Potentially not gonna breastfeed....
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Whatever you decide is best for you and your baby, there are people that will support you! A fed baby is a happy and healthy baby, whether it be breastfed, bottle fed or formula fed, or a mix of all (which we do!). Best of luck whatever YOU decide!
Is this family that would see you often/ever? If not you could just not bring it up or even tell them you’re BF if they ask, even if you’re not. That’s probably what I would do - keep them at a distance unless they could be supportive.
It does not matter what anyone thinks. You’re the mother and you feed your baby how you want to ♥️🙏🏻
Happy mommy is best 💕 I'm a formula fed baby myself... I've done both with my kids and they're fine and yours will be fine. Your mental health is number one. If breastfeeding is what YOU want to do then talk to your doctor. I'm sorry your family is so not understanding-screw them though, they're not you. I know it's easier said than done so reach out to your support system or post here every day if you need to. And seriously-they can f*** off, no mom needs to be shamed. If they're so concerned they need to be helpful. Sending good vibes your way 💕💕💕
Breastfeeding is frustrating to some and for baby. It is for me. I rather pump then feed. I thought it be a lot easier as well. Doctors have recommended formula to supplement. As long as baby gets fed, there shouldn’t be so much pressure.
Postpartum depression has hit me hard as well…I’ve looked forward to breastfeeding my whole pregnancy but the toll it takes on your body and mind when you are already in such a delicate state is NO JOKE. Your mental health is priority for baby, they won’t grow up one day and say, “mom, why didn’t you breastfeed me longer?” Everyone else can take their judgment and shove it. You do what’s best for you and baby. Whatever choice you make is the right one!
I found breastfeeding v hard at first, my little boy is slightly tongue tied and could only latch one side and my nipples got sooo sore. BUT - with lots of home visits from midwives and my doula helping me get the latch sorted, i really enjoy it and I feel so wonderful that he’s getting the best start - I would at least give it a good try for 2 weeks see how it is for you before deciding to do formula. Would certainly express some colostrum before birth if you can and give your baby that in a syringe in the first few days, it’s full of good nutrients
You can only raise a healthy baby if you’re healthy, mentally and physically. So, you need to put yourself first in order to be well enough to look after the baby. You should explain this to them....not that you need to explain yourself to anyone.
It’s perfectly okay to take care of mental health over breastfeeding, I look back and wish I did sometimes! (But I wasn’t medicated). Though I do suggest talking to some certified lactation consultants and LLC about whether or not your medications aren’t actually safe. Many drs are super uneducated on BFing and meds.
Wow lots of comments and lots of good advice, but just wanted to add in case no one did yet, definitely confirm that the medication isn’t compatible with breastfeeding. Unfortunately people often get wrong information on this even from doctors and pharmacists because most drugs are just across the board “no breastfeeding” and that has way more to do with liability than it does with actual science or safety. Or there might be an alternative med that would be ok. Some excellent info here including US and UK hotlines and databases: https://kellymom.com/hot-topics/med-risks/
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A happy mummy is a happy baby, so important to care for yourself and not put pressure on yourself, breast fed or bottle fed they all end up eating McDonald’s x
Breast feeding while on medication can be very dangerous for your baby depending on what the medication is! I’m in the same boat. So if your doctor says the medication is going to be harmful to your baby, you have two choices. To not take the medication and breastfeed, or to take the medication and formula feed. For me, my medication was said to be safe. But I started it and kept breastfeeding and she got very agitated. I chose to stop my medication. But only because I feel like I am able to still be okay without it. A happy MOM is a happy baby. Do whatever works for the two of you. Call 1(806)352-2519. It’s an infant risk center. They specialize in women who are on medications and breastfeeding. They will tell you what level the medication is (1-5, 1 being the safest and 5 being dangerous) and what percentage of the medication can transfer through to the breast milk. Being a mama is hard enough! Do what’s best for you. That will always be what is best for him/her.
