The one that didn’t sit well with me was “Birther” instead of “Birth Mom.” I can see how “Birth Mom” could make the list... but “Birther” makes me think of farm stock. 🐄🐖🐑🐓Otherwise, I could really see the benefit of changing some, others didn’t cause concern for me, but trying to put myself in other’s shoes...
The truth is for loss or deviation from what you expected in birth, any differences will echo as painful. The words don't matter though the connotation contributes. The word choice here doesn't change the reality of what happened. Focusing on changing the vernacular of medical field is not as important as changing our own perceptions about birth or having babies through education and experience.
Yikes... some ppl get really angry and stressed when they realise that the current terminology doesn’t suit everybody 😬 Like... if you don’t need terms to change then keep on using what works for you but maybe just be a bit less volatile over some ppl wanting different language. Their experiences don’t change yours so don’t try to devalue theirs when they want to use different words to explain something 🤷♂️ some of the ideas for possible new terms work for me, some don’t, but whatever ppl wanna use to describe their journey is fine by me because it’s their experience not mine... so instead of mocking or attacking people who find this glossary useful, maybe just go “you know what? They can do them, I can do me. That’s fine.” 👌
Shaming? It seemed more like they were just proudly announcing coming up with alternatives for ppl who would like them and don’t feel certain language adequately reflects their experiences therefore aleviating any emotional discomfort they may have felt with some of the terminology currently used. If ppl feel comfortable with the current terminology then they can just carry on using it but for some ppl it’s not appropriate or helpful.
Ok but if they want to change the words why does there need to be an announcement somewhat shaming people and making it uncomfortable to continue using those words
So many of these are already neutral. And some of them are outright offensive! I am sorry! Full time mom and not childcarer. Could be a nanny. And fed is best?! Fed what?! Could be fed anything. Breast is best ALWAYS. It’s understandable that some can’t lactate and it should never be held against them, but even they know that breast is best and if not, formula and donated breast milk can do. Jeez! Woke-ism is going too far
So I had a geriatric pregnancy... I don’t care if that’s what it’s called it is what it is. Why are people so sensitive.... I really hope peanut doesn’t get political.
They haven’t always been that way. You’re more at risk at that age of having issues .. much like people between 60-70 are more likely to have issues ... hence the term geriatric.. it’s not horrible ...
I remember when I had my miscarriage the phrase "Products of conception" being the coldest punch straight to my heart term I ever heard. Some of it was the state of shock I was in I'm sure but can some thing please be done with that term. It's horrific and yes I know it's just scientific but it sounds so heartless.
Spontaneous abortion needs to GO. That phrase alone can send wannabe Mom's right down the path of guilt, self deprecation and depression. I was sent home at 16 with a folder explaining my "spontaneous abortion" and how to go about addressing my fertility problems if it happened again
I thought that at first but reading through the definitions and terms found much of the new wording more accurate and easier to understand. I always found it kind of weird how failure to thrive is sued to describe babies who don’t gain weight quickly as well as old people who lose weight .... and the term geriatric pregnant is probably outdated . Someone who is 35 isn’t geriatric is any other way .
Geriatric mothers should be renamed after myself. Irreverent mothers, for when you get to our age, your so tired, you give 0 fecks about anything (apart from the health of your baby) 🤣 mum guilt? Nope, cos everyone’s survived the feckin day, with no childhood trauma inflicted somehow 🤷🏻♀️🤣 we don’t care about bottle or boob or feckin organic free trade nappies. We just want to make it to bedtime and bath time without swearing too much 🤷🏻♀️
I'm kind of offended by "full time childcarer". I feel like rumba robot now . Stay at home moms are important, valuable and matter. What is the point of renamimg it ?
@Becky 👑🐍 I’m so sorry you had to be in that situation. We should never have to feel bad for the way we feed our babies! So glad your daughter is happy and healthy now 😊
@Zoe glad you got over the Gestapo as well! You do what's best for your child, you're a good parent in my opinion
@Sam H ✨ oh wow that’s really interesting to find out about the US system! Here in the uk I think it’s different as when I was in hospital for a few days last year having surgery upon check-in they asked me if I had a preferred name other than my legal name (I did, Sam is not my legal name, it’s my chosen name) and then they took note of my gender identity when I came out about it. I spent the whole time there with correct name and gender and it was a very nice experience (apart from having to have surgery which was not so nice 😂🙈) but it’s scary when you’re queer cos every time you come out to ppl you put yourself in a vulnerable position and when I’ve been pregnant in the past I’ve felt very vulnerable already so not always had the headspace to make myself even more vulnerable x
@Sam totally understand! I wish we had this freedom in the states. It is so hard reading a patients name as a male but the patient wanting to be called something else. It’s heartbreaking honestly because there is no way around it in the states—we enjoy flexing our patriarchal ways of life 🙄—I wish we could do more. I think this is a great first step!
