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Raising a Libra Baby: How to Support Your Little Peacemaker

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Raising a Cancer Baby: Big Feelings in a Tiny Package

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Raising a Leo Baby: What to Expect From Your Fiery Lion

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Raising a Scorpio Baby: The Good, The Intense, and The Nap Refusals

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From the community

Recent discussions

What have I done?

I have a 3 weeks old and I'm starting to really freak out. I love him and will do anything I need to make sure he's happy healthy and safe but I'm terrified I've made a mistake! I don't know how to be a mum. I dont like other peoples children. I dont want to loose my identity and I'm so scared of messing up because again I do love him. I'm not enjoying this and starting to feel like I've trapped myself in a prison. I just want to be happy and I want to enjoy my baby but I feel so scared and lost. Please tell me this is normal and it will pass?

Struggles with Partner

Hey, just looking for a bit of advice really as I don’t have many friends to talk to.

My partner and I have a 15 month old and 3 months pregnant with our second he opened a business around the time our son was born that requires a lot of his time and attention.

To cut a long story short, he rarely has our son alone, he only really spends time with him at night before he goes to bed/some time on the weekend, but I am expected to be fully responsible during those times. There are some weeks that he hasn’t even changed our son’s nappy once. If I ever have an appointment/social event I have to arrange childcare or plan around our son’s nursery hours.

He doesn’t do much in the house at all, but I’m fine with that as I don’t have set working hours due to helping with the business so I spend a lot of time at home.

The issue I have is that I am expected to care for the home, care for our son (who sleeps absolutely terribly), and help with the business daily. Whilst I have allowed him to focus solely on the business.

It feels like I am being stretched to do more, and he can be very hurtful with the way that he speaks to me. Sometimes I think I’d be better off doing it alone as honestly it feels that way sometimes now.

Just looking for some advice really or anyone who has been through something similar? 😞

Brother in law about to ruin his life

My BIL and I are pretty close, because him and my husband are best friends. Last year, his wife left him and the divorce was very ugly. I supported her leaving him because their relationship was toxic, but that didn’t mean they were bad people individually. Then my husband and I ended up being collateral damage in the divorce, and neither of them talk to us. His mom told us that BIL has been really going through it, and moved in this girl he met two weeks prior, and her new born baby, into his house, which he kept in the divorce. Then she was doing drugs, and he was raising the baby, so he kicked her out and then their sister (my sister in law) ended up involving CYS. Then the next week, he started dating tho girls cousin, and now they have been together 1 month and he’s selling his house and rehoming his pets to move in with her… this woman he has known for ONE MONTH. And everyone knows the relationship will not work, and he’s going to put himself in a really bad situation, but I don’t know how to get him to see this… also he and my husband have made up and they’ve been spending no time together, and I pointed out that he doesn’t even ever talk about who his girlfriend is/what she’s like, he only ever talks about what she has and what he’ll have going with her.

Feeling Overwhelmed and Looking for Advice

I love my husband, and I appreciate that he works hard and provides for our family so I can stay home with our 16-month-old daughter. However, I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. I take care of our daughter all day and all night, and when my husband gets home, he says he’s too tired to help. If I mention that I’m tired too, it often turns into an argument.

He seems to think that because I’m a stay-at-home mom, I can sleep in or nap whenever I want, but that’s not the reality of caring for a very active toddler. I often have to beg for help with simple things like changing a diaper or making a bottle, and most of the time I end up doing it myself.

