Comparing myself in pregnancy

I avoided social media for a long time, because I wasn’t in a healthy mind frame. When other people showed me their wall or page or what people were doing or wearing I got caught up in the comparing syndrome. I would then go to this insecure place, and act out on my eating disorder as a way to cope. I didn’t join any social network until I was in a healthy place mentally and physically. Now being pregnant, I notice myself going to that dark place again. I try on my “normal” clothes, and feel uncomfortable and fat. I see other women only gaining pregnancy weight in their stomach, while I feel out of control where my baby weight gets distributed. Physically I haven’t been sick, but emotionally I feel bipolar. I get caught up in the comparing game again wishing I could handle pregnancy with grace and ease like other women or wear “it” better. For so long I was able to control my food, workouts, emotional wellness to avoid slipping and now the very body I’m in doesn’t feel like my own. I used to hear women talk about postpartum depression, but rarely prepartum. Even writing this, auto correct doesn’t register the word and wants to change it. I haven’t taken many photos of me being pregnant because I’m super judgmental. My sister told me one of her regrets was not documenting her pregnancy and I thought, I’m traveling all over the world, I should have some reminder to share with my son one day. To remind him and me that just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I have to stay in the house, be in a protective bubble for 9 months, and prohibit me from living life; my life and his. For all the negatives I have about pregnancy one of the positives is realizing how strong my body really is. It took me being pregnant to realize what my body is fully capable of and how weak and deceiving the mind can be. I won’t be one of those women who says they love being pregnant because I don’t, but with every little kick my son gives me, I get out of the darkness and into the light.

Show your support

You look stunning. I know what it feels like to be jealous of other people’s pregnancies, but it was never about the looks for me. More about how I felt (SO horribly sick). We all get caught up in the comparison game though, for sure. But you just have to embrace your pregnancy and remember that you’re building life and there is nothing more beautiful than that, no matter what you think you look like or how you feel. You are 100% beautiful and going to be an amazing mom, remember that!

You look amazing and I know what you mean! I stopped going on social media for a while, all the pregnant women looking so good and then you see all the celebs, it’s so hard not to compare. I sure as hell didn’t feel sexy but the realisation of what my body was doing and knowing that we had made a life and I was responsible for this life gave me a good kick up the bum! “You have to be positive” my mum said, and when you start growing and seeing it was the most special of all! I’ve been taking pics, my hubby takes pics and my family have been instrumental in helping me gain confidence and not compare myself! You’re going to be a wonderful mum and you look gorgeous! Xxx

I definitely understand. I avoided social media and I had extra stress because they kept telling me my fetus was small. My weight was consistent in the beginning but they made me eat more and have a food dairy because she was small. It made me so self conscious. I hated gaining weight and I hated stepping on the scale at centering meetings. I loss a lot of weight when I studied abroad in London and I felt good. So during the pregnancy I felt ashamed. I didn't have postpartum depression because I was so depressed before the baby. The fact she was healthy, happy, and just perfect I was happy. I also really insisted on having an out of hospital and natural birth. It made me feel in control of something and I tried to focus on my birth plan instead of my weight.

You look amazing & your post was amazing! Having the strength to pull yourself out of a dark place while pregnant is power to you!!!

I feel for you because your story resonates with me and reminds me of myself. Or at least how I feel about my body at times. Can’t say I’m too happy with the weight gain or how I feel but I’ve done all I can to embrace it. I’ve received tons of compliments from people but still, I just feel extremely gross. I want to hide at times and when people look at me, I just feel they’re judging me. With that said, I’ve kind of realized that I just need to love my body no matter what because over the years, it’s gone from very overweight to fit and strong and then to this phase of pregnancy. I plan to get right back into a healthier lifestyle once I deliver but for now, I need to think of baby first. I can’t say I’ve gotten off social media because I use it as an outlet and kind of like a journal. However, I don’t really fixated on all of the fit pregnant mamas I wish I could be like. I just think of how lucky I am to experience this and tell myself that my body will get to wherever it needs to be one day.

2 replies

I’ll tell you 3 weeks post baby and the weight is coming off. Everyone told me it would be I thought they were being nice. I want my pre-baby weight now, but it took 9 months to gain and it will take time to lose. Just continue to be honest where you’re at and not feel guilty or shameful about it

Yes, I’m keeping that in mind and reaching out to my friends who are trainers and health nutritionists. I know how to get healthy, I just need to do it. And obviously having some assistance along the way is always a positive. I figured, I’ll walk before I run and just start slowly. However, you’re absolutely right! Took 9 months to gain and might take me 9 months or longer to lose but eventually, I’ll be back to normal or better! As far as social media, maybe try looking at it in a way that’s more positive... like access to tips and fun ways to improve! I’ve started following influencers like TIU girls, one is pregnant and they post healthy recipes and workouts. Or an account that promotes self love of all body types. Hey, even you could be your own motivation and motivation to others by sharing your story.

I needed this. I’m going through a mentally tough time right now with ‘comparing’ what I’m doing to everyone I see on social media and within my own ‘friend group’. You are beautiful and a strong mom. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. 💕💕

You're not alone in your feelings. I'm proud of you for stepping out there and sharing this. I can't imagine how hard your struggle is, but I'm so proud to see you reaching out. You're beautiful momma! Not because of your body, but because of who you are. You're about to be a little boy's momma. :) If you need help, don't be afraid to reach out and find it. Use your strengths. So proud of you for sharing your hard moment with us. ❤️

If you can breastfeed the weight will come off quickly. I lost over 20 in the first 10 days and i had gained over 40lbs with my first and it only took around 2 months to lose it all with zero effort and I even had an unplanned c-section so I wasn’t very mobile the first 2 weeks and wasn’t able to exercise at all. When I was pregnant what I found helped was buying nice maternity clothes that accentuated my bump. Wearing normal clothes just made me feel fat. I even cried tears of joy in the fitting room when I got my first maternity outfit because I finally looked pregnant instead of fat. Pregnant again now and I still find the changes in my body hard but I know now that I’ll bounce back quickly. Good luck!

1 reply

Thanks for sharing

💙

I felt the same way it took me two years to finally weigh 100 pounds which is normal for my height 4”11 and during pregnancy seeing all that hard work and dedication fading was hard now that I have had my daughter I’m at 136 and breastfeeding but I’m a lot happier so don’t worry it gets better 😊

Stay strong, Honey, you are beautiful. That weight your putting on is your baby growing so he can be healthy and strong outside of the womb.

Girl...I hated pregnancy: babies are great I love my son...but no. Anxiety went out the roof...I got fat.,.not fun at all...

This post may be old but it is everything ❤️ so many women (including me) have these exact same feeling and it’s so nice to know that we aren’t alone. Thanks beautiful!

When i was pregnant she took everything from me and wouldn't let me eat anything. So i was really skinny with a fat belly at one point. Idk if this will helpbut i just had to constantly remind myself that at some point shes gotta come out and i won't be a stick with a pumpkin anymore. Even now with my pouch and stretch marks and not fitting into my normal pants i have to remind myself that i just had a baby and my body wont ever be the same. I use my love for her to battle the negative thoughts and try to use it to empower me. Like "yea i got this extra loose skin and my pants dont fit but i made a whole ass person and im awesome for that"

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