@Becky 👑🐍 I completely agree... I had to stop breastfeeding for my own mental health, but because of basically ALL healthcare workers reciting “breast is best” I felt awful for stopping.. one doctor even said “not enough people nowadays keep up with breastfeeding” Any way your baby is fed so long as they are fed is best!
I felt like such a failure after not being able to breast feed my first daughter that it led to post natal depression... I called the midwifery team "The Breastfeeding Gestapo"!
@Zoe my daughter was in neonatal and I had to leave her there after making the decision to let her be formula fed. In my state I managed to knock over the last tiny amount of breast milk I managed to get. If ANYONE wants to say that doesn't mess with people's mental health then they're lucky to have never been in the situation and should stop being so flippant because they don't agree.
Liking what I've seen so far xx
Some of the comments on here are saying “breast fed isn’t outdated” but the glossary doesn’t state “breast fed” is outdated, it says “breast is best” is outdated and instead should be “fed is best”... or am I missing something? X
@Zoe if I had continued to try and breastfeed my premature baby, she would be dead. No two ways about it. So it's not best. Its a choice and nobody should be judged even if they choose straight away to bottle feed. Its not offensive, its a cold hard truth as far as I'm concerned
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As a non binary person I really appreciated the addition of the term “birther”. Thank you x
Yes, definitely this! And if the hospital double checks on their forms then it means I don’t have to keep doing a whole awkward coming out thing every time I get pregnant and also means I don’t have to secretly worry that maybe they’ll be intolerant and give me less care because they “don’t agree” with my “choices” even though the way one identifies with gender and sexuality is never a choice 🤦♂️ x
@Sam I think it's amazing this is included. I think we should be able to choose how we're referred to on our notes and it's so easy to see. I love being a 'mother' but not everyone likes it. If you apply for a job they ask your prefered name. It wouldn't be difficult to do the same with hospitals 🙄 It's not about being 'woke' or 'awkward' it's about making you feel comfortable and heard! And it's not bloody difficult!
Birther?Bio mum or tummy mummy are the common terms among those who adopt not birther that is such an awful way to word it. To be fair call them whatever you like it all means the same thing. I dont see the issue I wouldn't be offended about most things however the one that I would is the one you have changed to. Birth mum is ok bit birther is awful. I would never refer to my sons bio mum as birther its disrespectful.
it’s not offensive to be inclusive, Dawn.
"Birther" is an umbrella term, it doesn't mean to exclude your favourite way to say it. However, it does includes those people who birth their own children but don't identify as mothers... For example trans men and non-binary folk ☺
I think some of these are trying *too* hard to please. My daughter doesn't have a "birth difference". A "birth difference" is something like hair or eye colour imo. My daughter's heart literally didn't form properly. It is quite literally defective. When referring to defects and disability it's very important the people who are affected have a say. Otherwise we risk turning things into even more of a taboo. There's nothing wrong with having a birth defect or a disability. Let's not change the terms to appease the woke brigade🤷🏽♀️
I disagree if I'm honest. It's one of those where when you ask the people affected what they want, the vast majority don't want patronising terms like differently abled or different abilities because it gives the impression it's *not* okay to have apart of you not working
I think that heart defect is OK, because it's specific, but birth defect suggests the whole baby is defective.
Thank god for that after my miscarriage it was extremely upsetting seeing spontaneous abortion!!
Thanks for taking the time to help drive progress towards more inclusive and less judgemental language. It might not make everyone happy and it might not be the perfect new term for everything, but I think some of these terms absolutely need to be separated from their patriarchal origins and it's a great step in the right direction 😊💪👏
I was only offended when I heard the words "JUST a stay at home mom" with hard emphasis on the just.
@Team Peanut will this be expanded on? I feel like there were a lot of terms that were suggested (because the woman took offense) not included. You’ve even stated Thousands came forward—I doubt a glossary with less than 100 phrases are the ONLY terms found offensive. By omitting terms you have played a part in devaluing a woman’s negative experience “during the most sensitive and vulnerable times in women’s lives”. If I’m honest I am a little disappointed with this campaign.
