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From the community

Recent discussions

Would you be upset?

So I have been feeling upset today for a few reasons.

1 I asked my siblings, I have 3. Lets call them A, B and C, if we were doing anything for Easter this weekend. A, never responded, B said he had to get through the work week first and C said she didn't know what her little family was doing yet, so no idea.

I said ok, let me know and told them that my little family was away most of the weekend visiting my partners family but would be free on Monday.

Found out on wednesday that B had organised for our parents to go over on Thursday for a movie night and today, after I asked that he and his wife will be out tomorrow but will visit our parenrs on Monday. So he is capapble of organising things, just not with me.

Found out, alao today, also after I asked, from A that she and our parents are going to visit C, her partner and their 8 month old.

So I am upset and angry that noone communicated with me and I had to follow up to get answers.

It's bringing up other issues we have had. Like Christmas 2024, my kiddo was in hospital so we missed Christmas with my family and then my SIL posted photos captioned "family photo" to our fanily group chat (can't remember if she posted to social media) but have taken "family photos" exactly twice before that (once at my Dad's 70th the month before and the other at my brother and SIL's wedding. She was the first to join our family and had been in our lives for 6 years at that point. We haven't taken "family photos" since, despite adding a member, when my niece was born, I was really hurt by that.

2. I am upset with my partner because we are at his Dad's and I have put the dishwasher on twice (he helped once) and a load of washing (he hung it out) and he aaked me to organise our kids dinner, meaning search his Dad's fridge or pantry. I just gace him toast. He also basically told me to put another load of washing on after our kiddo pooped his pants and then turned the bathroom light off, while I was still in there, and walked away.

I absolutely don't mind pulling my weight at his Dad's but it feels like he follows my lead and does the things I have started a lot of the time.

I also would never expect him to rifle through my parents fridge or pantry.

His Dad is super cool and I know I am welcome too, it just feela uncomfy.

3. Our SIL (on my partners side), we'll call her P, is the one who pafticipates in the group chats and her husband, my partners brother isn't even in the chat and is notoriously unreliable in terms of reaponding to or answering calls or texts. So it goes through P. Anyway I feel like there is always an excuse for them not to hang out and my son barely sees them and his cousins. As a result he is obviously closer to the two he does see and it's noticeable.

They aren't free at all this weekend, except tomorrow when we are all catching up and they aren't free next weekend. They weren't free for a city date in January and constantly have thinks on; dance, soccer, parties etc. Never available for quick catch ups either. They live a few streets over from my partners Dad but it's impossible to see them and I am ready to give up. They remind me of my aunt and uncle and I have minimal contact. Never call or text, see them once a year and at special events. I have zero relationship with my cousins. I haven't actually seen my aunt and uncle since 2023 and can't remember the last time I saw the older of my 2 cousins.

I hate that my son is going through what I did.

Anyway, it's been a down day.

Am i the only one?

Hi Mums, this is the first time i will be openly speaking about this because ive been trying to push it back or hide it but i need to know if this is normal?

My baby boy is almost 7 months ols. We had a really difficult time in NICU for a week when he was born and i was also in the hospitalbed. I feel like since im home i havent been able to to complety chill the fuck out. I am always on alert, i feel like i cant rest. I have no friends or family here. My baby is exclusively breastfed and will not drink outside of his bedroom so when we go outside i always have to rush to get back home when he cries. The furthest ive been is 10 mins from home. Havent sat down at a cafe or restaurant. Just shops like sainsbury and b&m. I feel like my everyday is the same routine. Wake up play with him have a walk for a bit go shops and come home put him to bed, clean and sleep. I dont have time to make myself look nice. When will my life be normal? Im so scared this is my life now. I have no one to talk about this. I cant imagine going to the city centre with him it will be madness. Please, does anyone else have a similar situation? HELP. xx a really tired exhausted mum.

Emotional abuse

It’s been pointed out to me that what I’ve been experiencing in my relationship is emotional abuse. After a year and a half of manipulation and gaslighting, things are finally starting to make sense, but it’s also overwhelming to process.

