Community Posts, Tips & Support on Pregnancy Loss

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Pregnancy Loss

Don’t judge me pls. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and I don’t know how to feel like I feel nothing.

Now I feel guilty for not feeling bad. But I don’t feel good or bad either. I was excited and baby was planned. But now I just feel nothing. Is this normal

Missed miscarriage

I’ve just been told that I’ve had a missed miscarriage, unfortunately. I was supposed to be 10 weeks, but I was measuring around 6 weeks, so it seems the baby stopped growing a few weeks ago and, sadly, there was no heartbeat.

I’m grateful that my ovaries and everything else looked healthy and normal.

I had a little cry and I’m just feeling really down. This was a planned pregnancy, as I’d been hoping and aiming for that two year age gap.

The hardest part is that I now have to wait another 7 days for a further scan because of NHS policy to confirm everything again. It’s incredibly sad knowing I have to go through another week of this emotionally before they can offer me medical or surgical treatment (or naturally in the meantime)💔

Has anyone gone through something similar?

32 +5 pregnant

So I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old, I literally found out Monday I was 32 +1 pregnant. Had no symptoms the whole pregnancy, was on the pill and having intermittent bleeds which is not uncommon for me as I have pcos so irregular bleeds are normal in my life and not to have a period for months on end is also common for me.

I had weight loss and my stomach hadn’t actually popped until last week which promoted me to do a test. I called my friend who’s a midwife and got booked in pronto, and managed to get a cancelled slot Monday for a scan.
I was not expecting to be told I have 7 weeks which will be more like 5-6 weeks as I need another section, to prepare for another baby. I think in that appointment I felt every emotion going, I swore, cried and hysterically laughed…. And now just keep laughing because what else can I do.
I had got rid of all my sons stuff he had grown out of about 2 weeks ago 🙈 so now I am starting from scratch yet again!

This has been by far the easiest pregnancy but the most shocking, but now I’m in the world of counting kicks and haven’t got a clues what baby’s pattern is because I’ve not felt them for until now 😭

Don’t really know the point to this post, I think it’s more to just get it off my chest!
Sorry for the long post

Periods after miscarriage

I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago , I was wondering when everyone’s cycle returned to normal and they started their period again. I keep getting some cramps but no period just yet

Feeling discouraged

So I had my third miscarriage since December in July that resulted in a D&C because my body wasn’t recognizing the loss. After every other miscarriage, my body would start to ovulate again the next month so I thought my husband and I could try again this month however it’s been nine weeks and I still don’t have my period after my D&C but I’m cramping when I should have my period and now I’m getting worried and it’s starting to really affect me. Now instead of trying to get pregnant again I’m worried that something is wrong. 😔

Recurrent miscarriages but no answers

I’ve now had 2 very early miscarriages and 2 miscarriages at 7/8 weeks. I’m currently pregnant but looks as though it has stopped growing and no heartbeat meaning another miscarriage.

I’ve had multiple tests, blood tests and scans. Partners also had his bloods done and everything has come back normal.

I’ve taken aspirin and progesterone this pregnancy.

The doctor are saying try again and there are no answers and these things happen☹️

Has anyone had this and has any further advice?

2nd miscarriage

I had my 2nd miscarriage. My 1st one was at 7 weeks. My 2nd was at 19 weeks. I just wanted to know for the recurrent miscarriage women how do you go on after a 2nd miscarriage? Especially when my 2nd one was in my 2nd trimester. It’s really surreal and traumatizing. I know I will one day be a mother but it’s just hard for me right now to be optimistic to move on.

1st Miscarriage 😭

Just found out my 11 week old baby stopped growing at 8 weeks 😭 and a heartbeat which can be detected at 6 weeks was absent. 💔

We have a beautiful healthy 20 month old baby girl whom we are beyond grateful for but we were sooo excited to finally continue to grow our family 😭

Yay

Soo hope this stays had 4 miscarriage/ chemicals last year

Feelings

Hi has anyone had one or more miscarriages and now pregnant again but you have no emotions at all during this pregnancy. I’m 6 weeks and 5 days and I don’t feel anything towards this pregnancy. I’m not excited or scared or anything. Not sure if it’s because I have had two miscarriages before this or what.