@Angelica that’s why I am asking if this will be expanded on. Nothing in the statements above or at the link indicate or say this is a start. The list was already complied by app users and women from social media. Other than coming up with an alternate phrase and taking the time for that there wasn’t much work that needed to go into it. From my perspective, I can’t speak for everyone, it comes across that certain phrases took priority (why would anyone’s experience be more valuable or important than someone else’s), that another phrase couldn’t be thought of so “it is what it is” , or lastly it didn’t fit an agenda—I love peanut so it really sucks that that is crossing my mind but seeing this campaign roll out that is definitely what is crossing my mind right now.
I'd like the phrase "failure to progress" to go f**k itself 🙌. Dealing with the mental aspect of having to have 2 emergency c sections is hard enough without having it in black and white that I "failed" at the one thing my body is literally MADE to do 😔
@Olga heaven forbid you have to deal with that terminology. Failure to progress, failure to thrive etc. Its all things that make women feel like THEY are the failure. Just because something is accurate, it doesn't make it the best way to say it. Sensitivity in parenthood is lacking and anyone who criticised others for needing it is lacking in compassion
Didn’t realised how many of these common terms have the word failure or incompetent in them! I bet it was a tough challenge to look after your children while recovering from major abdominal surgery, but no one focuses on or gives praise for achieving that. Xx
Very excited to have a copy of this to show doctors at my future appointments 🙌🏼
This is great and there is always room to grow and evolve in all areas of medicine and language..... But who has actually put this together?... some of the terms are already very outdated and so not used and some very American, and others are just completely incorrect.
Yeeesss. I always cringed seeing “product of conception,” on a specimen. And I’ve also wondered if they could have come up with a better name for it. Thank you for this. And also a lot of the terms in the glossary. Can I buy this book somewhere so I can bring it to work and put it on display in the waiting room??? Lololol. Or even just in my living room!?!? Please?
@Mary you can request your own copy if you click the link
I think if you contact them they can get you a copy! It sounds like they are trying to distribute to doctor’s offices.
I like it. Some areas have been made far too PC, trying not to offend anyone I’d assume. 9/10 though!
@Team Peanut In your effort to be “inclusive” with your glossary, I’d like to ask why the change from Stay at Home Mom to Full-Time Childcarer? Am I not a mother full time because I work outside of the home? Oh. Okay. 🙄 Renaming birth plan as “birth preferences”? Fed is best even though medical science has proven breast milk is better for human babies? This is coming from a mom who transitioned to formula from bf. Ridiculous
Amazing! I love it thank you for putting this together!
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I’d rather medical professionals called things for what they are for me, rather than sugar coat to avoid “negativity”. Unfortunately, some things in life are negative and people who are mature enough to have children, should be able to live with that. I hope my doctors will not be using this glossary.
Looking through the glossary I do agree that if used in the delivery room, a few of these are sugar coated though like the long term they coined instead of "fetal distress". If the baby is in distress, I want to know
There's more than one way to call something and it can still be correct and professional. For example, because of the connotation it has, "incompetent" is an unnecessary word to use and there can just be something else that means the same thing without encouraging the woman to feel bad about her body. Infertility is already hard enough as it is.
I hope medical professionals and community adopts these asap
Failure to progress - no can help what there body is doing - so to describe it in this way makes individual feel they are failure
This is amazing!
I love it! Thanks for doing this!
Genuinely can't believe some of these terms are actually used... "Habitual aborter"... Absolutely awful
I think that’s maybe just a suggested term for ppl who might want a gender neutral approach. If ppl want to keep saying birth mom for their own experiences then of course they have every right to. I just think it’s good to be mindful that sometimes words that fit our experiences won’t fit the experiences of others so if they want to call it something else that’s cool too. As a non binary person I appreciated the inclusion of a gender neutral term. Personally I use birth parent rather than birther but it was nice to feel like I had a place at the table too. I think some of these terms work well as suggestions on how to enter conversations neutrally for other people. It’s like when I’m chatting with someone who’s pregnant that I’ve just met. I like to go in neutrally first “wow you must be so excited that in a few months you’ll get to be a parent! 😍” giving a cue for them to either say “yes, I’ve wanted to be a mom for so long” or accept “parent”.