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Potentially not gonna breastfeed....

So the entire pregnancy I was looking forward to breastfeeding my LO. But after talking it over due to mental health issues depending on how exacerbated they are post partum I may be going back onto medications I was on before which would immediately call for formula feeding only. However, I'm having a hard time being ok with that due to some family members being extremely prejudiced against doing anything but exclusive breastfeeding and I know even with my mental health issues they won't be very supportive if I have to formula feed. I don't know what to do any advice would be appreciated.
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Sweety, a happy mommy means happy baby! Do what’s best for your mental health and baby will reap the benefits.

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Yes I agrees. Tell them bottle or breast, fed is best.

Love that first comment! It is so true. Taking care of yourself, especially emotionally as a new mom is SO important. If you choose to go back on medication shortly after birth, but want to breastfeed, any amount/days before you start (especially the colostrum!) is beneficial. Your baby needs YOU more than breast milk vs formula arguments. I hope your family can come to understand that and give you the support you need 💕

I can’t express enough how important mental health is after having a baby. I struggled with it afterward and realized how it affected the way I interacted with my son. So I would not worry about judgment and prejudice from outside influences.... they aren’t you, they aren’t your baby. You do you and whatever you need to do to make yourself and baby happy 💕

Fed is best for the baby! Don’t let others make your decision for you!

You already said it. Post-partum is NO JOKE. It’s better for you to be mentally capable than to breastfeed and that is the honest truth. That hormone wave is a doozy! And if your family can’t understand that, than it’s best you take some space from that negativity. The only thing you need after baby is born is support, not judgment. Best of luck to you with you new one!

My friend is still nursing her 2 year old, she has been on zoloft for almost his entire life. Look up lactmed, tons of medications are safe while breastfeeding and pose NO risk to the infant.

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The one I'm worried about is olanzapine which is a mood stabilizer.

Mama, don’t let other people’s opinion effect decisions you make for YOUR child. You the mama! A fed baby is a happy baby and you gotta make sure that you are happy and healthy for the well-being of both you and baby <3

A fed baby is a healthy baby and a happy mommy is a healthy mommy! It’s your body and it’s your baby. Do what’s best for both of you!! I have exclusively formula fed my daughter since 3/4 months!

If getting back on medication is what you need for mental health, do that! Don’t let what other people want you to do stop you from doing what’s best for you and your baby. As long as you’re feeding your baby that is all that matters. Try your best not to let their opinions make you feel bad about your decision. I was devastated when I ended up not able to breastfeed my baby, but after a couple weeks of formula feeding and finally not beating myself up it really made things better and was obviously the best choice for my baby and me. And he was/is happy and healthy. Do what you gotta do and don’t beat yourself up! 💜

I’m in a similar position, but it’s medication for a rare heart condition. I’ve had to stay on it for the duration of my pregnancy. If I’m unable to breast feed, so be it. Remember that your health care professional is going to make the recommendation that is safest for you and baby, and not let personal bias impact. Unfortunately, family members can’t always do that. My own mother has repeatedly made comments about her worries that my son will be born with special needs due to my medication, despite any evidence indicating this to be possible. Don’t take advice from people who don’t have any expertise in that area, sometimes that may include people on this app. Just because a friend of a friend was able to safely BF and use antidepressants, doesn’t mean that it’s ideal for you.

I was afraid of postpartum too but I didn’t get it even though I have a history of severe depression and anxiety. What helps moms postpartum is having people around helping her. So maybe you can negotiate with your opinionated family and say that you’ll need their help if they want you to exclusively breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a lot of work even when you get the hang of it because of how little sleep you get. So you’ll need people feeding you and taking care of you so that you don’t lose complete sanity trying to do everything. Good luck! Being a mom is awesome so just stay positive!

Mental health is SO important! Your baby will thrive just fine on formula. Hard as it may be, ignore the judgement. That being said, I suffer from some mental health issues and I take a handful of medications that were safe during pregnancy/breastfeeding. Talk to your doctor to find out if there are any safe medications that would be right for your symptoms. Good on you mama for prioritizing your mental health! You are already doing a great job 💕

Don’t get hung up on breastfeeding, yes it’s ideal, but Mummy being happy and relaxed is way more important. I struggled with breastfeeding for nearly two months with my first, and was in such a state about it. I stopped after 7 weeks, and yes, I felt guilty, but it was definitely the right decision. She’s now two, had no allergies and is rarely ill, so I don’t think it made a difference to be honest. I’m now 8 weeks (with twins! yikes!) and have no intention of breastfeeding them, beyond the first few weeks, it’ll be totally impractical for my family. Don’t let anyone pressure you, it’s YOUR decision x

Fed is best! Look after yourself and best of luck to you xx

You do what is right for you and your baby! Babies are stressful at times and you’ll be sleep deprived for awhile as well. Breastfed is the healthiest option but there is no shame if you’re unable to, especially for medical reasons. Fed is best! If they love you, they’ll support you. If they don’t support you, you don’t need that negativity in your life!

