Advice needed!

Sit down together and budget, save like crazy and buy things second hand. It’s amazing what you can do when you really go through your finances!

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That’s true! Fortunately we know some pretty amazing people and have all of the essentials 😊 money is so easy to stress about but it will all be worth it when the baby arrives 😁

We’ve spent v little since the baby is here now we’re going out less (and the country is in lockdown) we’re moving to a new house and I want options for both or either of us to Part time next year so we’re going through bills looking for deals, clearing out and selling on eBay and being careful as we can

I only get the essentials and buy many things gently used. You can make it work!

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That’s a great idea! We fortunately know so many amazing people who have helped us out with everything we need baby wise. Thank you for the encouraging words!

Why don’t you get paid maternity leave? Isnt that a legal requirement?

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Not in the US 🙄 We have one law that requires 12 weeks unpaid leave, but I think some companies can get out of it. Its so archaic and bad. Thankfully in NY where I live the law is to pay 78% of income (or around that) for 12 weeks leave

Wow! I work for an American company and we get 20 weeks full pay and they match your gov pay (£150 a week) up To 39 weeks then it’s 12 weeks unpaid. That’s crazy but I did hear it’s bad in the US for Mat leave etc 😫

If you don’t qualify for SMP then you can see if you’re eligible for maternity allowance through the government. You will also be able to get your child benefit which obviously isn’t a huge amount but every little helps. If you’re in a position to, try and save while you’re still in work before the baby is born, that way you have money to dip into as and when you need it or if you do save enough you can pay yourself a small amount every month as a ‘pay day’ from your savings x

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Sorry, I’ve just noticed you’re in the US so not sure what I’ve said is relevant as I’m in the UK. You could deffo do the last bit though :)

We are definitely putting every penny aside that we possibly can until he is born! As for the maternity allowance, I’m not sure if the US offers that but I will definitely look into it! Thank you for the advice

There are diaper banks in some larger cities too that give away diapers, wipes, and baby supplies to those in need. I would apply for medicaid, food stamps, WIC, etc. Anything helps.

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Very true. I’ll have to look into that! Thank you 😊

I can only suggest working super hard now to get the money saved up, buy second hand and take whatever is being gifted, even if you won’t need it until the baby is 6 months old. I’m in the same boat, but I’m the uk we are entitled to maternity allowance if your employer won’t pay. Which isn’t much to be fair, can you get any kind of welfare assistance even if it’s food stamps? Good luck x

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My employers are amazing and have helped me out as much as they can and I am so grateful for that! I will for sure be working up until the day I either go into labor or get told by my doctor that I need to stop working. I definitely second the taking in everything you can while you can whatever it is because every little thing helps 😊 thank you for the advice!

My job also didn’t pay for maternity leave. One of the biggest help for us was applying for financial aid. My husband and I make ok money honestly I didn’t even think we would get approved. Turns out we qualified for full payment. So I didn’t even have to pay a penny for all my appointments and c section. That would have been about 3K with my insurance.

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Oh wow that’s amazing! We have been thinking about financial aid for some time but like you I thought we would both be making too much to quality. I will definitely have to look more into that! Especially if it can save us worry and stress 😊

It doesn't hurt to apply

Sign up for Medicaid, and snap and other assistance programs. Go through your budget now to plan. Don’t be afraid of food banks, diaper banks etc. Most things for the baby you can get second hand, but for sure buy a car seat NEW. You never know if it’s been damaged in some way. I was given lots of things from other moms that go to my church ❤️

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I work at a private preschool and was fortunately gifted more than I could ever imagine and was so lucky in that aspect ♥️ thank you for the great advice. The car seat was the one thing I was adamant about getting brand new 😊

Even of they dont offer paid maternity leave they can't fire you. I don't understand why you cant still work there after your maternity leave?