Who was it that said you can’t breastfeed on the medication? Was it a nurse or doctor?
Breastfeeding actually combats postpartum depression. When your baby breast feeds it releases oxytocin "the love hormone" for both of you. I would definitely try to breastfeed you never know until you try
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100% agree AND it's your body and your baby. Remember that no one else carried your baby nor are they pushing him out or being ripped open in your behalf. I'm a huge advocate for breastfeeding and mental health. You may realize that breastfeeding can bring about a calmness. That bonding time is something that really can't be described until you experience it. You got this girl!!
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Don’t listen to what anybody says! You need to take care of your self so you can take care of your baby I breastfed for three months and got a lot of comments from my boyfriend and his family and the nurses at the hospital when I went to give my daughter a bottle! I also had a very hard time with anxiety and depression since I was a kid and it got much worse when I was pregnant and postpartum, I now take medication and it’s better for me and my whole family! Good luck!
No matter what you do someone is going to be offended or have an opinion. You know you and your body best and should make you decision off of that then practice your comebacks for when some nosy know it all tells you otherwise.
Do whatever is best for you and your baby. A healthy mama is good for baby so if you need to be on meds and your baby has to drink formula that is totally okay! A fed baby is a happy baby.
I use formula because I need medication for my mental health and my son is happy and healthy
Your mental health is most important for you and baby. Do what’s best for you and baby. If people can’t be supportive then they shouldn’t be a part of your daily life. If you’re not mentally well you won’t be the best mom to baby. Fed is always best. And there are tons of studies showing the baby’s environment has wayyyy more to do with their wellbeing than whether they are breast or formula fed. That being said- breastfeeding releases happy hormones in mom so it’s worth discussing the benefits for mom with you gp before you make a final decision. Also it can be very helpful in postpartum weight loss so if any of your mental Heath concerns revolve around weight it’s also something to think about.
I wanted to breast feed too, my whole pregnancy I was very stressed out and it caused my milk not to come in so I didn’t get to. There’s nothing wrong with breast feeding. You’ve got to put your health first. If you aren’t in a good place it’ll be hard to provide for your LO. By putting yourself first, you’re putting your LO first. Don’t worry about the judgment that some people give when you don’t breast feed. It is perfectly fine not to.
The most important thing is you take care of yourself, in turn it will help you take care of your baby to the best of your ability! I have found that not exclusively breastfeeding has helped me bond with my daughter more because I was overly stressed and sleep deprived - I wasn't doing anything but trying to feed her and get her to sleep so I could sleep (which didnt happen). Now I am relaxed and loving being able to cuddle her and read to her. I still try to breastfeed what I can offer but I know now if it came down to it - the world won't end if she is exclusively fed formula. Don't worry about what others say, I know that can be hard though but know you're not alone.
I wanted to breastfeed too, but right away my daughter was taken to the NICU so I had to pump. She was eating more then I pumped at first so the hospital gave her formula after a week she was only on my milk that I pumped but she was eating every two hours and it took so long to pump, clean the parts, feed her that I didn’t have a break. Then I got a huge infection and finally just went to formula. Best decision ever! As much as I wanted to nurse her it wasn’t for us. In the end you have to do what you have to survive, no joke. Parenting is hard enough. I have tons of family members that still talk crap on me for giving her formula but in the end it was what had to be done.
I tried breastfeeding for about a week. It made me miserable. I have a history of depression, and I just felt trapped. No one could help me. In the 5 days I tried it, my son lost over a pound and a half. With formula, he's so happy. It really just depends on you. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU CHOOSE FORMULA. I say that because it's something I wish I had heard.
All I have to say is do what is best for you. I have been breastfeeding for 3 months now but that isn't what's best for every baby/ mother. No one should at any point mom shame you for doing what is best for you or your baby! You are your own advocate, don't let people stress you out or make you feel bad because the choice you made doesn't suite what others want. The only people who will know what is best for your baby is the parents and don't let others tell you other wise.