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I am very supportive of breastfeeding for as long as you can. But obviously you need to be mentally well to look after your child , and it seems that you already know what’s best for you , so go for it ! It might be hard to hear what your family has to say, but it’s your baby and your body, and you have the right to chose what is best for you! If I was you I would just try to breastfeed for a few days and see how you feel, and then take it from there. Good luck whatever choice you make xxx PS. You never know what changes will come after giving birth, who knows if your mental health isn’t going to be better ? 🤞

I suffer from major depression,anxiety and bipolar. I can definitively say that regardless of what others may think or say, your mental health HAS TO COME FIRST!!! I totally get the opinion of breast is best but you need to take into consideration the fact that if you're not mentally stable, you will not be able to properly care for your little one. On top of that, there are so many other negative side effects that you may encounter from being off for so long unnecessarily. In the end you do what you feel is best for YOU. your baby will be just fine with either one.

Fed is best. Your mental health has to be priority! There is so much pressure on us as mums to be perfect. You need to do what’s best for you and your child.

I’d say try it out if it’s not for you then go for other options. Give yourself an opportunity you never know what will happen.

Do what is best for YOU! Your mental health is just as important for your baby. It's not up to your family members. That being said, you could meet them in the middle and breastfeed for a short time then go to bottle when you need to?

I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have much support either way. Motherhood certainly has its struggles and this unfortunately, won’t be the only one. I would suggest giving it a shot since sometimes our opinions change or it turns out to be easier than expected. Also, formula is not your only option. Milk sharing is becoming more accessible and acceptable again. I’d also recommend speaking with an experienced nursing mom or consultant if that is possible. Good luck and much love.

I've had some experience with this, please feel free to direct message me ❤️

ANYONE not being supportive of your well being and mental health should not have any say on what you wish to do concerning your life and your babies. They say breast is best but do they say anything is wrong with formula!? My niece was never breastfed or immunised and she’s grown up to be perfectly healthy and just a little madam and it’s beautiful. If you would personally like to breastfeed then speak to your doctor and see if there are alternative meds you can take but at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your LO.

https://motherofalllists.com/2018/08/13/postpartum-psychosis/ Read this. 👆 I am all for breastfeeding and encourage all to do it. That being said, formula is an alternative and there is not a healthy alternative to a mentally sound mother. In this story of Adele’s friend, she was hospitalized for 2 weeks away from her baby due to postpartum psychosis and their breastfeeding journey abruptly ended. You have to be healthy to take care of your baby. Your family would encourage you to take care of yourself and baby in other ways, yes? Healthy eating and good sleep, so you can be healthy for baby? This is along the same lines, but even more important. As mothers, we are constantly judged and overly criticized. This is just the beginning, but you know what is best for you and tour baby, so be a 🦆 and let other people’s criticisms and judgments roll off your back like water. They are not walking your path and don’t have to deal with the repercussions of not taking your meds. You got this! Sending blessings.

Can you find alternatives for your meds. Like I take lexapro and it’s safe to feed my LO with and my birth control as well.

Girl, you do what's best for YOU and that baby. Fed is best — whether it's breast or formula. As long as your baby is fed and healthy and happy, ignore what anyone else has to say. People nowadays are far too judgmental towards moms... If you need to take that medication to keep yourself healthy and fully capable of caring for your LO, then you do that. Don't try to please other people at the expense of your own health.

Oh everybody wants to be the boob police. In the long run your baby needs a healthy and happy Mama over JUST having breast milk! I ended up having to formula feed because breastfeeding effected my mental health, and my baby is healthy and strong. That’s all that matters!

I believe that breastfeeding and the "mom shaming" surrounding anything but BFing directly gave me PPD. As soon as I stopped BFing I had this weight lifted off my shoulders and realized how crazy EBFing made me. I'm such a better Mom now that I don't have depression and anxiety surrounding feeding him. On my second one (due here soon) I'm going to try BFing again and hope I don't have supply issues again but I'm also going to pay CLOSE attention to my mental health and let that be the #1 determining factor of how I feed my baby.

I'm in the same boat and I've been struggling with what I'm going to do. I think I've decided I'm going to make small BF goals so that I don't feel like a failure. For instance I'm gonna try for the first week to BF so baby can get colostrum. Depending on how I feel I'll move it up another week and just keep checking in. It may not work but I also don't know what else to do. I'm not ready for my family's opinions and I know it'll make everything more overwhelming then it has to be possibly increasing my need to get on my meds quickly.