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Oh no, I’m not being fired! It’s just a financial and personal decision not to work there once I have the baby. I work with very small children and don’t want to spend all day with babies and be too exhausted and worn out to enjoy time with my little one 😊

Why do you have to leave your job? Although they are not obligated to pay you for maternity leave, they must keep your position for 12 weeks! Aren't they? Save as much as you can. Look for state assistance once you deliver.

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And don't stress! Enjoy being pregnant. You'll get to it when you get to it

I don’t HAVE to leave. It’s just what is best for me and my family personally and financially. I am 100% sure they would keep my position but I work with very young kiddos and don’t have it in me to jump back into work with babies and be too exhausted to enjoy time with my little one. Also, for my baby to go where I work would sadly be more than I pay for my mortgage 😂 so if I do end up working with kids again I would prefer to work at a place my baby can go and that I can afford.

I asked friends and family for hand me downs, I got lots of clothes and some people gave us car seats and high chairs and playseats. We also got a few nice presents when he was born. It is pretty tight (are you using YNAB or something similar yet?) but it's very much planning for one day at a time, one week at a time. I was worried about money but then he was born into a pandemic! And our spending requirements just changed, just like that. Now that he's almost a year old, I can tell you that you won't know what they need until they reach that point anyway. One step at a time, that's all you can do.

You are absolutely right, one day at a time. One week at a time. Those are probably some of the most encouraging words I have heard! ♥️ I don’t have YNAB but will have to look into it. I love anything that helps me budget. We were very fortunate to have been gifted with hand me downs and baby essentials and know I could eliminate so much stress if I just focused on one day at a time 😊 thank you!

Save as much as you can now. Idk how your state works but I got almost 3k from disability which was so helpful. My state also offers a paid family leave thing. Its new, but I think I gog an addition 1600 from that. Look into programs your state offers to help financially.

I worked right up and saved all my holidays. My employer offered OMP and even so I went back at 6 months as the drop to SMP wasn't doable. A lot of stuff for baby I got second hand, particularly in the first year there are so many high quality hardly used clothes and toys and we saved so much that way. Also very careful what you buy, there was so much I thought i needed but didn't and it was just a waste of money. Examples: Changing table (always did it on the footstool or bed) Bumbo (kids will sit in their own time) Nappy bin (bag it up, take it out) Try and get some local advice about what you might be entitled to. In the UK you get family allowance and you might be eligible for universal credit or maternity grants.

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Thanks for the advice! I definitely agree with the staying away from things you don’t need. I work with small children so I know that most things new parents buy they hardly use or never needed to begin with.

Do they not have to give you maternity leave? X

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They do have to give me maternity leave but it is not paid. So if I want to take 3 or 4 months off it will be coming out of my own pocket to cover bills and such.

I thought maternity pay is a legal obligation. They don't have to pay you occupational pay but statatory maternity pay is paid legally I thought. I'd you can't claim that you should be able to get maternity allowance from the government. I'd ring citizens advice personally x

Save up as much as you can and apply for assistance. I also started an at home business that I do from my phone with no inventory. The company is ground floor with an amazing comp plan

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I’m very curious about the home business you started could u message me more about it ? I’m currently 7 months and not working because of my pregnancy

Same interested to know.

I got on the state insurance! It’s definitely helped. I’m still waiting on all my medical bills to see what they all covered 😬 I tried my hardest not to spend money on random things before my baby was born either. So I saved some extra money. My job didn’t pay for anything either which sucks

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That’s a great idea! My parents are both military so I am covered under their insurance which thankfully hasn’t cost me anything so far. We are trying our very hardest to just buy the essentials and save literally every penny we can! I know we will be fine...it’s just so easy to stress 😂 especially as I get closer and closer to my due date

Hey mama I’m going through the same thing! & just hand my car repossessed bc of this... I say save as much as you can & pay as much as you can. Also, apply for all things government assistance ASAP. God bless

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I’m sorry that happened to you! It’s a hard boat to be in but we got this! 😊 my boys not even here yet and I couldn’t imagine my life without him ♥️

Will you be a single parent or do you have a partner, when do you leave your job after you have your child you can apply for unemployment it’s something I did when I was a single parent with my oldest daughter. I moved in with my mom that my love you know option but I think cleaning on someone else for support will help I had some money saved up however I live with my mom financially, supporting me for six months until I was able to go back to work. In the meantime I did I love you assistance and food stamps. But when I went back to work I was able to use subsidized child care services because I had used General assistance. 

