Birth without a support person

I will have an almost 2 year old when I deliver and we decided that she could stay at the hospital with us and only be with someone else while I'm actually delivering because I have never been away from her over night and I don't want to start any time soon :(

Personally I am surprised that your partner doesn't want to be present for the birth of his second child? How does he feel about your preference?

I firmly believe no support is better than bad support, no one needs stressful inlaws during that already stressful day, but even in the comfort of my own home I was grateful to have one person with me who was definitely on my side and would speak up for me if anything went wrong while I was screaming and distracted by pain or so exhausted I couldn't focus on anyone talking. And if I'd had to go to the hospital, having an advocate would have been even more important to me. I was grateful that my midwife had a whole plan in place for if I'd had to go to the hospital at the last minute, where the midwife would come with me and deal with doctors on my behalf and make sure my wishes were being respected, and if my baby was already born, a midwife assistant would stay home with baby and the new dad to make sure they're taken care of and supported so I can just focus on myself and not worry. We didn't end up needing it, but it was reassuring to know support was available if needed.

@Charlotte I just wanted to point out how strong and confident you sound. And must be. It gives me alot of strength. My husband doesn't tell jokes and is not the type to show that much comfort. He s a great guy. But nothing like we see on TV. TV really made it out to be like men know what there doing there so. Comforting when the reality is its not the truth. We do this. Women take control. I have to rely on myself for most things. Including cooking even when I can barely stand. I thought my mother was going to help. Me too, but she bailing. She juts told me she has a hernia and can't stand. Apparently this was known to her from September and she never told me. I think it's becuae I didn't want my dad here. I don't know how I'll feel afterwards breast feeding, my father has habits that bother me. Like trying to get chummy W my husband while I'm speaking. And I think my mother juts doesn't want to be without him. I'll have to buy foods that I can freeze and I've already started to freeze my own soups

@Chelsea did it help the laughing gas. I was thinking to have this and epidural. I really want to avoid pain and an tears. I'm on okra water right now. Trying to make this a slippery slope. I love what has been said. I feel the same way. I have not had my baby yet. But in the end. It's up to us and our creator. Moms, we have to be string for everyone.

You do what you need to to feel comfortable. 💯

Currently pregnant with my first, and considering it

My partner has a hospital phobia from being stabbed 9 times when he was 18. I was induced, had 27 hours of labour and then an emergency c section He stayed all of 1 hour during my labour .... You know what it was so peaceful, put on my tunes did some colouring was so calm 😂😂😂

It was me, an RN, and a doctor trying to deliver 3 babies at once. I took a 10mg valium and a local for the episiotomy.

My last birth I did not have anyone with me since my husband had to stay home and take care of our 4 and 2 year old and honestly I was not upset at all time away from my other two and some nice relax time only down fall is that my husband and daughters did not get to see their son or baby brother until I left the hospital due to covid

I chose to have no one with me I knew. Just the midwives. Personally I found it much more relaxing on my own, no one to annoy me, and I could just have me time. X

I didn’t have anyone in the room ( ambulance) and I am still upset about it today. My son had a lot of problems at birth and was in hospital during Covid for a month where we couldn’t have visitors

We had an issue with the birth of my son, so eve. If it's just someone in your life you trust, I would always suggest having one in person of YOURS in the room with you. If not for my no after being witness to everything, we would have more answers and maybe some unfortunate situations could have been avoided.

I gave birth on my own for my second baby as my husband was with my oldest baby as she was so attached couldn’t leave her for someone else to baby sit as i dnt have support from my in laws nd it’s very hard moment for me but we got thru it i saw my daughter after a week becauz my pregnancy was higher risk preclemencia I had baby at 33 weeks she was 4 pounds I have a lot of complications they kept me I had to beg the dr to send me home after I saw my daughter on video call nd she started to cry tht was hit the door for me wen I got home I saw my daughter it was the best moment she was crying nd laughing to see me nd I was like I’m home u r safe ❤️

I was In labour for 10 hours all by myself with little to no nurses checking in on me until I was at 7 cms. ( partner made it when she was nearly out. Because he reckoned hed go home to sleep because she WONT come that night or morning lol) to be honest I preferred doing it alone ( being induced) I felt like I was more relaxed than anything.

