Community Posts, Tips & Support on Toddler & Child

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Toddler & Child

How do you handle finances as a part time worker and your spouse makes significantly more than you and holds it over your head?

So frustrating that I’m not allowed to spend money but he flippantly can whatever he wants. I am the default parent, and just because I don’t get a paycheck doesn’t mean it’s not work I deserve a reward from. I feel so alone.

How would you react ?

Today was my husband's day off and he woke up around 6 having coffee in bed and was on his phone. . At 7 a.m my little boy woke up and asked to go pee then at 7:30 asked to eat. I then took him and went downstairs to make breakfast and he got so frustrated and started an argument that on his day off he can't relax. I must say he was not sleeping, he was just staring at his phone and now he ignores my child and me.

help

I have two kids and I’m just fed up, years of physical and mentally abuse and the constant cheating my kids deserve better. my kids can’t goto school yet and I don’t trust local daycares. how do I still work my part time with little to no family ?

Spouse going to be away for work for half the week for most of this month maybe more .. any tips for me? Details below

So my husband is going to be working away from home and staying in a hotel for about half the week every week this month and possibly longer. This is entirely new to us. My son is 3 and has never experienced his dad being gone for that long. I don’t think he will be entirely devastated honestly because I’m the preferred parent but I still expect some challenges. Some things to consider: I do have some family in the area, I don’t drive and the grocery store in walking distance is expensive lol. So we plan on making sure I have a good grocery stock and can ask for help if I need it I guess for during the day .. but any other tips? I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something I should be preparing to make it easier in advance ..

If you’re not close to your mom - what went wrong?

Now that I have kids I want a strong and close relationship with my babies. Something I didn’t have with my mom and still don’t.

My mom and I see each other once or twice a year and that’s if I go there to visit her. We don’t talk on the phone unless she wants to call me to ask my younger sisters to go back home.

Never comes over to see my 3 kids never calls to check on them avoids me when she sees me out with my family.

When I was a teen we argued non stop. For years until I left the house. But before that I was always the good child always listened always did what she asked. I was the oldest so did everything for her went above and beyond. I bought up my younger sisters stayed up late nights fed them changed nappies bath them took them out on weekends. My sisters don’t remember her doing any of these things because she never did them. And now she hates them staying at my house she calls non stop.

She’s manipulative and twists things a lot. I have other siblings and she pits us against each other without us realising. Only now as an adult I’m picking up on things and how she manipulates around things.

Where did I go wrong??

I’ve tried to do everything the best I can for my son, we’ve breastfed, co slept, never ever left him to cry, responded calmly 95% of the time, and have created a very peaceful calm household… but he has awful separation anxiety, when I try say no to the boob he goes ape shit, pulling and smacking, his sleep is and always has been pretty bad. And I just see other parents whose babies sleep through the night independently, fall asleep on their own, are happy to fall asleep for grandparents etc.

And here I am, a Slave and a capture to my son…

What did I do wrong? I’ve tried my best 😞

2 weeks

I finally got my own apartment and left my husband 2 weeks ago today. Im honestly surprised how civil he's been. But I knew that he'd be with other women immediately, and I thought I was okay with that. The fact that he's still even with nothing to lose because I left, lying to me about being at another house is driving me crazy. I have his location and drove by there the other day so I know. Its. It healthy for me to concern myself with I know. But I cant handle the quickness and the lies. I know this is how he copes, he cant be alone and probably why hes being so nice after I left.

Advise!!!

Ok so this Easter Dad is supposed to have 5 nights with our 2yo (court ordered) I’m fine with it. I think our child will struggle as they already struggle with a 2 night stay, but it’s ordered so it has to happen. There is no mention in the order that these are in addition to his regular contact it just says the child will stay with the father for 5 nights at Easter, there was a conversation in court about it only been 5 as it was to build up the nights gradually.

He is now trying to tag it to his weekend meaning he will have 6/7 nights. I don’t agree with this as like I say 2 nights are hard for the child’s it is so 5 is going to be hard and I don’t want to add to it.

My solicitor has said until he agrees I should not let him have her. I agree and I don’t want to give into him as he is very much all about control and abusing me not doing what is right for the child but I am also conscious that the child then misses out on a little holiday away with his family all for the sake of 1/2 nights. It seems so silly.

