Not what I expected....

I had the perfect pregnancy... never even nauseous.... then after a traumatic 37hr natural labor. My baby girl was born not breathing (meconium aspiration) she was immediately taken from me to go to the NICU for 5 weeks on a ventilator, we didn’t know if she was going to make it for a little while. Then she had to come home with a G Tube and that came with a lot of baggage. I’m beyond grateful that God got her through it and she’s now home, healthy and amazing! But I sometimes grieve for all the things I missed out on and it makes me feel guilty. Not being able to hold her when she was born for a week, my husband not cutting the cord, no newborn pictures (other than in the hospital with tubes all over her), her being drugged unconscious for over a week, living with her in a hospital room the whole time, not being able to show her off because of COVID.... I’m definitely blessed to have her at all but all the excitement of a new born just fell by the way side and it makes me sad, not to mention terrified of having another baby 😔 I will say though she is amazing and worth the wait!
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Congratulations on your baby! We had a traumatic delivery too and I will be seeking a birth reflection in due course. Do you have such opportunities available in the US? I sometimes think that because of what we went through I give my little boy extra cuddles and that can’t be a bad thing really!

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Haha definitely not a bad thing! I don’t know that we have that here. Just regular counseling/therapy

I was given a leaflet when leaving hospital about it. Due to our Covid situation it can’t happen in person so I’ll wait. In the UK you can request one until your baby turns 25 YEARS! Enjoy your Christmas snuggles!🎄

Congratulations on ur arrival I remember very well with my little boy totally unexpected heart condition had a planned section he was breeched had a great pregnancy, rushed 3hrs away from home and operated on 18hrs old on a 9hr op, it's scary ur baby a fighter nhs r amazing 😍 (he's 3 now) and am away too have my 2nd one. Take care of one and another

She is a fighter. U can be a proud mom.

She’s beautiful and I’m so pleased that she got to go home where she belongs 💕


What a miracle. I'm so glad she made it 🙌 🙏

I completely understand. I had a similar experience due to mecunium aspiration. I didn't get to see her for the first time until almost 18 hrs after having her. Then she was on oxygen for 3 months after. I feel lucky she is okay but sometimes I'm sad I missed out on doing skin to skin or even seeing her born. All of our pictures for the first 3mo include tubes and tanks. It was 2 years ago so everyone is asking when we will have another and I'm not ready, I don't think I ever will be.

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Yup that’s how I feel too but I don’t want to let fear get in the way of her having a sibling and a potentially very healthy birth. It’s tough....

Congrats so glad your babies ok I couldn’t imagine what you and some moms go through when not having an easy birth/delivery. I’m glad you guys have all made it through it 💕💕

You nicu mammas are the strongest there are. I admire the strength I see every day. Being a nicu nurse is the BEST job on earth, but nothing is harder than watching the sweet parents grieve over their babies. I’m so happy your little girl was so strong 💜

You should be so proud of yourself you held on stayed strong and that gave your baby strength ,

Congratulations Mama ! God bless your family 💕

I was the same with my first daughter, emergency c section at 32 week, 24 hours old before I even saw her and 3 days old before I could even touch her, special care for 6 week. Missed out on so much. I was also scared to have another. But my 2nd daughter was a completely different experience, born naturally with no pain relief, immediate skin to skin, it was amazing and I’m so grateful I got to experience it that way too. Don’t be put off, no 2 are the same! Xx

Bless her little heart!

You are truly blessed to endure all of that . Blessings your way stay strong beautiful

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She is a fighter! The toughest ones go through the toughest battles. She will be good and so will you. Look at the brighter side of things even when things don’t go your way per se. sending prayers your way my love. Merry Christmas

Awe u got this. Lets pray she gets better and heals quickly.

So happy you both are well! Yes it may feel like you missed out but now you have a life time together God willing 😍.

Hi Love Don’t live on the past. Think of how many mothers leave the hospital empty handed no baby now or ever. Focus on what a blessing you are holding 🙏 God bless !

So much fun things to catch up on now!!! Look to the future now mamma. You did what you needed to do in order to get through a traumatic time.

I'm sorry you went through that. I know almost exactly how you feel. I grieve the experiences we lost out on. Now I'm pregnant again and praying daily I'll be able to experience all the typical things.

My youngest ?came at 35 weeks he wasnt breathing well and was taken from us immediately so i know the feeling of feeling like you missed out on things he didnt a month in nicu and had a rough 1st 3 months but im so glad she pulled through ans is doing well


Praying for you. I know the feeling my youngest was born at 37 weeks via c-section she wasn't breathing and had the cord wrapped around her neck the drs had to shock her 2 times to bring her back she was in the NICU for almost 7 days hooked up to machines her lungs were filling with carbon dioxide and she was diagnosed with having respiratory distress syndrome we didn't know if she was going to make it or not but she did and we are very thankful she is now almost 2 months old and has breathing problems

It's human to mourn for the things you missed out on when you have this idea of "normal" in your head because you're comparing yourself to everyone else. I've experienced my own disappointments with all 3 of my labors/deliveries and had to grieve over it. It has nothing to do with your next baby though. Don't let this experience keep you from having more children. I know it's hard, but try to remind yourself to be thankful you didn't lose your baby. This is what I do when I catch myself feeling down. There are so many out there with fertility issues or have suffered losses.

Sending you lots of love and strength to keep going. I know I’m these situations we can find strength in most unusual places of ourselves. You are doing great ♥️♥️♥️

Hi I went through something similar and it affected me a lot mentally too but after time I was able to come to terms with it and now I'm just so happy to have a healthy son and I'm looking forward to having another baby hopefully in the near future. I just want you to know you're not alone and it's totally normal! Looking back I had post natal depression and couldn't imagine ever feeling normal again, it helps talking to someone about it x x

I think it’s okay to be deeply grateful and yet mourn the precious moments you didn’t get to have. Mommy emotions don’t have to be one dimensional at all. Wish you the best 🙏🏼

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