Subchorionic Hematoma

Has anyone had this before? Currently going through it x

5 weeks and possible going to miscarry? Again!

Found out on the 1st of September with a clear blue digital which said 1-2 weeks. Today, my lines are looking lighter and again the digital said 1-2 weeks, which suggest my HCG isn’t rising as it should be😕 this will be my third loss in a row since July😪
I had a positive feeling about this one as the lines were much darker but now, they seem to be fading. I’m not coping😭 why is my body failing me? I don’t understand. I’ve not had any bleeding yet, do I have the right to be upset?

Silent miscarriage

I am 40. Today I had a 13w dating scan for the first time for our “surprise” baby just to find out that the baby doesn’t have a heartbeat, has lots of nuchal fluids around his neck, down to his spine and around his heart.
My husband is sad, but he went to work (night shift). We are new to this town and I haven’t made any friends yet… my family doesn’t know I was even pregnant… my almost 2 yo little one is unwell with a high fever next to me. I feel so sad and so alone. My body is not showing any signs of miscarriage. I still have nausea and “night sickness”. I just don’t know what to do with myself…

Sharing my miscarriage

I by the book am 11 weeks pregnant but was measuring one week behind. At my 8 week appointment we had heart rate of 165. Two weeks later I had some spotting and they confirmed no heartbeat and I was scheduled for a d&c and that night I passed everything naturally (which was painful and tough). The next day I went in for an ultrasound that confirmed it and I was able to cancel my d&c. This was our first pregnancy and this is so sad…. Also makes me so nervous for next time 😭

Jury in the LC trial

So the jury has been sent back in a deadlock. I'm so conflicted on my opinion about this case, I'm not sure she was in psychosis but don't feel the CW has given enough evidence that it's not a possibility. How/what sealed your opinion on the case? (If you've followed it).

I'm not even entertaining the idea that it was PCs fault.

Pregnancy after miscarriage

Hi im am 37 i have a 10 year old and a 7 year old since having my 8 year old iv had 1 miscarriage at 10 weeks and 3 chemicals all last year any one had a successful pregnancy after somthing like this need hope

Subchorionic Hemorrhage

Mamas, has anybody had SCH and have a good story to tell? Went to the er yesterday bleeding pools of blood and was told I had a large 3cm SCH. Scared out of my mind. My mother passed two years ago, both grandmas died this year, and my godmother. I feel so alone and have no women to speak to about this. Please send me words of encouragement if it worked out well for you.

Wanted to add: went back to er and now it’s measuring 6cm 🙁

Recently diagnosed sub clinical thyroid

Hello, I’ve recently found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant after a missed miscarriage 4 months ago. As part of the testing after my miscarriage I was diagnosed with a subclinical thyroid - TSH 8.34 ml U/L. I was prescribed Levothyroxine (25mg a day) on 3 August to lower this and found out I was pregnant quite soon after. I had blood tests this week and these showed a TSH of 6.37 ml U/L. I have been reading online that the target TSH is <2.5 ml U/L for pregnant women, and that most women need a 30/50% increase in Levothyroxine dose but when I asked my GP they refused to give me an appointment and said they would do another routine blood test in 2 months time. Has anyone else had anything similar and did you get any differing GP advice? I’ve now paid for a private appointment as I’m terrified of another miscarriage if I don’t get this sorted out.

Miscarriage 1 year ago, I finally broke down

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share something quite personal.

I don’t really have friends. I’m very family and business orientated, and somewhere along the way I’ve lost a lot of connections because of it.

I have my partner and a big family, but somehow there are certain things I just cannot talk to them about.

Today my aunt had a phone call from my cousin, who is seven years younger than me, and she said she’s thinking about starting a family.

Normally I would feel happy for her. I do love her. But my heart sank.

And I know that sounds awful, but I think it opened something in me that I have been trying very hard not to look at.

I have been trying for a baby for around five years. The day before hearing that conversation, I had started my period after another negative pregnancy test, and I was already feeling sad. But I think underneath that sadness, I am still grieving my miscarriage far more than I ever admitted to myself.

I lost my baby at around two months.

I had already been bleeding and having pains, and the day before I had gone to the NHS. They sent me home and told me that bleeding in early pregnancy can be normal.

But something in me still didn’t feel right.