Not sure if someone mentioned this already but look into a remote job. I was able to find a couple of job opportunities that pay well. Maybe if you find a different shift from your SO you could make it work. Regardless don’t stress! I know it’s a lot but your precious baby can feel and absorb all of that so try to stay calm and happy for him. No point worrying about the future, Who could of told us this time last year that 2020 was going to be like this? Only God knows and he will provide. Take care

I shop consignment/ second hand for clothing, baby gear, furniture. It saves a ton of money because kids grow so fast, why pay full price for something new that they may only wear a few times? We also cloth diaper. Now I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea...BUT disposable diapers are going to cost you about $2,000 (give or take a few hundred depending on the brand) per child from birth until potty training. And that’s money you are throwing in the trash! Or you could spend between $500-$1000 up front for a cloth stash to use for all the kids and NEVER BUY DIAPERS AGAIN!!!! In addition to traditional couponing, I always shop through apps like Ibotta and Rakuten to get additional cash back. My motto is I pay full price for nothing. Also, why are you leaving your job and looking for a new one? Is it by choice? Because they CANNOT fire you. The Family Leave Act gives you the right to up to 12 weeks of (unpaid) leave.

I shop used everything! I have notifications on my phone for different toys and clothing lots I know I’ll want and need in the future and when a good deal comes along I go for it. I also get calendars for local thrift stores, many times they’ll have deals that work help. For instance I needed a toy bin so waited until half off furniture day and was able to get a few trunks that work perfectly for a great deal

Save as much as you can. Eat at home, cook food and try not to eat out. Save save save for your mortgage and emergencies (especially if you have a house). Do you know about Dave Ramsey? And then look into Buy Nothing in your area for free baby items and house items and even food sometimes.

I would save, and like everyone said, buy used...remember most used baby stuff is lightly worn, and still in great shape. I would NOT do Herbalife or any pyramid type of business, or get into credit card debt. You will pay far more than you make/save in the big picture.

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@Alexandra not saying u can’t be successful but if you look into the numbers, far MORE people buy in and get no return

I am kind of in the same boat I started work but my son is on a breastmilk diet and I don’t want him on formula right away. My fiancé is the one who is currently working while I stay at home and take care of our son. I am trying to find things to do on the side so we have money coming in for bills and to pay for rent as well.

Speak to centerlink. I was really surprised at how many benefits you are actually entitled to as a new mum. You don't mention if you are single of have a 2nd income in the household but if you are a single mum there is even more. Here are some entitlements and link that you might find helpful. FTB Part A $186.20 p/f Family Tax Benefit Part B $158.34 p/f Child Care Subsidy calculate here https://www.centrelink.gov.au/custsite_pfe/pymtfinderest/paymentFinderEstimatorPage.jsf?wec-appid=pymtfinderest&wec-locale=en_US#stay Child Support Agency Salvation Army, Anglicare, Mission Australia and Foodbank http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Find-legal-information/Relationships-and-children/Children-and-parenting/Parenting-arrangements

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Im a little late on the post but figured Id share my experience. I sort am with my second but I figured it out but I had been in the same boat as you are with my first. Anyway we have resources (Im in CA though so they'll be different for you if you arent in CA) This time around with my second pregnancy Im yet again having to take off work without maternity pay BUT CA has state disability insurance for pregnancy and THANK GOD im qualified for it. So I get 4 weeks prior to delivery (I got approved for more because of complications) and then Im eligible for 6-8 weeks afterwards depending on the method of delivery. Then very recently the state implemented a new program called Paid Family leave to bond with your newborn for another 6-8 weeks within a year of the child's age AFTER the 8 weeks disability pay. Im so thankful for that. Sorry for the lengthy reply but my point is do you have such programs in your state? You might want to check it out!