I’m exhausted and burned out. I can’t keep doing everything on my own, and I don’t know what to do anymore because I need help and support too

Is it bad that i love having a velcro baby😭

Dont get me wrong it's exhausting, I really really need a break before I go mental, but part of me loves like when we go places and people want to hold him but he just wants me. My first born has always been very independent, she was a perfect baby. My second though, everyone knows he's my velcro baby. He can't go more than 10 minutes in someone else's arms. 😂 it's just kind of nice to feel needed. I'm just enjoying it while it lasts cause I'm sure once he starts walking he'll need me less 🥲

A mate told me I’m a bad mum for not being a SAHM

Out for dinner with girls, usually 5 of us been same way since collage, my son has just turned two and i admited I couldn’t hack being a stay at home mum, I work three days a week, have two days with my son which i love having I’m not saying I want to work more, then obv weekend but then my husband is around for help, and I simply said I don’t think I could hack 5 days at home with my son, and praises them for how that can do it, as this age is tough! And dinner table went a little silent, all other 4 girls are stay at home mums, one said “the greatest mums put their whole hart into their kids, we just trying to do our best… oh not saying your not but some struggle it’s okay” but the way she said id was defo a dig. now I married for love, some of them married for money and some half & half id say but being the only one that works and the last to have a baby I feel like bit of a outsider now, and that was just nail in coffin. Non have reached out to me since, one of the girls is my twin sister and she told me there has been a new group chat made for one the other girls 40th’s when she asked why I wasnt invited she replied “she’s prob working or tired from having her son so though just best us mummy girls” I told my sister all due respect but that’s fine with me, they are her kinda people not really mine anymore, they all set sighs to be SAHM since high school and good for them for reaching that goal, where I wanted a career. I said maybe it’s time I found my own kinda people… but that’s 15 years of friendships and weekly dinners down drain because I’m ambitious and find toddler stage harder than expected 🤣 anyone ever had to start again friends wise if there thirties?

I'm struggling

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have been told by the midwife that I'm measuring at 40 weeks already, I'm out of breath and so uncomfortable , and I have an 11 month old to look after too. It's honestly been so physically demanding and tiring. My partner is basically leaving all the housework to me, we live in a 3 bedroom house and he will 'help out' very occasionally, maybe washing up once a week or laundry once a week and never finishes the whole job. Like he will put a load in the washing machine and start it and that's it, I have to hang it up and put it away. I have to nag and nag for any sort of help as well and he will deflect it on to my autistic son as well saying he should be doing it. When I say I don't feel well, he doesn't even respond. I pay for everything in the house and for our daughter and he pays a few bills and cooks once a day. I'm in charge of the mental load, weekly shopping, making sure him, my teenage son (who has autism) my daughter have everything they need, I'm getting up at night for our daughter (every night) and it's just getting too much when walking up the stairs gets me so out of breath. Even washing up hurts my back and hips a lot but I have to carry on, even though he is physically able to do a lot more than I am atm. I'm growing so much resentment, as I've said so many times that I'm struggling and all he says mainly is that I keep starting arguments, it's so frustrating. He works part time as well and fo most of that time is playing video games, watching me struggle on. Needed to vent more than anything but don't really know what to do anymore.

Family visiting after having a baby

For those who have been in this situation where family wants to visit after having a baby, but because they live far away can't make it a quick visit (& to add to even more stress, would be staying with you), how did you and your spouse come to an agreement when you have differing opinions?

We are expecting our third baby :) To be quite honest, I don't want anyone to visit this time around who can't just stop by for a quick hello. I understand that may sound selfish. I compromised outside of my comfort level twice before and don't want to "suck it up" this time simply because my husband's family lives far away. Between really needing my privacy and space PP and with my due date being in January so peak flu/cold season, I don't want to deal with this again.

We visit my husband's family every summer for a week so I would love to wait until our annual trip. Yes the baby would be 6mo so no longer a newborn... but I have been through this twice now and having his Mom and sister fly out (we even had them stay in a hotel the last time) was too much. I felt this way as well with my previous pregnancies and the push back/vile texts I recieved from his Mom were awful and the guilt trip she gave him made him demand I just go with it to avoid her being upset. I am confident and firm now that her needs do not come before my own.

I want to soak up my last PP journey without the expectation of having to accommodate others. Any suggestions on how to get my husband to truly understand and support me?