What makes it even harder is knowing that from the outside, he’s seen and known as such a kind and good person and I’m afraid no one will believe me. Right now, I feel completely drained, like I’m carrying a constant weight, with this tight, anxious feeling in my chest that won’t go away.

I’m still trying to find my footing and understand what comes next, but I needed to say this out loud. 😔

Baby wont settle with partner

My 5 week old cried every time I give him to my partner who is the dad. Usually within 2 minutes even if he’s awake or asleep. He’s been like this since he was about a week old. My partner thinks it’s because we’re combi feeding and that I need to pick one but I don’t think it is. Anyone else had this and found a way for me to not be the sole parent? We have a 4 year old too so I need to be able to give him attention too sometimes and not have to shower either crying in the background

How would other mums feel ?

This morning there was an issue where I needed to use the car to pick something up for my Mum and my partner wanted to take our daughter out at the same time. I said I'd just go before and be quick and then they could use the car (with her appropriate car seat - she's 4) but he kept saying no she can just go in my van (with absolutely no car seat). I clearly and explicitly said no, he knows my opinion on this as he's asked before and I made it very clear. It should never have even been raised as an option. Anyway, my daughter got all excited at his suggestion and then proceeded to cry for about half an hour begging me to say yes. I explained it was illegal and unsafe and I wouldn't put her at risk like that. Next thing he just says I'm being silly and dramatic and he's taking her. 🤯 She got all excited and I was absolutely furious with him. I said I was very angry and it's not ok and he still took her anyway...I did consider physically blocking her from going, but I didn't want the drama or upset that it could cause, so they went. But I'm very upset...what is he teaching her?! That he can just override me when I have repeatedly said no she isn't going? And what kind of respect for me and my opinions is that?! V angry.

Help! 30 hour childcare and tax free childcare

Can someone please explain to me how these work. I’ve read the government website over and over and for some reason I just don’t get it! How does the tax free childcare work? And is it same as the 30 hours free or is it an addition?

Weaning

So I thought at 6 months it was just about taste etc so I’ve been doing Ella’s kitchen pouches & he tried avocado.
He is happy to be spoon fed & loves attempting to throw the bowl across the room.

I didn’t realise I should be on my way to breakfast lunch & dinner….

Any advice?? I feel like I’m letting my baby down and putting him behind

Just need to rant

Hi everyone, I feel like I just need some feedback or advice from some strangers so here I am.. as you know we are at the end of our pregnancy so for me everything is hard, tiring and I’ve got a 3yo little boy so I’m just completely exhausted. Anyway, my partner used to be so good with me but the last few weeks he’s been complaining about how messy is the house and that I’m not cooking (I’m still feeding everyone but not as “good” as it used to be). On Monday morning he was supposed to give me a lift to town so I could buy stuff for the hospital bag but he never woke up and when I asked him if he was going to he told me no, that he felt sick. Never mind…The same night he went over to his friend’s house. Well, I thought he was sick?!
On Wednesday he went to another friend for 2days (which was planned but I thought he would change his mind seeing how I’m feeling) anyway, he came back yesterday afternoon and told me he was going to work (he’s a taxi driver) I said fine but then an hour later he called me to tell me he was going to a restaurant with his friends. I find it so rude he thinks it’ ok he can be out so much with his friends while I’m at home with a toddler and heavily pregnant. He came back around midnight. And then today, he’s is gone AGAIN to watch the game at his friends house. Is it my pregnancy hormones or is he just taking the f******g piss ? 😩😩

Funny EC Moment

So my sister visited yesterday and I didn’t think much of it when I went to offer the potty to my 12 week old. She walked into the hallway and sees me holding my baby essentially in the toilet bowl and asked “What the hell are you doing?!” I’ve never considered what it looked like up until that point so I asked her to take a photo of what she saw. It does kind of look like I’m flushing him lol. She thinks that it’s too early to be doing anything like this but I’m confident in my decision as he does go potty, I am getting catches, and he’s even started copying the grunting noise I do now. Just a silly little moment

