Has anyone else opted out of exams?

We knew we were having a planned c section so i never went thru any of that, but my thoughts exactly no way is someone putting their hands inside me🥴 baby will come when babys ready

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Ah that’s understandable then! Yeah, I just really don’t want it; it’s not necessary 😖

I also elected for a section but had I had a natural birth I’d have opted out too! X

I’ve only had an internal once and only to eatablish how advanced my labour was. Totally up to you. Absolutely not essential. Never had one with my second and labour was fine! Best of luck!

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Yeah, I’m thankful it’s optional as I wasn’t aware until I started doing hypnobirthing! Thank you; I’m in love with my wee bump 💕

Lovely belly btw! 😍

I didn’t opt out but only had one on arrival and I don’t think it made any difference at all. I was 5cm when I got to hospital, got in the pool and then they didn’t bother again. Midwife wanted to check when I said I was ready to push (she didn’t believe me) but baby was crowning so it was obvious! I don’t think it should affect the whole process. Good midwifes have lots of other ways of checking progress.

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Exactly! I don’t think it makes much difference as you can dilate up to 10cm in half an hour if you body is ready or take three hours to move up one. So it doesn’t really help much,

Oh wow! Yeah, I know they can check the “purple line” that goes up from your bum and that indicates how dilated you are. But it’s not all accurate anyway; baby will come when they come.

I wish I had opted out! Baby was measuring 4 weeks ahead on growth scan so they started doing internals on me early (35 weeks). Literally 2 hours after my first internal exam, my water broke. When I got to the hospital my doctor made a joke like “oops, maybe I broke your water”. No idea if that’s possible or not BUT it is quite a coincidence that I had the exam that morning and had no other indications of labor until my water broke. Definitely not letting them do internals next time until closer to 40 weeks

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Oh my goodness! Definitely possible if your cervix wasn’t ready to dilate that much.

Definitely possible! It’s one of the risks that come with internal Exams!

I’m going to opt out.

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Absolutely. I had no idea with my first or I would have. Vaginal exams are a nightmare for me. There’s risk involved too! My doctors can be pushy so I just hope they don’t give me a hard time because I’m a wuss when it comes to doctors lol.

Me too; it’s not necessary, and uncomfortable 🥵

I was going to opt out but glad I didn't as they found baby to be breech so needed a csection & might not have known without examination, but midwife did ask first and check I was ok with her doing it

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Yes they have to ask your permission of course, cause it’s classed as assault if they don’t. I see how it can be beneficial!

What?? I wasn’t asked!! Also I had a really bad L&D. I had no idea you can even opt out!! My experience was so bad the hospital kept apologizing to me and calling me after I left the hospital!! My Dr.’s license should be pulled.

I’m opting out. No benefits in my eyes as even if they tell you how dilated you are, doesn’t really mean anything in terms of how quickly you’ll actually have your baby and it’s an infection risk. Plus they have other signs of knowing and my midwives are very supportive of this. The most important thing is to create a good birth environment- much like the way a mammal would give birth. Dim lighting, remain relaxed, breathe through the contractions, minimal people in the room, make sure you’re drinking lots of water, stay active and upright etc. Birth is the most natural thing in the world and it has become so medicalised which is why there are so many interventions these days

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Yes! Exactly!

Yes! Hypnobirthing for the win 🙏🏻💕

I had them and it was no big deal to me.. I feel like it gives your dr a better indication of what your body is doing. 🤷‍♀️

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I don’t have a doctor as I’m birthing in a midwife led centre, doctors don’t handle births in the UK generally. I find it soooooo invasive!

When do they start to do internal check my minds gone blank can’t remember with first x

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They didn't do it until I was in labour with my first x

I didn’t get any internal examinations with my last pregnancy until 41 weeks when they gave me a sweep which I asked for ... also for my last labour I didn’t have any internal exams at all, I was labouring at home and by the time the midwife got there I already knew I was ready to start pushing so when she asked to do an internal to check dilation etc I just refused as I was already in water and nothing was getting me out of there 😂

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I think it’s totally different when you are asking to be examined; but I disagree with pushing them upon women when they’re not 100% necessary. Ha! Yeah there’s no way a hands getting up if baby’s down that far!