I exclusively breastfeed and it has its pros and CONS. Breastfeeding is very demanding. I don’t think I’ll breastfeed again if I ever have another baby. Baby will be fine with formula. Your family will adjust your decision. Don’t stress about it ❤️
Also I’ll add that I had absolutely no trouble bonding with my boy. The bonding actually intensified once I gave up trying to bf and went 100% formula. You’re not going to bond if you’re having a breakdown like I was. Politely tell you’re critics to back the F off, and focus on yourself and your sweet baby :).
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Hi Tara! I read that you fed formula to your son. At what month did you start this? I’m so glad you wrote this post! I’ve had a super hard time with breastfeeding which is causing my milk supply to run low and it’s totally stressing me out.
I had the same thing going on with my first. I was so unbelievably torn. I really thought I would be doing my child a real disservice by formula feeding. I thought his growth, intelligence, and health would be affected and I felt so selfish. I put myself through hell, when I was already having a breakdown!! The stress of it all caused my milk supply to be almost non existent, so as it turned out I had to formula feed from the start. And guess what?! My son is off the growth charts, so far advanced for his age intellectually, meeting all milestones months (and now years) ahead ahead of schedule. Our pediatrician actually wants us to get him IQ tested because she believes he qualifies for advanced schooling. He’s super healthy and the happiest baby/child I’ve ever seen. And I was happier too. On my medications I was able to give him he proper attention he needed. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SISTER. Don’t believe the lies and ignorance about formula feeding.
Before you make up your mind, know that breastfeeding *can* help with bonding and that there are lots of meds that are breastfeeding safe. Good luck to you on whatever you do. :)
Fed is best, mama! Do what is best and healthiest for you. You’ll be in a much better place to care for your little one if you take care of yourself first.
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Fed is best, no matter how you choose to feed your baby. Do what is best for you. You have to take care of yourself in order to be the best mama you can be.
I tried my absolute hardest to breastfeed. I ran myself ragged trying to get my son to latch and all he would do was scream. So I turned to pumping and that was even harder. Trying to pump every 3 hours and be a working mother. I was lucky to get 6 oz for an entire day. I tried every vitamin, I drank more water than a fish and I stopped exercising hoping all this would help me produce more. All it did was make me smell like maple syrup, thank you fenugreek. I wanted so badly to nurse. After doing some thinking I realized I was only trying so hard because of familial pressure. All I wanted was what was best for baby and me. Turns out forcing him to latch and spending hours on the pump getting nothing was not that. So I stopped. It was tough feeling like I couldn’t do what a mother was supposed to do. After a few days I realized I got to spend more time with my son (and more time sleeping). It changed my mental health for the better. I was much less stressed. Do what’s right for you, don’t succumb to pressure
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Hi Haley! Did you only use formula from this point on?
Often times, the same pregnancy hormones will be heightened (in a positive manner) postpartum while you’re breastfeeding. Why not try nursing to see how it goes for a month or two? Also, have you specifically checked into the medications to see how breastfeeding-friendly they are? Besides the LactMed app, there is the book ‘Medications and Mother’s Milk’ (by Dr. Thomas Hale, the absolute guru on medications while pregnant or lactating), and I’d be happy to check medication info/specifics in the book for you if you message me. :-)
Oh hunny, it’s your choice completely...I started breastfeeding, but I couldn’t hack it. She was latched in 24/7 and I was exhausted and in agony. Then one night I burst into tears and said realised I was miserable and hating being a new mum. The moment I stopped breastfeeding everything became easier and I loved being a mumma. For me personally, it’s about picking what’s right for you. Booby milk is great, but a happy mumma is better ❤️❤️❤️
Double check with a reliable source that you can’t breastfeed on the medications. A lot of doctors will tell you, that you can’t breastfeed on certain medications but many times it’s not correct. This is a good resource: https://www.infantrisk.com/
Yours and babies health is what is important, it doesn’t matter what family “thinks”, it’s what works for you and baby. Make sure to discuss it with your OB and babies potential pediatrician, if a different med could potentially work with breastfeeding. Best wishes to you on this journey!
