J
2 years ago

Am I an over protective mum?

I know a lot of mums are naturally over protective with their babies anyway but my little girl is 10 weeks now and I just won’t go that far from her, the furthest I’ll go it to the toilet whilst she’s down stairs with her dad. However before she was born her dad was so excited to take her out on Sunday walks to the park by himself like his dad used to do with him (which I was all for, nice bonding time). However since she came I just can’t bring myself to let him take her out without me. Her dad is so good with her and there’s no issues there I just can’t bring myself to let her be that far away from me. Is there any other mums out there like this too?
Am I an over protective mum?

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2 years ago

I’m the same ! I don’t think lockdown has helped because we both have got used to constantly being with each other! I trust my husband and family 100% but it’s more the fact I get separation anxiety when I’m not with her or the thought of not being with her. She’s my first too so I don’t want to miss anything. People keep saying after all this is over I can’t wait to have her for the day, this makes me so anxious !

1 reply

2 years ago

Yeah she’s my first too. My dad asked could he take her for a walk in the park one day and I was just like yeah but with me. My family understand but still look at me as if I’m crazy. Xx

2 years ago

I think it’s worth mentioning that you feel this way with your GP/LMO. It sounds like you may be experiencing some post-partum anxiety which is really common but not discussed as much as post-partum depression. I definitely suffered with it but already had an anxiety disorder prior to falling pregnant so had some coping tools to manage it. Maybe try setting yourself a little goal each week. If right now you can only manage to be on a different floor in the house, next week aim to stay inside while your partner takes the baby in the garden or vice versa. The following week aim for a walk to the end of the street and back alone or something. Each week try and push yourself a little further until you feel up to leaving for an hour or so. It will be hard (trust me I know!) but one day you will need that time to yourself so much to recharge your batteries. You have a huge community here to support you too. You can do this mama!!!!

1 reply

2 years ago

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely try setting myself some goals xx

2 years ago

Hi Jaime-Leigh, I see that other mums replied but just wanted to say - you’re perfectly normal, it’s so typical for the primary carer (the mom) to have heightened senses and worry for her baby. I remember criticizing my husband a lot with our first baby because I was always afraid that something horrible could happen to her if he didn’t pay enough attention... (I also had a very traumatic delivery which worsened my anxiety). With time and observing my husband taking care of her built my trust in him. Remember that you can’t control everything and that eventually the only way to not burden yourself with anxiety is to learn to let go a bit (it sounds crazy now but trust me it’s true). Babies are very resilient and husbands need to find their legs as carers. Soon your baby will be bigger and you’ll feel less scared of letting her free to roam and explore you’ll see x

2 replies

2 years ago

It will getter better, and the bright side is that soon you’ll also have more time to yourself (which is a blessing!) 😄

2 years ago

Thank you I have stepped back a bit with day to day things as I was driving myself up the wall and he’s been more hands on it’s just the walls and being that far away xx

2 years ago

I was that way with my 1st son .. I didn’t let my husband take him or do anything with him

2 years ago

Don’t ever feel like you are being overprotective! It’s completely understandable! You’ve carried your baby for months and months inside you where you know they were safe and protected and then within an instant they are out and starting to explore the world! It is scary and you wish you could be with them every second. I feel the same with my little girl! And hearing about children going missing because a parent ‘looked away for a minute’ just scares you all the more! I never want her out of my sight if we go out, I guess really you can only protect your children so much - but you do anything that makes you more comfortable and don’t think to yourself if it makes you over protective, the main thing is you just want to keep them safe! 💕 xx

1 reply

2 years ago

Thank you xx

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