For this exact reason, we went for a home birth. For a home birth you need a second adult in the house in case you have to go to the hospital so they can look after the children. I had my mum and my husband there. I birthed in the early hours of the morning and the children were in there beds. Worked out perfectly for us. If and when I have another. I will be going for the home birth option again, if I am able to x

My husband doesn’t know this but honestly I would of prefer for him to just be home or outside the room while I was in labor. There was too much going on and while having contractions pain I just needed to be alone haha he was getting on my nerves lol (he wasn’t doing anything bad or anything he was just there trying to be there for me) but like you said in the last bit of your comment that you are very independent and so am I so I just needed my space. I will say that once they brought the baby back to the room I did need his help bc I was super tired and couldn’t keep Myself awake.

Maybe ask a friend if not? I honestly don’t suggest birthing completely alone especially in a hospital setting.

I would definitely consider looking for a doula! I offer packages specific to just birth attendance 💜 I believe there are a few out here who do.

Hi lovely I did, my babies dad isn’t involved so my friend was my birthing partner but she had to leave at 8pm and I have my baby at just gone midnight. I found the midwives in with me we’re supportive. I had people offering to come to me and be with me but I was in full blown labour and truth be told being on the gas and air I was out of it anyway so didn’t really pay attention to what was going on around me xx

I'm going to be honest, i had my support person there when I got my c section but if he wasn't there it wouldn't a made a damn difference lol

With my youngest who's now 18 months, I chose to have no one there with me. It was much easier for my husband to stay at home and look after our 3 children. If I'm honest I found it much better on my own, no one trying to annoy me, no one trying to make me laugh, just me on my own in my own world doing things how I would like to do them. I found it much more relaxing on my own x

I gave birth alone with my 2nd child, not by choice but because my husband was in DR and I had no other choice but to be alone in the delivery room

Hello sweet, I did with my first. It was just me and my midwife. It actually made it so much calmer and easier, I was able to focus on my body and all the things it was doing at that point. It truly made that experience pretty incredible

your a very thoughtful person for wanting your partner to be at home with your other boy ♥️ my partner and i fought even during labor and the days before and i didnt want to have him present in the room during birth . but i cant imagine doing it alone because even when i was going through PPD he was my support system but my depression made me yet still feel alone .

You could look into a local doula!!

With my first her father was in the room with my twins it was 2020 and Covid was a big thing so I was completely alone for them it was very scary because my “twin a” was born not breathing and it took 3 minutes to get him breathing again, I refused to give birth to “twin b” until I heard my baby cry but the second I did I was glad my dr was ready because I pushed twice and my second baby was born. I didn’t get to see or touch them for 6 hrs again because Covid was so bad.

I had to leave my ex for domestic abuse reasons while pregnant. I’m 35, I had to give birth alone and raise my son for the last two years I actually preferred it alone tbh because you just focus on yourself and not worry about anyone else it would’ve been nice for reassurance but the nurses were brilliant and despite the usual curves that births have we were both ok

With my one month old I was alone worse experience. my husband couldn’t be there bcuz my 3 yr old wasn’t allowed in smh no matter how much I kept thinking of him I knew he was in great hands being with his dad.

I’m terrified of the new measures and drs these days. They are set in their mind of what they have planned for you with any excuse for a C-section or induction. So I decided to have the baby at home. I hired a personal support/doula and I would never change that. She helped me prepare mentally and physcially for birth. My fiancé was not the best support person but she guided him and also helped me through pain- and motivated me during my labour. No pain meds no tearing no interventions. It was beautiful to be at home resting after and being taken care of. I have been a victim of postpartum depression in the past and I feared I would go through the same thing again. I’m going to say the care during and after my labour contributed my healing and it’s been a blessing. But If I’m speaking truly- when you’re in those last bearing moments - you really are by yourself. You are the one doing the work. And good to have the right people to help once baby has arrived. You can do this mama!

I have a Doula and support me everytime. Doctors are so angry and push a c-section all the time. Finally do that without my permission.😕 I never see my baby and then look at him in my room.

I had covid so i had to give birth alone without my partner (he was positive too and stayed home with my other child too) it was hard but thanks god i had a good midwife 🙏

G go h vc do CD

Yes my last baby I was completely alone because my husband had our other two children my 3 and almost 2 yr old. It was fine though got to 6 cm with almost no pain then it hit but luckily I was able to do it without any pain medicine and was able to go home two days later.

With my 1st son I didn’t have a birthing person or support from family. It was just me and the health care people.. tbh it was more special that way as I was able to focus so much better on us

I had my mother but only because she wanted to be there. I preferred to give birth alone. And absolutely could have. I went prepared with a written birth plan & my midwife happened to be there. I am an SMBC so I walked into this journey independently & am okay doing things that way! You’ve got this!

