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2 years ago

Panic about having a girl.

We did our gender reveal today and we are having a girl! I was happy at first but then went into full panic mode. I went through horrible bullying during teenage year and I honestly don't know how to raise a girl. The world is so cruel and judgemental towards girls, their body image, their behavior and even their achievement. I don't know how to raise her properly to face all kinds of challenges, like how to avoid shitty or toxic relationships, be confident about herself and go after her dream. Please give me some advice, suggestions or just encouragement. Thanks in advance!
Panic about having a girl.

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2 years ago

I was in a toxic/abusive relationship so I feel like this is my biggest fear. My daughter is only 5, but I try to lift her up as much as I can. Telling her she’s beautiful, or smart..ect. But I feel like judging from how I was raised...one thing I plan to do with my kids is just be open. I want my kids to be able to talk to me. My mom never took the time to talk to me about periods, shaving, sex, love...nothing....I have a 10 yr old son so same goes for him too. I want them to be able to come to me and trust me. My mom is very judgmental and tells you what she thinks which in some situations it’s good to hear but I don’t want to sit and judge my kids for their actions I just want to be there to help them figure it out. It’s scary raising boys and girls... I guess it’s just something we figure out as we go. Congratulations. 💜

2 years ago

Read the book Born to Shine!!! Also, girls are difficult to navigate because of everything you mentioned, however we are culturally shifting into a more body positive way of thinking. There are finally dolls of all colors and sizes and hair textures. There are conversations being had that have helped refocus young people to understand tolerance and differences. Nothing is perfect and media still contributes to exploiting women and their insecurities...but there are so many awesome resources now for ya to teach your girl. Start young, compliment all shapes and sizes and looks and character qualities. Live confidently and she will learn from you. Do not allow negative comments about people’s looks in your household. Encourage her and live by example and she will see things in a beautiful light that will help her grow and be a strong badass female!

2 years ago

I am currently pg with my 4th daughter.. my 3 daughters from my first marriage are 9, 12, and 17. So all three are at different levels of drama when it comes to other girls and even boys now get in on it. All 3 have total different personalities and handle things differently emotionally so each one I have to talk to separately quite often. All you can really do as a parent is make home a safe space.. my girls will come home and take it out on each other sometimes and that IS NOT TOLERATED. I wish kids would just stop being so cruel to each other but it just isn’t reality unfortunately. Social media is the worst and I don’t invade their space but I will make them turn off certain platforms for a while if I notice a change in behavior. I’m very close with them so I can just tell when something is up. They NEED to know you’re there and they can talk to you about anything and that you won’t judge them. It’s really really hard. Sometimes the seemingly best solution makes it worse too.

2 years ago

Oh it is no better for boys. It is something you will face with any gender. It is something you will learn to handle with time. No one becomes a perfect mother overnight. As your child grows, you learn.

2 years ago

I’ve thought about this stuff a fair bit. I was also bullied a lot as a teenager and I now have 2 daughters. I plan to lead by example. Show her that her Mama is strong and confident. Teach her to value other qualities over her appearance - being kind, brave, loyal, adventurous, determined. Show her examples of healthy relationships - whether that’s your relationship with her, your partner, extended family, friends etc - don’t entertain any toxicity from others in your life and she’ll learn that she deserves to be treated well by the people around her.

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