Have you double checked that you can’t breastfeed on your meds? Doctors tend not to be all that well-informed on this. Lactmed should give you a reliable answer.

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Fed is best, period. We are lucky to be living in a time where such a thing as formula exists so that we can help our babies grow when things don’t work out. Breastfeeding (actually, just Prolactin) made. Me. Crazy. I had intense PPD, blocked ducts, an oversupply (yet still couldn’t make enough for my kid), and I was miserable. I understand the benefits of BFing, and I don’t want to diminish those. But if BFing contributes to an unhealthy state of mind, you need to take care of yourself. The whole, “put on your oxygen mask before helping others” thing.

We tried to breastfeed and it didn't work out for us. My son was actually losing weight because he threw up more than he ate and eventually I lost my supply. After a month and a half we switched to formula and it's been perfect for us! I felt awful for awhile but once I saw how much my baby was thriving, and learned he had a dairy allergy and was allergic to my milk, I stopped beating myself up and just focused on feeding my baby. I don't regret it at all! We still have a beautiful bond!

I have a 6 day old newborn and I’ve been struggling with breastfeeding. Home girl is hurting my nipples! I try to breastfeed and then pump the rest out afterwards but at this point...I just feel like pumping and bottle feeding her my breastmilk. A lot of people including my DH are telling me the importance of breastfeeding and bonding with her but the pain in my breast are unbearable. I think pumping breastmilk and bottle feeding is better than no breastmilk at all. -_- The struggles.

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Mama I promise it gets better! Go braless and shirtless, take warm showers, change up nipple creams, see a lactation consultant. Nobody is trying to hurt your feelings by encouraging breastfeeding, we just know how amazing it is once the pain stops and it does stop!!!! I had clogged milk ducts and mastitis over and over again the first two months. Either way fed is best, but the pain doesn’t last.

My friend said that it took her two weeks before it stopped hurting while breastfeeding. Do you have any lactation consultants you can go to? They can help you with latching properly. I’m an exclusive pumper and I can tell you that there are many times that I wish I could have just breastfed instead. Countless hours washing bottles, pumping, and measuring breast milk. Seems so easy to just be able to pop the baby on there and then be done lol. I calculated it and it’s like 4-5 hours a day just on pumping and washing bottles. So you might want to reconsider. I have inverted nipples and my son couldn’t latch on so I had no choice. =\ I’m on my 8th month next week and man do I want to stop pumping so badly lol. Just 4 more months to go.

Your baby it's going to do better with a healthy momma!! Do what you need to do!!! And anyone who gives you lip give some ridiculous excuse the makes them feel bad.... But at the end of the day your child we'll be just as healthy on formula and you are the most important person to them, you need to do everything that you can to make this together time easy on you... Plus half of the stuff that they claim breastfeeding does is crap anyway!

So what’s best for you and baby. Try to find and join other mothers who formula feed so there are others you can talk to and relate to. Don’t feel bad your gonna do great!

I just want to echo what many posters have said. Get all the information you need to make an informed decision. You know your body and your mind best. If you think even for a second that formula feeding is the best option for you and your family, GO FOR IT. Your baby will thrive not matter how its fed. And as for bonding — caring and feeding and loving your baby is what creates bonds. Not how you feed them. Dads, adoptive parents and non-gestational parents all bond beautifully with their children yet don’t (usually) breastfeed them. You got this!

At the end of the day, as long as momma is happy healthy and baby is fed and happy, is ALL that matters. FED is best whichever way you decide

Fed is best, take care of you! A happy mom means a happy baby, let anyone who isn’t being supportive know that. That baby is going to love you more than anything no matter what, that’s what’s important, so have no worries. Right now is the time to focus on you and that baby love.

It's amazing how I already feel the pressure to breastfeed through the limited conversations I have had with healthcare professionals like midwives and GP's. I don't think that they even realise the tone or message that they are sending half the time! No-one knows your circumstances except for you and you need to do what is best for you, because that is what is best for the baby. People tend to forget that an unhappy or struggling mum isn't what is best for baby. Good luck with everything and just remember that everyone seems to have an opinion about everything. Take it all with a grain of salt and know that you will always do what is best for your baby!