What’s your thoughts and advice??

toilet training- do i just stop putting his nappy on at nighttime and hope for the best?

he sleeps for 12 hours a night. he’s been dry 4 days in a row now including whilst napping 2-3 hours, going to the toilet on his own and then pulling his underwear and bottoms up himself. do i put his potty in his bedroom as he can’t reach his own handle to go to the toilet

Day 3 of potty training

What did your day three look like in terms of accidents and frequency?!

We’ve only had the one accident so far this morning but no wee on the toilet at all today and the first two days he was weeing on the toilet almost every time we went. So not sure if his windows are just increasing?! Or if I’ve got 20 accidents coming my way 🤣

Any advice and experiences much appreciated!

Any suggestions for really quick meals to make for the family after work?

I go back to work on Tuesday and I'm trying to figure out how to fit everything in (dinner, bathtime etc) before my son goes to bed. I'm looking for meals that take 20 - 30 minutes to make that are still relatively healthy.

Tell me if I was over exaggerating the situation?

Long story short. Was in the shelter and got a one bedroom apartment for my daughter and I. I forgave her dad and started living with us. He has a son (years old) very smart young man. So now everyone lives here even though they have their own room individually at his mothers place. This man is a very disrespectful man. I’ve been paying over 3/4 of the rent and groceries by myself. I’ve mentioned to him that I need more help with rent and groceries. I don’t find it fair that four of us lives in here and eats and I am the one scraping my account to fill the gaps. We get paid the same amount of money and have more responsibilities but yet find away to cover what needs to be covered because it’s my place and I can’t afford to end back up in the shelter.
Anyways the situation is when there’s barely any food in here. And they eat a lot. His son tends to go in the kitchen at nighttime and eat everything that comes to his sight. So I’ll wake up the other day, all the fruits are pretty much gone and ca barely have snacks and fruits to send my daughter off to school. I told his father about the situation and the inconsideration about it. He spoke with him and it stopped for a while. I told him that I need hep with groceries and he didn’t help. So again I used what I had to buy groceries and some fruits. I am a juicer so I juice my fruits for myself because I don’t drink juice from boxes or so I make them. I bought a bunch of fruits for that. Bunch of bananas gone in 1 day. I didn’t say anything. Woke up the following morning the pineapple I cut up was gone one piece left. A tiny piece. So I asked you ate all that pineapple last night. No answer. So I asked him did he eat all that pineapple he said yes. So I told him it’s okay to take two to three pieces but everything is not good. So I said next time take some but not all. He went back to his father and told him. His father came to tell me I should not say anything to him about food. That I was wrong. In my defense I am not wrong because I’m the only one paying for groceries and saying most of the rent by myself. If you were helping out more I wouldn’t be this strict about certain things. He started disrespecting me in front of the kids. Telling me i want multiple d*cks at once that’s why I want him to leave. Told his son he should not take up a bitch like me who wants to fuck the world down and may become back with STDs no shit. Right then I told him he has to leave or else I am leaving. He continued with the disrespect in front the kids. So I asked for my keys he refused to give it back. So I was blocking the door demanding that he give me my keys back. His son said to me “ Yo watch out” mind you someone took as my own. Talking to me like that. Told him if he continue the disrespect the kids will eventually start disrespecting me. Last night my 3 years old is telling me to shut up minutes after he told me to shut the f up. That shit is hurting so much because I know it was going to happen and I tried to stop that. Told him multiple times stop talking to me like that in-front of the kids but he is a guy who likes to run his damn mouth. Please any advice because he’s helping out with his daughter so I can go to school. I don’t have anyone else to sit on days I need help or have school but him and his family. My family is in other states. I would have left and go be close to them but I am on a scholarship and already signed a contract and I refuse to repay something I didn’t uphold to. Please any advice. I live in New York so any baby sitter I’m willing to pay.

Daycare costs for babies?

Considering going back to work but wondering if financially it is worth it because of the cost. My baby would be about a year by that time. Anyone have 1 year olds in daycare in the metrowest area and can share what is the monthly cost for daycare? Thanks!