I’m 31 weeks but have to start going weekly until baby is here and no one has checked me yet so now i’m nervous if this is something they’re gonna start 😳

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It’s far too early to get internal exams for you just now. And no, they have to ask your permission to do it 🤗

I didn’t opt out and didn’t realise you could, I had 7 sweeps... would 100% opt out next time! Xxx

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Oh crikey! Yeah, I don’t blame you; I can’t handle the thought of it! Xxx

I had internal exams almost every week after 36 weeks. Those were okay but when I was in labor they checked almost every 2 hours . It was so traumatic to me even when I go to the Obgyn now I get anxious & all I remember is that feeling. If you do have it done do it only if it’s absolutely necessary

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So sorry to hear your experience wasn’t great 😥 I feel it’s an intrusion of our bodies and I’m hoping to make a stand against having it done.

Ugh I hated the every 2 hr thing. I was in labor for 48 hrs. 32 hrs were in the hospital. I had them check my dialation so many times I lost count.

I’m 37 weeks and being induced next week I haven’t been offered an internal examination and it’s totally unnecessary. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Obviously whilst I’m being induced they will need to examine me to see how the drugs are working and how the labour is progressing, but prior to that they have no need to be checking me. I think being in a hospital and actually being in labour is a completely different situation that being ‘examined’ at your local doctors office that 50 other women have already been Into today alone 🤷🏼‍♀️

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You don’t have to be examined during birth either x

I know I don’t have to, but I do have anxiety about labour and think that it would help me personally. I won’t be allowing the ‘two hourly examinations’ as it’s excessive in my opinion. But I do want to know how my labour is progressing. :)

My midwife didn't examine me internally once, until I was already in early labor

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Also, I was 1 cm dilated with my first son, for almost 2 months.

I haven’t been examined yet either! But I’m not taking it during labour either 🤗 I see no effectiveness to being examined

I didn’t have them before my labour, no sweeps but I asked for one after 18 hours of labour. Your body your choice 😘

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Definitely everyone’s choice with their own body! I won’t be taking them during labour as I feel they’re unnecessary and would probably halt my labour due to anxiety 😖

If you have extreme anxiety relating to examination it might be worth raising with your midwife to put your mind at ease. They usually aren’t offered unless there’s a good reason but it might be recommended at some point in labour so may help you to be more prepared.

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I don’t have an allocated midwife unfortunately so I’ve wrote my own birth plan and have my fiancé there to advocate for me 🤗 it’s not necessary 100% of the time, especially with me in a low risk pregnancy!

The only internal test I would still do is the strep b test. That can make baby super sick if goes untreated

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Oh I haven’t been offered this yet!

I wasn’t checked during labor. I had my membrane swept when I asked for it at 41 weeks. It didn’t disrupt my birthing plan at all.

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That’s great that you asked for it 🤗 I don’t want to be asked for it or suggested it, I’ve put it on my birth plan.

Hello! I’m in the exact same boat they have offered me an “epidural” as a way to cope so I don’t have to feel anything. You could also say that you need extra support when it comes to things like this. I’ve been put into contact with my hospitals maternity mental health team so they can prep you for things like internal examinations. Still haven’t decided If I’m going to agree for the examinations or not. But honestly there not mandatory and you feeling comfortable is the most important bit :) x

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I feel that I would find that very overwhelming just for an internal! But, it’s every woman’s choice whether to have them or not 🤗 I’m opting out as I feel that’s what’s best for my anxiety, and my labour won’t then be stalled

I had the same happen to me. I screamed in pain. After 8 hours they told me I need the epidural to help the pain.

They don't admit you into labour ward until you're 4cm so not sure how you'd be able to get around an internal in the UK... Do they hurt at all?

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You are NEVER forced to have an internal. I’m also not going into a labour ward, I’m going to a birthing centre 🤗

A good midwife has other ways of being able to tell when you are in active labour. You will still be admitted if you decline an internal examination.

You can ask them to use the Purple Line method instead of an internal exam if that makes you uncomfortable. A purple (if you are white) or silvery white (if you are a person of colour) will appear just above your bum and increases in length up towards your back the more dilate you become. The midwife will estimate your dilation by measuring this line and it doesn’t require any invasive examination

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Yes! This is what I’m going to suggest my midwives use 🙏🏻

Internal vaginal exams increase your chance of infections. I only did them when I'd been i labor a few hours and she wanted to see how far I was. It wasn't necessary but I wanted to know how close I was. I wasn't close. XD oi.

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I agree! I hate all the things people say are mandatory.