By looking after yourself you are looking after you’re baby in the best possible way . Food is food breast is great yes but it’s not everything soon enough you’re baby will be on solids , don’t ever eel guilty you are looking after the both of you if you’re not mentally there then how can you mum at you’re best Xxx

I can say with confidence that I hated breastfeeding with my first, I was back at work after 2 weeks (family business) and it was just REALLY hard. You have to do what works for you! I always say, happy mama = happy baby. Plus bubba will pick up if you are feeling yucky about breastfeeding and it won’t be a good experience for either of you. Good luck with it all, and don’t worry about whether you breastfeed or not, as long as your little bundle of joy is getting fed, that’s all that matters!!! X

I exclusively breastfeed, but it wasn't easy to get here and the first 3 weeks took such a toll on my mental health. I had post pregnancy anxiety as my son was my rainbow baby and I lost his sister before him due to stillbirth. Breastfeeding, I feel, adds so much more pressure and stress in the beginning and if you're suffering from any kind of mental health issue, it will make it worse. I completely understand the guilt as breastfeeding seemed impossible to me but the most important thing is that you're okay for baby. I was a formula fed baby and I've no health issues or allergies and have a very high IQ so your baby will be just fine :)

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My mom couldn't breastfeed. I was formula fed as well. No allergies and high IQ also. You'll both be fine :)

Like my Momma told me when I stopped breastfeeding my three little ones (1st @9months, 2nd@2months, 3rd@6months) .... “WHEN THEY’RE 25, IT WON’T MATTER!” 😘👏🏼😉 Maybe try breastfeeding for the first week or two, IF You feel you can handle it... if not maybe just breastfeed only the first two days when the baby gets colostrum, its the only Boost formula cannot give... other wise formula all the way! Go to formula from there. Formula is made to keep babies strong. If it helps you to be strong, then I would TOTALLY DO IT!!! (((Hugs & Prayers for ya)))

There are anti depressants that are safe whilst feeding, speak to Wendy at the breastfeeding network and she can give you the fact sheets xx

I dont know what you're dealing with but I can tell you I've fought anxiety my entire life and had postpartum depression with my first child. I'm currently exclusively breastfeeding my second child and having no postpartum and I've even had less issues with the anxiety. I honestly think the natural chemicals let out durning breastfeeding have helped. But that's my opinion. Maybe try it for a month or two if it doesn't work then fine you do what's best for you and baby.

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Talk to your psychiatric doc there are psych meds you can take and still breastfeed suxh as Zoloft which I take.

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I feel your pain. I couldn’t breastfeed either of mine because I had to take very strong medication for a lifelong chronic health condition. Friends of mine who have bonded over breastfeeding have rather left me behind, but at the end of the day the most important thing is that my baby has a healthy mum. I can’t look after him if I’m suffering. And it will be the same for you. Unfortunately, a big part of motherhood is growing some very thick skin and just learning to do what is right and best for you and your little one. Stay strong mama. I’m with you x

The fact you’re already concerned about what’s best for yourself is showing you’re gonna be a good mama. Can’t take care of baby if you can’t care for yourself. Do what’s best for you. If someone has something to say about you having to formula feed baby I would honestly just say “are YOU gonna breastfeed him/her for me?” Pretty sure they’re gonna say no. In which case they can shut their mouth. Not their baby, not their problem. Take care of you mama 💕much love

First and foremost, if you don’t take care of yourself, who is going to take care of your baby? A fed baby is best. I was physically unable to breast feed both of my babies, although I really wanted too, but I had to take care of myself. You need to as well. If they are so so so against you formula feeding, tell them to either a) be your wet nurse or b) hire one for you. Either way, your baby will get fed and still get the nutrition he/she needs on formula. Tell them to kick rocks if they can’t support you in YOUR decision for YOUR child.

My mantra for my family is "Do what works for you and your family". I was not able to breast feed my little one. My nipples we're too flat, the shields I had to use were frustrating need to only for me, but my little one as well. I started pumping and used that. When I went back to work, my supply took a big dip and I eventually had to do mostly formula. I really wanted to breast feed my little one, but I came to realize that things just happen that are out of your control. I know it can be difficult, especially when close family and friends are not on the same page with what you plan. But you do what works for you and your family. Try not let others bring you down for doing something different, or not as planned/expected. Your little one will love you no matter what. ❤️

Stay true to yourself. Like many of the other comments, people seem to forget that a healthy baby starts with a healthy mama. If you feel you need to be medicated to do your best for your child, then do it. Formula is not the end of the world and has come a long way since it’s initial creation. Further, you can also seek out breast milk donations if you want to try and supplement with breast milk. It may not be your own, but if it’s important to you then it’s still an option. Unfortunately no matter what you choose to do, even if you did try to breastfeed, you will get unwanted attention and comments so do what makes you feel best. Those negative comments and attention will either subside over time or you will stop letting it bother you because you have bigger things to worry about when you’ve got a new baby. Chin up, mama!

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