Thoughts

How do you feel about your other half/husband/childs father being drunk around 4 year old in the afternoon? Like literally falling asleep beside him on the couch

A little guidance

Hey mamas, I’m reaching out for help and resources. I’m currently in a relationship where I want out but I just don’t have the funds for it even if I get my own place I wouldn’t be able to handle everything financially by myself. I was hoping anyone had any good job opportunities anything. I don’t have a car anymore. I have to rely on him for everything, he made me lose my job And I just can’t take it anymore. It’s financially abusive.I have two toddlers so finding a job is extremely hard.

Should I introduce lunch or dinner next?

Nearly 8 month old baby has a mix of BLW/puree but it’s been a slow process! Now comfortably has some breakfast and normally a snack in her other two wake windows but is it better to do lunch or dinner next for her? Any advice welcome xx

I dont know what to do 😬

My man really wants his mom in the delivery room. He says hes gonna need support as well (my mom will be in the room) but i dont feel comfortable being in a vulnerable position like that with his mom in there.

Fussy eater. Please has this got better for anyone?

It has been 7 days of home cooked meals that I know he eats at Nursery. He is 4 years old

Every day this week he has gone to bed eating just a piece of toast because I don't want him to go to bed without eating.

He is totally refusing the meals. Hasn't been in Nursery this week so it's not because he is full up

I hate the fact he just wants to eat crap that other family members let him have 😩

We are all eating the same together, letting him dish his food up, letting him help with the cooking

He just pushes it away ...

How do I get my man to help me out more?

So basically I’m 38 weeks pregnant and my fiancé works as a maintenance tech here at the apartments we live at. He works a typical 9-5 and seasonally does sports. He plays softball spring-fall and is a wrestling coach fall-winter. He also goes hunting occasionally during the fall. He tends to only help out at home whenever he feels like it and normally I don’t mind and I take care of everything but right now I’m in so much pain everyday and focused on our son and also getting this baby out that I don’t have as much energy or time to focus on household chores. It’s been hard having this conversation with him because every time I bring up that I would like for him to take care of a task, he brings up excuses and says he’s too tired from work and just wants to relax. He also has arthritis in his lower back but never complains about it when he’s doing his own activities. Only when I tell him I would like a massage on my hips or that my legs are so swollen and in pain from being pregnant. Then all of a sudden he’s like “yeah my back is killing me too” or I could say I barely got any sleep last night because of how much pain I was in and he would say “same” and when I ask him what body part hurt he always says “my whole body”.

He also loves saying lately how he can’t wait till I’m not pregnant anymore because I ask for too much. He last made this comment after I was waiting by the car for him to open the door for me and help me into the car. (Something he just recently started doing for me so I kind of expected it).

He made dinner tonight, air fried some hot dogs and buns. I’m not judging but I usually cook every meal from scratch so even though I was grateful, I didn’t feel like it was a huge deal. Still I thanked him when he brought me my plate and took a picture of him handing it to me to boost his confidence a bit and make him feel like I really appreciated the gesture, which I did. Then when I asked him to pay attention to our son during dinner because he was on his phone and our son was just talking to me and just kept saying “mommy…” followed by some random question between every bite. My son also needs a bit of a push eating and sometimes help because I suspect he has adhd and he can never focus on his food. I got a bit frustrated and asked him to talk to his son too, that I felt like I was handling it on my own at the moment and he then sighed at me turned off his phone and set it down on the table kind of carelessly. He looked at me so bored and annoyed and then just sat there in silence and said “how are you handling all of it on your own, I just made dinner by myself”.

Anyway I’m stuck in this dilemma and I don’t know how to get him to be more compassionate or attentive. Am I doing something to make him act this way or could I be doing something differently? I feel like I’m not asking for too much, just a little more support where I lack lately. Does anyone else have this problem? What did you do to help your relationship?

Eating/not

Can someone please tell me they are in the same boat as us and find that their 13 month old chucks much more food on the floor than they actually eat still? 😂

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