I feel your pain! I’m self employed and I get nothing. Worried about getting loans etc

I know for some people the thought of public assistance sucks but try looking into what your state offers in the meantime to help offset expenses

1)Look into benefits you can receive. I think there’s places that provide food and formula if needed or even coupons for diapers. 2) make a gift registry for your baby and post the link to your friends and family. People do this anyways for baby showers sometimes. ASK FOR DIAPERS. 3) make a weekly budget

which country are you from?? I'm in England and we can get support frrom the government if a mum and looking after baby xx

If you are in the uk ,you should be entitled to stat governmental pay theres also a fee benefit options out there. Have a look where you fit. You should definty get child benefit. Are you living with the dad. His money will be your money too and if you are struggling with payment from him. Call the csa x

During this unprecedented pandemic all year most of us mama's are in uncharted territory. I myself have lost my business, lost one of my twins, and my doctor has COVID19. I know that for me I've had to put complete trust in our government. That they can and will get our country back on it's feet. Being on bedrest since 26 weeks has been a challenge. My husband still has his job but it's not enough. I didn't have any baby shower. Not in person or virtually. I know that everyone I know is in the same financial situation as I am so I decided to not have a shower, party, or registry. I'm sorry I didn't mean to get on my soapbox, lol. What I can do is remember the friends that have had babies within the last 2 years just to see if they would donate gently used items from their pregnancy and babies.

SAVE UP or ask for monetary gifts for the baby shower

Are you in the uk?. Ull get stat mat pay of so?? . Is your jobs something you can invest with on line?. It may turn out to be a better option as you have flexibility xx

I see you're in Nebraska - have you looked into unemployment? If you're company is basically requiring you to leave instead of offering leave you might be entitled to some benefits there. You'll still have to prove you're applying to jobs but I believe it's like 3 applications/week. Definitely worth looking into

A strict budget and a plan are your friend. There are a lot of places hiring right now and it may be a good time to freshen up your resume. If you think you would enjoy a work from home position, that may be a stress reliever for you!

Have you thought of a live in nanny job someone might allow you to live in with the baby

🤗first things first. Stress is NOT good for that baby. Start by downloading your favorite music and color by number apps. One hour listening to music and color by number should help reduce stress some. Next fill out applications for jobs and create a resume

Government has lots of things to help

Unemployment girl

I am self employed so I won’t be getting maternity leave either. Don’t have any tips but just letting you know your not alone in feeling the stress

Short term disability can be for yourself or someone your taking care of in this case both you and your baby. This is especially if you don't have maternity leave. This is good for 6 months. This dosen't have to be like a total disable illness just not able to work due to recovery.

Also states have for newborn all.kind of help for temporary services.

I was the same way as you. I was super stressed about money. I’ve always had anxiety so adding the hormones, it can be overwhelming. My doctor put me on antianxiet meds postpartum and it changed my life!! In the meantime I would get a meditation app on your phone. Breathe has a good free version. Also, you can get tons of used baby stuff cheap on local yardsale sites, Craigslist or at Savers. Lots of people will bargain because they want to get rid of it. Also look at local yard sales. Talk to your OB about any government recourse that can help. You’ve got this mama!!

I worried a lot since my husband agreed to work so I could be home but kept getting laid off from jobs and then went to school to get a better job. I was pretty stressed when I saw how little our savings stretched since inflation went so high, but I just tried to focus on my baby and meditate often. Eventually everything worked out.

God provides you'll be fine don't stress too early have faith, start buying things early likee diapers and wipes, onesies and sleepers

Give it to God

FMLA

If your in the UK you can apply for Maternity pay and a sure start grant. You can also get a Healthy start card, this helps with fruit, veg and cow based formulas. You’ll also be able to apply for Universal Credit xx