Yes they do! If a mum wants to opt for an internal, that’s up to them; but I just feel the notion of them being viewed as “mandatory” is so wrong.

My doctor was super laid back about them and I said that I didn’t want an exam unless I requested it. I had no internal exam until I was in labor and asked to be checked as it was pretty intense and I was 10cm by then. It’s completely up to you. Try and talk to your provider and say that you don’t want them unless it’s absolutely necessary or you decide you want one. If my doctor had given me a good reason then I would have considered it based on what she said.

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I’ve written in my birth plan I don’t want internals and not to be asked if I want one either. If I choose at the time to go for one then that’s my choice, but I feel they are looked at as “mandatory” for a lot of women

I didn’t realise until recently that internal exams were advised/suggested but not required. It’s fine to say no, and the medical team have other ways to check on labour and baby. Tbh it feels barbaric that internal exams are so often given for little/no good reason. So pleased so many mums here have given alternative options, gives the rest of us courage to opt out 👍🏻

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@Tansy Mine were forced on me. They wouldn’t give me the epidural until they did all the internals. After 4 nurses/techs did the exams back to back they concluded they still didn’t know how dilated I was. Therefore, is it a women’s choice really if they threaten not to give you the epidural if you decline them? P.s. The MD never checked once. I agree they are not necessary but can you handle the pain if they refuse to give you an epidural unless you do them?

@Monica I think you had a particularly bad experience and so of course there are anomalies. I’m sorry you had to go through that

The internal exams are the worst. I was induced and you don’t have the option to opt out if you are getting induced. Unless you want to go straight to a c section. They have to put a pessary in to start you off. Then they had to check it after 24 hours etc and put another one in if needed. Everyone I knew from NCT ended up having a dr delivery and couldn’t or didn’t end up in the midwife centre. I also remember asking the midwife to check how far I was along during the birth, because I was getting a lot of contractions and it was bloody painful by this point. It a great journey giving birth and loved every minute, some people have easy births and others, things just happen that you have no control over, you lose all dignity and you get poked and prodded some much that it all blurs into one. But at the end of the day you get to meet your beautiful baby and you forget everything else.

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@ALL For natural labor as well they are mandatory and not an option. Therefore, not sure how people are saying they have/had a choice/option to decline them? How do you go about declining them when they don’t give you that option? Anyone that has been successful in declining them and not needing to get them please advice. Very curious, how did your experience go? How did you convince them to not do them to you? @Kelly Sucks that induction gives you no opt- out of those. I agree they are the worst.

They aren’t mandatory for a natural birth. This is unfortunately a common misconception and a lot of women don’t know their rights. You always have the right to say no to someone putting their fingers or hand inside you. A good midwife will have other methods of establishing whether you’re in active labour

@Shannon you’re in the UK and the NHS cannot force you to have a physical examination if you don’t want one!

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Yes! I have written in my birth plan that I won’t be accepting one at all 🤗 I just wondered how it goes when you do opt out.

I did, until 20 weeks sadly. I have to do a frequent vaginal ultrasound for a previa

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That is unfortunate, but there are times it is necessary I suppose 🙏🏻

I hate it but I get them weekly now 😭

I wasn’t examined at all with my labour in May. My midwife advised me not to and we just went with the flow. When I needed to push she had a look but that was it. X

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That’s fantastic! I’m hoping for a supportive midwife like that x

I never had any vaginal examination or interventions even in labour (at home)

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That’s very fortunate and exactly what I’m going for 🙏🏻

It’s not fortune really, I just knew my rights and stated them to my midwife from beginning. I’m having another home birth in 3months I’m so exited 🤩 I also had a doula which helps a lot when you’re stress they make sure your birth goes as you wish

How would they know what your dilation is if they don't do this?

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The point is they don’t need to know that, there are other ways to establishing how far along you are, other signs your body gives which are far less intrusive

Like what exactly?

I had one for pre-term labour last week (was 32 weeks). It was no worse than a smear test and I was happy to accept to ensure the best outcome for me and baby, but I was sure to ask about the pros and cons etc before making any decision x

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Exactly!! I think if they explain why it’s important that they do it and allow you to decide, then it’s ok. It seems like a lot of people were given an ultimatum of having an exam or not being admitted to hospital which seems crazy. You were able to give informed consent about it

It’s great you were able to have a think about it beforehand and go ahead with it. I feel during labour there’s enough going on, and added stress will just halt the progress; which is my reasoning for opting out.