I would suggest a doula and possibly look into a home birth or a birthing center. With a birthing center you get to go home just a few hours later!

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I have a Doula and support me everytime. Doctors are so angry and push a c-section all the time. Finally do that without my permission.😕 I never see my baby and then look at him in my room.

I know this was posted a while ago,but have u done a birthing center? I've never heard of that?

With my first I was basically alone.. my sons bio dad was asleep the entire time and when it was time for me to push the nurse made him hold my leg and watch lol she yelled at him 😂 but he left the day I got discharged from the hospital 😒 with my second baby my husband (different guy lol) had to drop our 3 yr old off at a friends house and so I labored by myself for awhile and then I stuff started going downhill with my baby (he was in distress) so when my husband finally got there they were about to rush me in for an emergency c section. So he barely made it in time lol I feel like the nurses are better support ppl then our partners/spouses cuz the nurses know what to do and how to help you through the pain where as our partners kinda just stand there like "uhhhhhh what do I do"

I labored alone and preferred it to my husband who is not my style of support. What I needed was not what he was capable of no matter how much he tried. I also was in a birthing center and I had my mother and him there. But I shut them out of the bathroom where I delivered my baby in the shower I would have preferred to be alone. However, I wish I had pictures.

I had to alone. Not by choice. Due to mew covid policies cus myself and partner aren't vaxxed he couldn't stay. I also jad to stay almost 2 days alone without him or anyone. Again cus im not vaxxed I wasn't allowed to leave my room for water or food. So wasn't the greatest experience. I'd like to add I also did a covid test which came back negative and still wasn't allowed to do anything.

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That's so frustrating. I was so worried about this because me and hubs aren't vaxxed either. I was even doing some shopping on home birthing pools because I had convinced myself that if they didn't let him in the room, I would give birth at home. Fortunately it didn't come to that. I tested negative so we were able to roam the floor/hospital.

Thats was my situation. And i chose to do it alone. I had two nurses with me. My husband dropped me at the hospital at 8 at night . I was 5 cm dilated. I requested the dr in the er (because in canada they send you back if you are not in active labour) and explained my situation and admitted me. My baby was born at 2 o clock that night.

Yes I got rushed to hospital and was 9cm when I arrived my waters were broken and without intentionally pushing my body did it on its own . My partner was on his way but missed it, where my labour was quick I was hemridging everything was a bit of a panic I didn't have any breaks between contractions so had no time to think about being alone . He was calling me but I didn't even know my phone was ringing and it was on the bed with me . I am now pregnant again but left him due to dv moved 80 miles away he doesn't drive or know where I am . So as I'm in a new area don't know anybody have no family I'm in contact with so I'm doing this completely alone . I'm going to see my midwife this week and going to speak to her about getting a dula so I have someone there other then medical staff xx

Due to COVID restrictions, and us having a very active and attached 5 year old, I have done the whole of my second pregnancy more or less by myself. The only appointment husbot joined me in was the gender scan. I went into hospital myself, as someone needed to stay with the 5 year old. I was more at peace this way, and was very well looked after at the hospital. My birth went very quickly anyway (30 mins labouring I hospital, 5 mins pushing!), And I had a wonderful midwife and student look after me the whole time.

A friend

I contracted Covid in the last few weeks of pregnancy and ended up having to be induced as he wasn’t moving. I was heart broken to start with, we both was. Even our family was all heartbroken for us, as they know how close me and my husband are. but during the labour I just got in with it. Lots of face time calls. Wasn’t that bad at all! For me the worst but was I just wanted Mike there straight after but he wasn’t allowed in hospital x

I didn't birth alone but I labored alone the whole 6 hours I had my gma who was my support person for my other pregnancies on video chat so talk me thru it all again

I did alone. Not by choice. My parents passed a few year back. I don’t make friends easily so I have none (didn’t have anyone to tell I was pregnant to) and the dad hadn’t spoke to me since I was a month pregnant. It was an eye opening experience. But very doable. I had 1 dr and 1 nurse in the room with me. Labored alone and drove myself to my hospital 2 hrs away arriving at the hospital at 7 cm. My mind was completely on my baby. I shouldn’t have had to do it alone but I came out stronger. 🥰

Another option could be to have a student midwife

A Doula! :D

I had a homebirth for both my boys, the second time I went through labour by myself cause my husband was with our 16MO and I didn’t want him to be scared. It was not a problem at all, I was focused doing my own thing anyway. You got it!