now he will happily let me shower or eat my dinner! I think it takes them some time to come to it and you can gently encourage them to have more independence. When he is having a spurt he goes right back to needing me all the time and I dont want to deprive him of that incase it makes him insecure! Do what feels right for you and your baby! Good luck 😊 x

I would say this is totally normal. Look at the 4th trimester it really helps. If you imagine your baby has gone from being inside you warm and close to suddenly out in the world and she is just starting to awaken scary place and she just wants to feel safe and secure with you. Make the most of it as it will soon be over and she will be crawling all over the place.

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My son was the same. Hang in there momma, this can be hard to get through, but you will. I just adapted safe co sleeping habits and I used a swaddle. I tried different brands of swaddles until I found one he liked and I would rub it all over me to get my scent on it.

Congratulations on your little one baby doesn’t even know she’s been born yet, she finds comfort in your smell and heartbeat as she’s been inside a lot longer then she’s been out, also is she’s on the boob a lot she may be cluster feeding to help with your supply, it doesn’t last forever, the nights are long but the years are short 💞

She’s absolutely gorgeous 🥰 our baby girl was exactly the same. In the end I just had her nap on me, she got sleep and I got snuggles. If she had napped well during the day, she slept better at night. It’s tough at the time, I remember, but try to enjoy the snuggles, they don’t last forever ❤️❤️

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