This is a really interesting post. I'm pregnant with my second baby but with my first I also opted out of an internal exam. However, they ended up telling me if I wouldn't left them examine me I would have to go home as they don't know how established with labour I was. It really wasn't a pleasant experience and I'm still pretty cross I was put in that position with seemingly no respect for my rights

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There are many different ways to assess how far along a woman is in labour. That’s really unfortunate you were put in that position, and it makes me want to find ways of advocating for women who simply do not want hands inside them.

Internal examination isn’t that bad, compared to contractions!

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I can imagine! But the added stress of it is enough to make my labour slow down; I know my body and my mind, and I want everything to go smoothly as possible

I will be refusing all internal exams unless I decide I want to know what is going on. There are other ways a skilled practitioner can know where you are at in Labour. Such as, how you are talking, a purple line that appears at the top of your but, your breathing etc.

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I am doing the same 🙏🏻 internals are not necessary and can halt the labour progress for some women.

I’m not aware of any examples of internal examinations slowing labour progress

I dislike the internal exams too and often opt out until labour time then I make sure to use gas n air to get through the anxiety of them.

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It feels like added stress and pressure on labouring women, and I don’t agree with it. There are different options to assessing how dilated you are, and at the end of the day these internals are only estimated guesses at best.

I agree with you 100% Do what you feel comfortable with. Ftm get pressured into all sorts - just remember to always advocate for yourself or get you someone who will.

When I had the pessary induction, the midwife gave me a sweep without asking. I felt this was very intrusive. I was happy to have it but I do think that I should have been asked or even told she was going to do it.

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Needless to say I won’t be having any type of induction this time!

Oh wow! That’s so wrong; they really do need to ask you before doing any of that.

I’m probably going to give you some unwanted advice but i strongly suggest you take the internal exams whilst in labour, they are extremely useful for seeing the progress you’re making and also to see the position that baby is in to ensure both you and baby are safe, also they may have to attach a clip to the top of baby’s head to monitor the heart rate, please please speak to a midwife before you refuse any internal examinations, they can literally be life savers

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You might be low risk now but anything can happen in labour Also it’s not an educated guess, there’s a reason you have to get to 10 centimetres to push, the birth canal will be too narrow and you can risk really bad tears if you push before 10cm, please speak to a midwife about this, they may be able to offers a safe alternative but they will also be able to educate you on the risks and possible benefits

I’m an extremely low risk pregnancy, so there is no cause for concern on either side. I understand they can be helpful for some women, but monitoring progress can be done in different ways than using hands to make what is, essentially, an estimated guess. It’s entirely down the to the individual and I don’t want my labour progress halted.

I didn’t know I was in established labour till I was checked. I thought it was maybe braxton hicks and almost didn’t take my stuff to the hospital with me. When the nurse examined me I was 5 cm dilated and my waters were bulging. My baby was born a few hours later, and if I hadn’t have gone to the hospital to be checked it could have worked out very differently! I completely understand anxiety (I hate needles and refused any non essential) but this was my first baby and I honestly thought I was going to be in labour for hours and hours and probably be over my due date. But it didn’t work out at all like that for me, baby was born with a short labour and on his due date. My point is every labour is different and if like me you might not realise how close to birth you actually are xxx

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Wow! That’s an awesome birth story; sounds like you had a good experience. I think if I get there and change my mind, then that’s on me; I just don’t want to feel I HAVE to get internally checked. It makes me sooooo uncomfortable 😭 if I make the conscious decision to have one when I’m relaxed and in the zone, I might; but if I’m having a hard time with staying calm I want to be left alone.

I understand that! I think that’s how I felt about the whole needle/epidural thing! On paper the birth was good, but it happened so quickly it was overwhelming and intense, I didn’t have any pain relief except for gs and air and the bottle ran out 😂 and then the cord was wrapped around his neck so he was basically pulled out of me from the shoulders! Crazy intense experience and not at all what I was expecting! My advice would be to go in with as much of an open mind as possible, and your body will know what it wants/needs and when xx

It’s funny that you mentioned this! I literally asked my midwife if she was going to do one on me two days ago! She said the same thing it’s not mandatory and it doesn’t do anything except for making mom uncomfortable. It makes so much sense considering I was 3 cm dialated my last pregnancy for 3 weeks!!! And ended up having to be induced at 42 weeks. Honestly once I had known I was 3 cm dialated I feel like it caused me nothing but stress and anxiety as I was worried I’d be going into labor any day. I’m glad she doesn’t do them too! I would prob opt out too anyway!

