Am I overreacting?
My husband wants to get a live in nanny and get me back to work at the hospital ASAP after my c-section in July. He wants me to go back to my regular hours, which is a 12 hour shift 5 days a week, an hour drive one way. So 14 hours, 5 days a week. He thinks this leave loads of time for me to bond and raise our child. First off, I don't see how we have money for a nanny, he thinks we can pay someone less than 500 a MONTH to be our live in nanny, and second, I want to raise MY child! This child will be my first and only child, a child I was told for years I'd never be able to have.
RANT Nursery / childcare
Soon to be first time mum here & my brain is just perplexed by the lack of nursery spaces for children under 2 years old…
I thought looking at 25 weeks pregnant was insane, but friends pushed that I needed to look early. We viewed our first nursery today and they said they have openings in their baby room from November 2027 (?) but advised us to join the wait list. By this point my baby will be 14 months old and the baby room only holds children until 16 months old
I’ve managed to find 2 other nurseries a close drive away, in neighbouring areas, but definitely nothing walkable. Most of the nurseries I’ve found only take children from 2+
Am I panicking about nothing and a spot will free up? Or is there a chance that when it comes to returning to work, next year, that I won’t have anywhere for my baby to go?
One of the practitioners told me they had someone viewing recently that was 8 weeks pregnant…
Toddler and newborn
Is anyone else struggling to deal with their toddler since baby arrived? I’m a SAHM and have a 2 (almost 3 year old) and I’m losing my patience much quicker at the moment! I genuinely think he doesn’t listen to a single word I say or follow directions which has now been amplified by having another child to take care of.
I will get him showered and dressed to go out and he will just take all of his clothes off and then when I dress him again he repeats it over and over as if it’s the funniest game on earth. Getting out is becoming nearly impossible, I ask him what he wants for lunch, make that exact thing, and he refuses to eat it. He’s asking me for something every 2 seconds (especially whilst feeding the baby) and cannot wait even for me to put baby in his crib so I can get something for him, he just finds a step and starts rummaging through kitchen cupboards, putting the bath on and helping himself to things.
When we do go out he runs off (which he has always done and it’s been a huge struggle for me) and actually will not stop unless physically grabbed, to the point he will run into the roads. I have tried to be firmer, I stay consistent on boundaries, but I’m not sure what else to do.
He’s now started biting me at home too.
I’m finding the newborn is like a holiday compared to this! The constant bargaining, battles, and defiance is really getting me down!
He is very kind and gentle with his baby brother and does have a lovely temperament he is just incredibly busy (I’m almost certain he has ADHD) he still doesn’t sleep, and cannot seem to listen.
Anyone else finding this stage really hard?
(For context we don’t have any childcare and he doesn’t really have any screen time so I doubt it’s that effecting his behaviour)
Toddler
I need help man… I have a 3 year and a 3 month old. My toddler has been whining, crying, screaming, yelling, not sharing with other kids, not eating and he will literally starve, he attacks his cousin or a friend of his that I watch because they touch his toys when he’s playing with another. Always fighting with the other kids. Talking back, saying no to when I tell him to do things. Sighs. I hate to say it but he’s HORRIBLE. As soon as the day starts he’s already on something . I’m tired of it. I’m tired of yelling at him. I’m tired of always getting angry. And what sucks YES SUCKS. Is that I’m doing gentle parenting, he’s sooo close to seeing how my ancestors did things because I’m so fed up. Does he need therapy? Is there something wrong with him?
AITA??
For context my MIL and me have had a good relationship up until I got pregnant, when we first had told her she was excited like any new grandparent obviously. But the excitement turned into entitlement pretty quickly. I’d want to look at a certain pram and she’d tell me no and list a thousand reasons why I should get the one she had with her kids. Or I’d want to buy the first outfit and she got angry and told me she wanted to be the first one as it’s her first grandbaby. Bear in mind this is our first child too..she came to 1 scan with us and we had invited her for a 4D scan but when she had asked if her boyfriend at the time could also come I said no. We don’t know this man so why on earth would I share private memories with him?? They haven’t even been together a full year yet. So she said she wasn’t coming. And since then she has accused us of pushing her out as the grandma, I’m being awful and taking this experience away from her as I had told her it’s just going to be me and husband in the room when I give birth.
She had asked if I was gonna have visitors and I said no.
She then asked if I was gonna tell her if I was in labour I also said it depends on how things go honestly, being on my phone or my husband calling/texting everyone is gonna be last on our lists during a time like that.
She had asked for us to give all the baby stuff she’d brought back to her because we sat back and let her spend a fortune and we’re keeping things from her. So I gave it back..
She told me she’d take things legal to have alone time with our baby because she doesn’t understand why she should be “watched”.
Fast forward baby is here and we went to go visit, it’s hot where we are right now so she didn’t have socks on and immediately she flies into a rage, she took baby off me and like held her back and shouted why didn’t she have socks on.. we’re in public.. I say she’s fine don’t worry it’s a hot day I’ve got some in my bag if she needs it. She then tells me “when it concerns my grandchild I want to know why your not dressing her properly” now I did loose my temper because excuse me?? So I said when it concerns MY child I will do what I feel is right. Took my baby off her and left. Since then she has been messaging my husband how I’m unfit as a mother and I should be ashamed of myself for letting her grandbaby “freeze”. It was 34degrees out.. I dread having to speak or see her, there’s always something to say to try and make me seem like I’m inferior to her as a mother..when she walked out on her kids to be with another man when they was little.. so she can’t speak on me too much but if I say any of this then I’m the asshole.
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