Your mental health is more important than others opinions fed is best formula also isn’t the only choice there are women with oversupplies and they donate milk look for a donor if you want to use breast milk ask a local mom group! :)
You deserve to be happy and healthy... which is better for your baby in the end anyhow. I get it, breastmilk is a power food, but being able to enjoy the wild ride of motherhood is important too. There will always be judgment in the mom life. Make the decision based on what’s best for you and your baby.
Do what is right for you. I am lucky I come from a family with several mental health workers, yet I still felt the stigma when I went on antidepressants and (years later) stopped breastfeeding before 1 year. When it comes down to it taking care of yourself is taking care of your LO. No matter what you choose or what you do someone is not going to like it. For what it is worth, if you are in a good place your child will be too.
Personally I adore breastfeeding. It was truly a great experience and has many health benefits. That said, it isnt for everyone. Formula has come so far and is amazing. You can't properly care for your child if you are not well. If you feel it is best to resume prior medications then do it, and if someone can't support it then they don't truly love you. I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth. You love your baby enough to feed . Fed is best. Good luck on this amazing journey.
You need to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your baby. Your baby will be amazing no matter what. Also, there will always be something people want to judge about. Just know that you're doing a great job and everyone else can kiss it.
I wasn't on any medication. I chose to not breastfeed for my sanity so I wouldn't need medication. I wasn't breastfed so I know for a fact a formula fed baby will turn out perfectly fine. It is ultimately up to you, your hubby and dr. What is right for some people may not be right for you. Your babe needs to to be happy and healthy. If that means not breastfeeding and going back on you medication then that's what you do. Politely tell anyone who asks that it was the best decision for my family and leave it there
So am I experience I felt the same exact way and I recently just quit breastfeeding and honestly I can say is the best thing to do for you and your kid who cares what your family's going to say your in-laws are going to say at the end of the day it's you and if you're having a hard time with breastfeeding it's perfectly fine to stop lot of people on here told me that fed is best and honestly I I believe that. Since my daughter's been on formula she has still been the same little happy smiling baby that she was getting breastfed nothing's changed just how quickly she gets the milk that's about it 😊😊😊😊 hope this helps!
Your baby needs you to be healthy. That’s the only important thing here. How you feed them doesn’t matter but you being well for yourself and them does. I know it won’t end the guilt or make it feel better but you have to put that to one side and focus on yourself x
Be careful with local donors or anything like that. You want breastmilk to be screened because you have no idea what things other mothers have that they don’t even realize. Formula is a great alternative to BM. It’s extremely regulated by the FDA and you can pick whichever works for your baby and budget. I was afraid at first but my son and I were still able to bond! Good luck, mama!
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You do what is best for you. No matter what you do someone will make a comment. Your little one will love you with whatever decision you make because you are putting your health first. Your baby will excel no matter what. Do what is best for you!
Formula is food. Breast milk is food. You’re a fantastic momma no matter what you do, because you care so much about what your baby eats already. You are strong. Do what’s most healthy for baby AND YOU.
Don’t worry about what anybody thinks/opinions. You will be more than capable to take care of your little one with formula. Keep in mind that everyone will advice you and will tell you what is the right thing to do. No one has a baby manual all you can do is what is best for you and your baby and only the mother(you) will know what’s best. All you can do is listen to people’s opinions and not let it get to you.
You can’t care for a lo is you don’t care for your self who cares if it’s formula or breastfed fed is best
It’s whatever works for you and it should be your decision, you could also see how you feel once the baby has arrived. I think in France mothers often prefer not to breastfeed in any case and it’s widely accepted.
But also, this is all a very intimate choice for YOU to make for you and your baby. Family and other peoples opinions can be loud, but you gotta go with whatever feels right for you. If they can’t support you in that, they can learn your boundaries and keep their opinions to themselves. Good luck mama.