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I never heard of the purple line method I’ll have to look into that!

This is the thing; they are NOT beneficial to mum or baby! I understand sometimes it might be necessary but in the overall spectrum of labour/birth, they don’t add anything to the process. I will be asking for the Purple Line method to be used.

I didn’t have any my second time because it was a planned cesarean

Hi!!! So, I have this same fear. I am a sexual abuse survivor and I am extremely uncomfortable with any internal examinations. I started by finding a midwife that I was very comfortable with. I delivered at a birth center and the director was a wonderful, intelligent hippie mom that I was able to create a great bond with. I was extremely transparent with her about my fears and she did a great job respecting them. We avoided any internal exams where we could. I was overdue with my babe and in prodromal labor. I was almost to the 2 week mark, where I would have had to transfer to a real hospital. With my permission, my midwife did a membrane sweep and eventually had to break my water to speed things up. Since she knew my history, she was very slow and gentle, talked me through each step of what she was doing and reminded me to tell her to stop if I wanted her to. This was helpful as it kept me connected to my body and reminded me that I was in charge of the situation.

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This is great to know! I’m in the same boat as you, which is why I don’t want them. I am completely open and ready for any scenario to come forth, but I think keeping my mind on Plan A and working towards my ideal birth is the way to go for now. Any unexpected mishaps is outlined in my birth plan on what I agree to be done. Sounds like you had an amazing midwife, I hope I get the same.

( Sorry this is so long 😅) Unfortunately I had some complications after birth and had excessive bleeding. I could not urinate on my own and needed a catheter. This was the worst part, because my midwife left to sleep (verrrrry long labor) and I had one that I was unfamiliar with. The bleeding was from a partially retained placenta, and I eventually needed to have someone essentially reach inside and remove it. This was not optional. You can hemorrhage if it is not removed. My midwife did it and I was given laughing gas for the pain. She again talked me through it. This could have been VERY traumatic, but she actually had me laughing and extremely relaxed during the process! (Thanks laughing gas 🤣) Communication and building a good relationship is key!!! You may not have this “worst case scenario” but it is good to be prepared. I felt loved and cared for and this made my experience not only easier, but something that helped me to grow.

I’m always given the option regarding cervical checks as they really don’t mean anything. I’m almost 39 weeks and haven’t had one yet. I may get one at 40 weeks if I haven’t gone into labor by then.

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I think it’s great we are given the option 🙏🏻

I had a couple during labor but that’s cause I decided I wanted to know. It ended up helping me but originally I had planned to have none

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Sometimes we can change our mind at the last minute!

They can usually tell by doing an ultrasound and then they make. Recommendation if they see anything concerning .

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OF course. But, keep in mind Sometimes not all option are needed for your specific pregnancy . And as a DR their job is to also make sure they don't overwhelm the patient with excess information .

I think it’s important for women to be told every option available to them 🙏🏻

What?!?! Ur telling me they didn’t have to stick their hand up?!?!!! I’m madddd lol they did it to me like 5 times it was so uncomfortable at least I know if I have any other children wish I would’ve seen this post sooner

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@Alyssa it’s your body your choice- you aren’t forced to have any internal exams.

Only allow them if at due date or in labor. I was fortunate my OB only did 1st cervical exam at due date. Also it wasnt bad. My OB is female as were the other docs that check me during labor (i was sent to induction and delivered in 19 hrs) so idk if female OBs make exams more tolerable or I just had luck.

I’m so glad I found this thread! It’s the thing I’m most scared about with giving birth. I really struggle with smear tests, they said it’s because my cervix is high up which makes it more uncomfortable. I’m definitely going to try to avoid exams as much as i can! Xx

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Always seek out your options!

Just curious as can see you are studying to be a midwife how would u feel about doing internals on others does that not bother you ?

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No it doesn’t bother me! But I am an advocate for using other methods before internals. My point in this post is a lot of women aren’t told their options, and that’s outrageous.

Yeah I understand I didn’t know u could say no to internals

I opted out of internal exams throughout and in labour too. 👍

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It’s good to hear there are several women who chose the same path as me!