So the next day I went to a private clinic because I just wanted someone to check my baby. I wanted reassurance. I wanted to see that everything was still okay.

Instead, while I was there, I started bleeding heavily.

I remember rushing to the hospital with a towel around me because I just kept bleeding, driving like a bullet trying to get there. I had contraction-like pains, I was eventually put on morphine because of how much pain I was in, and then I had to have surgery because my body wasn’t able to let go of the baby naturally.

And somehow, after all of that, I just carried on.

I nodded to the doctors. I cried a little. I left the hospital and told myself, “It’s okay. It wasn’t meant to be.”

My birthday was the next day.

I hugged my family and said the same thing.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t meant to be.”

But today I kept thinking, why did I not scream?

Why did I not completely fall apart?

Why do I always have to be this composed woman who holds everything together?

I think maybe I have always been like that.

I was the oldest. There was no dad around. My mum had an illness, so I felt like I had to be strong for her. I had to be strong for my brother because he looked up to me.

Somewhere along the way, being strong became who I was.

And today I just broke.

I went into the shower and I slammed my hands on the floor while the water poured down and I just kept thinking, it’s not fair.

It’s not fair.

And suddenly it wasn’t only about the miscarriage.

It felt like a Pandora’s box opening.

Old wounds came up. Feelings about my parents. Feelings about growing up. Feelings about the love I didn’t receive, the absence, the things I had convinced myself I had already forgiven.

And I do forgive my parents.

But I think I am allowed to forgive them and still feel angry about what I didn’t have.

I think hearing about my cousin just touched another old wound too.

I love her to death, but our relationship has always brought up complicated feelings for me.

Growing up, she had what looked to me like the magazine-cover family. There was more stability, more financial security. Meanwhile I was poor. I had a lot of hand-me-downs and I started working as soon as I could.

I was the oldest, so in the beginning I was the one everyone had hopes for. I was supposed to graduate, do well, make everyone proud.

But I didn’t follow that path.

She did.

And whenever I did something wrong, I sometimes felt like my family would use me as an example of what she shouldn’t do. They would steer her in another direction, or not want her hanging around with me.

I was somehow the black sheep, even though I was never even that wild lol.

So I think somewhere inside me, probably in that teenage part of me that never fully got over it, I started feeling like she had taken the little attention or approval I could get from my family.

I know now that she didn’t take anything.

She was just living her life.

But feelings are strange because sometimes the adult part of you understands everything perfectly, while the younger part of you is still standing in the same place, feeling the same hurt.

So when I heard “baby”, something in me thought, is this another thing?

Another thing I have to watch someone else have while I am still waiting?

And I hate that I even feel that way.

I feel ashamed because I am a grown woman and I know better.

I know it is not her fault.

I know it is nobody’s fault.

I know this is just life.

And there is a huge part of me that understands that I have my own journey. I have things I have built and accomplished. I have so much to be thankful for.

But I think I am finally realising that understanding something doesn’t automatically make the pain disappear.

I can understand that life is not unfairly targeting me and still feel that what happened to me was unfair.

I can love my cousin and still admit that our relationship touches old wounds.

I can forgive my parents and still grieve the things I needed from them.

And I can believe with my whole heart that my baby will come to me while still grieving the baby I already lost.

I think that is the part I have been avoiding.

I moved straight into acceptance because acceptance is easier for me than anger.

I said, “It wasn’t meant to be.”

But maybe I never gave myself permission to say, “I wanted that baby.”

I wanted that baby so badly.

And losing my baby hurt me.

It still hurts me.

It genuinely aches my heart.

Especially because it happened the day before my birthday. There is something about that that still gets me every time I think about it.

I don’t even really know what I’m looking for by sharing this.

I think maybe I just needed somewhere where I could say all of it without having to make it sound okay.

Because for once, I don’t want to be the composed woman.

I just want to admit that I’m still grieving. I am still angry, and it’s still unfair.

Sending love to you all, it’s not an easy journey 🤍❤️

Ectopic

So I’m here to vent.

Ectopic pregnancies have ruined my fertility. No one understands what I’m going through no one cares.

I’m pissed off.

I don’t know anyone that’s had an ectopic pregnancy.

Women get help for miscarriages you don’t get any help for ectopic pregnancies.

Just pissed off.