Relationship with husband postpartum

As women and mothers we often facilitate talking about feelings. My husband and I communicate often. He’s receptive. He grows. I listen. It doesn’t hurt I’m trained in therapy. I help him untangle his thoughts and it allows him to breath and be a better dad and husband.

Some days I’m off and need a moment. Husbands sometime read this as anger. It’s not. We’re not responsible for our husband’s happiness. I’m learning to say no when my inner voice is begging me to. Learning to not create an unreal expectation of only giving. Learning to share when something bothers me (even if it creates a bigger issue). Learning that complaining and expressing negative feelings doesn’t mean I take my husband’s hard work for granted. My feelings are valid no matter how hard he works. Am I right?

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So true ✨ we have to give others and ourselves compassion especially on our hard days. Regardless of circumstances our feelings are valid and we have the right to express them and feel safe while doing so 💜 I’m in the same boat. It’s a journey for sure. But fulfilling to see the growth.

There is this French book : “I stop complaining “ which is rooted in non violent communication and it basically says: emotions and feelings tell us something about our needs but if after listening to our needs we start complaining we actually get further away from getting our needs met. I personally think that sometimes i express my need for empathy (things are hard when big changes happen!) by complaining and I’m now trying to switch to explicit request like :” I don’t feel ok right now, would you please give me some empathy?” Sometimes my husband needs empathy as well and can’t give it to me, so if I can I make him go first or I just meditate.

I 👍 agree

What are those negative feelings?

Beautiful family!! I sometimes just say I’m not able to talk about ‘x’ yet. He’s a waterfall, but every word I utter is taxing to me.

True this! expression is key

You’re totally right!! After 5 years, I am still struggling with all of that.
Sometimes it jst seems like the end, but I’m not giving up. ✨

I agree with everything you said! On top of that, I feel like when I share what bothers me and how some things make me feel, it helps my husband open up about things that bother him that I wasn’t aware of.

I also believe that with a few exceptions (abuse or cheating) if at some point you were truly in love with your spouse and you fall out of love, it is always possible to fall back in love if both parts put in the effort to make it work

Oh man, you got me with "not set an unreal expectation of only giving". I have definitely done that this past year and am now really struggling to get my life back. It's not easy, I'm learning to be more demanding and feel less guilty because this year I have sacrificed so much for my family - especially my career and sanity. All we can do is keep trying to communicate, and hope for the best.

Loving this

in our community

Am I just fucked?

I need a new car. I purchased my current honda civic in 2024 after my car was totaled in an accident. Seemingly there was nothing wrong with it. I went alone to the dealership because my dad lived out of state and my bf wasn’t available anyways. Couple months down the road, the cars sensors start going berserk. We got it checked at the honda dealership and with our own family known mechanic and no problems came up. It was just wack. Fast forward to know, the car has about 155k miles. We bought it at 125k, I know STUPID CHOICE. Here’s why i’m ultra fucked though. I’ve been a SAHM for the last year, my baby is 7 months old. I’m starting a part time job next month but literally at 10 hours a week. That’s the most I can do as I do not want to put my baby in daycare and do not have any family that can watch him for an extenuous amount of time everyday.

Besides the fact that the honda civic is kind of uncomfortable to fit the huge car seat, the stroller snd stroller seat attachment. which i don’t wanna have to repurchase and buy a smaller one. The car is SHIT. The car runs weird right off the bat anyone will say that when they drive. The engine light is on. There must be a hole or something in the AC unit because the AC is broke and everytime we put the AC gas in it it ends up leaking within 1-2 weeks. AC gas is kinda expensive to be refilling it that often. My dad doesn’t think I should put any money into this car to fix it. We still owe about 3k. We want to trade it in however my parents think that I should get a NEW car since this used car gave us such bad faith. Mind you, when I got it and for a couple months after, none of these problems were there :/ I drove from NJ to BOSTON a few months after getting it and the emergency sensors went off and the car was shaking bad and i had to pull over. Never found out what that was about.

I have 5k to put down. BTW, my parents are heavily involved because i’m 24 and I live with them (me and my bf) in hopes to move out when we have the funds for that. I don’t wanna ask my BF for any money. I know he’ll just throw it back in my face down the line during an argument because he thinks a paycheck is the extent of his contribution as a partner and father. Whole other story. My parents can’t afford to throw any money at a new car. My dad thinks I should get a new car that’s relatively recent like 2023+. Not for the aesthetic but because he thinks insurance rates might be better for a newer vehicle. They want me to ask my BF to contribute since it would be a family car for us. That he would also be able to ride around in when he’s not driving to work in his own car. I dont wanna downgrade to just 1 car because he goes into work incredibly early and I dont wanna have to wake my baby up at 4am and take him to drop his dad off. I also just need my own car because Im starting a part time job soon. I could just use my part time dollars to pay it off but what if I’m stuck with a car note in the event anything happened with this job? My bf and his family suggested we buy a car from enterprise because it’d always gone well.. however i told him there’s a lot of risk in buying a RENTAL CAR. and he said there’s also a lot of risk in buying a used car from a dealership. He said you’re NOT getting a new car. a new car to me isn’t about the aesthetics, it’s about the security that we wont have the same issue we’ve had with the used car i bought in 2024 which was seemingly great when we first got it.

Anyways, I don’t drive my car anymore. Because of all its sensors and issues. But it’s not practical to keep having to use my parents car to get around. I don’t know what to do, if there is anything TO do. Seems like i’m just backed into a corner. My honda is just losing value as it sits in the drive way, already is very low value due to the shit miles it has.

I get I should just maybe lean on my BF as he did agree to help with the down payment and the car note but I just don’t want to. He will throw it back in my face. That’s for certain. I also don’t wanna make a poor financial decision that’s gonna effect me and my baby in the long run.

Baths while pregnant

I’ve had baths throughout my pregnancy. I don’t want advice on that. I wondering how other women who have baths while pregnant lay in the bath? Is it considered laying on your back? I’m 5’6 so my feet just touch the end 😂

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Even friends in real life haha ! I want to make more connections. 🤍 I lean more liberal, nothing against conservatives but I would have more in common with people who think like me, if that’s you, hit me up! 🤍

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Hey y'all I wanted to see if there were any other mamas here in TX that need more mama friends I'm out in Lubbock

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Hi Ladies, if I’m being honest making friends has always been a struggle of mine. Being straightforward and honest , I’ve slowly experienced myself turning into that girl that only hangs out with her husband and honestly I’m getting bored of him lol . Looking for open-minded , understanding women who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Im looking for women who can teach me things and be open to learn new things by doing things outside of their comfort zones positively of course. Simply looking for sister-ships , for family.

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