Disobedience

Hi just wondering if it’s normal and how do you deal with kid being naughty. A friend of mine is staying with us and says my daughter was trying to draw on the sofa covers and blankets with felt tip pens. She told her not to, but she still did it, looking her in the eye grinning. She kept trying to do it again. So she said she will tell me and took it away. My daughter was not scared, she said like yeah you try to tell my mummy.. she’s MY mummy! I’d be angry, shout, tempted to smack her bum.. tell her she won’t get no Easter egg if she’s naughty. My husband uses threats he’ll throw away her toy. I know it’s not ideal. We are old school.. raised up with punishment.
We try to explain reasons (I do) why we can’t do it. How is anyone else dealing with discipline? It is ok to expect her to behave at this age? What do do when testing boundaries? She’s usually not too bad with me.. I’m just not made to be nice smiley patient Montessori lady 😅🤪🫣

Tantrums

Is anyone else struggling with the throws of the “terrible twos”. My little boy over the past few months has really be tantruming. I know it’s developmentally normal and he is just frustrated but it’s almost constant. Whenever he was to wait more than 30 seconds 🤦🏻‍♀️ it will thrash and hit and kick. I know I need to be patient but I’m also 24 weeks pregnant so I’m sore and exhausted in so many ways. I work full time and feel the weekends used to be great we could have so much fun but now it’s just filled with him getting angry and upset. I know he will grow out of it but I feel terrible when he’s like this and even worse when I lose my patience and start crying too. How are we all coping?

Sickness and hunger strike

My 14 month old has decided he doesn’t want to eat ANYTHING except snacks the whole day, and doesn’t want to compensate with milk.

For context, he’s been sick with a chesty cough and snotty nose for 3 days and now has diarrhoea. We went to the doctor who told me it’s viral but I’m a bit sceptical now as he is so out of character. Constantly wants his dummy, extra clingy (not complaining ❤️), reluctant to play with his toys, just wants to cuddle and watch animal safari’s on YouTube…

He has a bottle in the morning and before bed but I’m really struggling to get food down him. I’ve tried soft food, hard food, pouches and all he wants to eat is strawberries.

Should I be concerned? How much longer does it last? How do you guys make sure they’re getting sufficient food? What else can I do? Any suggestions for trying to get some substantive in?

Any advice is appreciated. This is his first chest illness since birth so Im a bit panicked.

TIA

inconsolable

my baby is inconsolable. he has a clean diaper, full belly, burped everything. he will not stop crying. we have tried everything. i feel like i could literally pull my hair out. like im to the point where im about to walk out the front door and not come back for a few hours. he will not stop. he still won’t sleep in his bassinet for more than 30 minutes so i couldn’t tell you the last time i got more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time. i feel so defeated and i dont know what to do at this point.

Hey girlies ...

I'm going from a working mama to a stay at home Mama. And I feel like I'm not gonna be able to deal with it. How does you stay at home Mamas keep your sanity? Give me advice... I feel like I'm going to be bored like while the kids are at school and fall into depression. But I want to adapt... And put myself on schedule....hmmm give me some advice y'all 🤔🥹❤️ how do you cope ?

Accepting this is my last.

I am currently under the insanity of 3 under 3! Been torn between donating stuff after my baby grows out of it or saving back. I believe I'm done but each time my baby grows out of something and he's 3 weeks old so it's very frequent..... It breaks my heart I'll never have a little little baby again. With starting a new career, night college, and buying a new home soon I just don't see it in the future either. It's a sad chapter to close and has been very heart jerking to cope with lately. Any advice, suggestions? I thought about saving certain clothes back and doing memory bears or a giant quilt.

Would this make you worried gym daycare.

I was showing my 3 year old how to use the toilet at the daycare at my gym. We go in and I notice there’s also a door inside the single restroom on the other side. I figured it was a utility closet. As I’m walking around the gym I realize the daycares restroom is double acess. It’s also the toilet for employees that work the front desk on the other side.
Like wtf? How would they know if a small child walked out the the other door. And how do they prevent random weirdos from coming in the restroom when a small kid is in there because you know half those kids don’t use the locks. Absolutely insane design. So now I make both my kids go when I get there and showed them how to use the locks every time.