Panic about having a girl.
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You’ll do great mama! I think this is a great time to have a daughter, there’s so many wonderful women role models for her to look up to and women are standing up for themselves in ways like never before. Just keep telling her she can do anything and be anything she wants. If you hear criticism of girls from friends or family, nip it in the bud and encourage those around her to encourage her dreams and aspirations too!
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Pour everything you got into her confidence! Just build it up!!
Just build up her confidence. I have a 9 year old daughter and she could care less about what kids think about her. When she was smaller I could tell that she was going to have an alpha mentality and I know it will pay off as she gets older. I worry so much about the challenges my kids will face but I always make sure they know they can talk to me about anything. I have those tough conversations too because it is part of parenting. Having a daughter is a blessing, you will be a great mother.
I have a teenage step son and he’s gone through a lot of this stuff... there is huge pressure on all children sadly. I love the advice above, building up the child’s confidence so they can brush off challenges that come their way. You said you had some difficult times during childhood: be the person you wish you’d had when you were little 💓 you’ll do great!
You are already such a good mother ❤️ I can tell by you worrying about these things. I feel I am strong and believe I can do anything I want if I set my mind to it. My mother always told me that growing up. She told me I was beautiful and smart. I’m all about the positive affirmations. As long as she knows you believe in her she’ll do amazing ❤️ congratulations and good luck 🥰 xxx
I had the same thoughts when I found out I was having a girl
In addition to all the advice above, be mindful about the example you’re setting for her. Let her see you being confident and comfortable in your body. If you’re ever trying to lose weight, make it about how you feel when playing outside with her rather than how you look in an outfit. Make sure the relationships she sees you having are relationships you’d be happy to see her emulate, and if you ever need to end a relationship because it doesn’t meet that standard, don’t be shy about telling her you’re not talking to this person any more because they were treating you poorly.
From the very beginning, give her positive affirmations about herself. When she begins to speak, start teaching her to say them. I tell my baby “You’re smart, you’re special, you’re important, and you can do anything” about 10 times a day. Once he is able to talk, I’m going to teach him to say it with me.
Oh god, same here! I struggled so much as a teenager and I’m so scared my girl will take after me or go through the same things. I was HORRIBLE to my mum when I was really down 😓 I guess having gone through those things ourselves we’re in a position to be more understanding. Things have changed from when our parents were kids. My mum (love her to bits now) was never sympathetic to sexual harassment (‘take it as a complement’) or anxiety (‘just grow up’) and instead of talking things through with her, I acted out. We’re a lot more savvy these days. I hope I can learn from my mistakes and pass that knowledge onto her... She’s also going to take kick boxing lessons so she can beat the hell out of any boys who give her crap 🤷🏼♀️
I have a five year old girl and am having another one in a few months, I also have a 20mth old son.....I was bullied from grade 5-10 for being super tall and acne faced and awkward I hated going to school....all I can do is build her confidence up so she knows that beautiful people means inside and outside and to always be kind to others.....ive seen some little girls being nasty at the park, my daughter is very beautiful and I feel like girls can be jealous but I see her reaction being like meh then i don’t need to play with you and walking away and it makes me proud!
Congrats!!! They are precious!!
Mate I’m absolutely kakking my pants! I went through bullying to the extent of being thrown down the stairs at school and left unconscious. Nobody cared less! My hubby has some really good friends and has been selective whereas I’ve always attracted the numptys! As I’ve grown older I’ve grown wiser and I was hoping for a boy. We are having a girl and all I am worried about is her being bullied, not choosing the right friends, having anxiety, low self esteem with no self confidence etc all in which I’ve been through. I am just going to reassure her throughout her life to be who she wants to be, to be self confident and just enjoy life. As someone said above if you’re thinking about it now I’m sure you’ll do a fab job. She’ll be her own individual person and with your support, guidance and experience I think we’ll be okay! Good luck
I was too!! 😭 I was sad for an entire week
I’ve thought about this stuff a fair bit. I was also bullied a lot as a teenager and I now have 2 daughters. I plan to lead by example. Show her that her Mama is strong and confident. Teach her to value other qualities over her appearance - being kind, brave, loyal, adventurous, determined. Show her examples of healthy relationships - whether that’s your relationship with her, your partner, extended family, friends etc - don’t entertain any toxicity from others in your life and she’ll learn that she deserves to be treated well by the people around her.
Oh it is no better for boys. It is something you will face with any gender. It is something you will learn to handle with time. No one becomes a perfect mother overnight. As your child grows, you learn.
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I am currently pg with my 4th daughter.. my 3 daughters from my first marriage are 9, 12, and 17. So all three are at different levels of drama when it comes to other girls and even boys now get in on it. All 3 have total different personalities and handle things differently emotionally so each one I have to talk to separately quite often. All you can really do as a parent is make home a safe space.. my girls will come home and take it out on each other sometimes and that IS NOT TOLERATED. I wish kids would just stop being so cruel to each other but it just isn’t reality unfortunately. Social media is the worst and I don’t invade their space but I will make them turn off certain platforms for a while if I notice a change in behavior. I’m very close with them so I can just tell when something is up. They NEED to know you’re there and they can talk to you about anything and that you won’t judge them. It’s really really hard. Sometimes the seemingly best solution makes it worse too.
Read the book Born to Shine!!! Also, girls are difficult to navigate because of everything you mentioned, however we are culturally shifting into a more body positive way of thinking. There are finally dolls of all colors and sizes and hair textures. There are conversations being had that have helped refocus young people to understand tolerance and differences. Nothing is perfect and media still contributes to exploiting women and their insecurities...but there are so many awesome resources now for ya to teach your girl. Start young, compliment all shapes and sizes and looks and character qualities. Live confidently and she will learn from you. Do not allow negative comments about people’s looks in your household. Encourage her and live by example and she will see things in a beautiful light that will help her grow and be a strong badass female!
I was in a toxic/abusive relationship so I feel like this is my biggest fear. My daughter is only 5, but I try to lift her up as much as I can. Telling her she’s beautiful, or smart..ect. But I feel like judging from how I was raised...one thing I plan to do with my kids is just be open. I want my kids to be able to talk to me. My mom never took the time to talk to me about periods, shaving, sex, love...nothing....I have a 10 yr old son so same goes for him too. I want them to be able to come to me and trust me. My mom is very judgmental and tells you what she thinks which in some situations it’s good to hear but I don’t want to sit and judge my kids for their actions I just want to be there to help them figure it out. It’s scary raising boys and girls... I guess it’s just something we figure out as we go. Congratulations. 💜
Thank you!