Men!

My partner and I been together over 9 years and since our daughter has been here he has changed. He usually comes 2 mine( I live with my mum as landlord sold the flat i was living in when I got pregnant) on Tuesdays afternoon but he will come the latest as possible and even tho he knws im pissed off with him doing this he carries on doing it. He takes our daughter to skl on Wednesday to Friday and the time she's in nursery he goes upstairs and sleeps and not spend time with me. Ive told him tht im annoyed he does tht but doesnt bother him he will just say my bad or sorry... but he carries on doing same thing. The friday I take our daughter 2 bed and he will go hme and he doesnt bother with us on the weekend( he will call later in the day) I take my daughter out as much as I can on weekends so shes not bored at hme. It's a struggle for him 2 do stuff with her unless im payin or im comin as well its neva just them.
I've had moments where ive had enough and would just be single but its just thinkin would he even bother with our daughter if i end it.

Typical toddler or resentment??

I had my second child 10 weeks ago, and these last 5-8 weeks my nearly 3 yo has just been so horrid to me. We’ve taken the divide and conquer approach to parenting 2 littles and it’s been working for us. But I feel like where I’m not able to care for my eldest like I used to is causing some feelings of resentment towards me.

For example, he had a great day out with his dad today (I didn’t go cos youngest had jabs) and he fell asleep on the way home. Once he woke, first thing he said to me was “go away” a few times. I was cool and just said “no”. Then later, my partner said to him to show me his new tops he got and he was about to when he then changed his mind and just kicked the bag at me. I just got up and cried. This isn’t an isolated incident, and for quite some time I was the fave parents. And I’m okay not being the fave but I don’t want to be spoken to like that or treated like that. It really upsets me! We had such a beautiful bond and now I feel he hates me 😔

Could also him just being a rat bag nearly 3 year old. I just don’t know how to discipline him right either. We use time out but don’t think it works and I don’t agree with time out methods. Maybe I’m overreacting, but it feels hurtful and I love him so much and missing hanging out with him and being able to play like I used to. The littlest just needs me so intensely atm 😔

How to break the cycle

I moved back in with my bf and it’s starting to go bad again. I feel so stupid for believing he’d actually change how he treats me. I lived with my mom for about 8 months and he’d tell me all the time I miss you, come back, I’ll treat you like a queen, I’ll do things for you, I’ll help out around the house, i cry when your gone. Things like that. Then I came back and about 2 months into living together again he’s going back to the same habits he’s had before. Makes me feel so incredibly stupid for coming back. I might have an opportunity to leave but I have no real financial support to back me up. I want to take him for child support but I know he’d leave. What hurts the most is he’s a good dad and our kids love him so much. I want to stay for my kids but I feel depressed and my mental health just sucks around him. I am constantly questioning myself and my self worth. If I’m actually the crazy controlling one. If I’m actually the one that is awful. I question it all. My family definitely doesn’t think it’s me but I question myself when I talk to him. I hate feeling like this. Sorry that was a lot

I have a husband who is doing uber and don’t have time for us he won’t sleep at home and now have been saying he sleeps in the car, that don’t seem to be true. He sometimes come home to sleep and that’s afternoon or late in the morning…

Last two years or more we have no physical contact he won’t make the time. All he says is his paying for credit card interests which don’t seem to finish for 3 years now. He takes my toddler once a week to nursery and because his sleepy that becomes hard for him. Long story short I did find him cheating writing messages to someone aboard and god knows what else there is he has few phones with screen blackouts. His bank account statements don’t come home. Last week me and my daughter went to grandmas for 2 days and came home without telling him and I found a photo of a child 8 months in his purse photo section. I called him to the pub to speak he said it’s his uncles grandson (not an uncle a friend he says he does some work with him) I’ve never met this man. Apparently in turkey he and his uncle went to a health care office to get a health card for his grandson but because of parking problems the uncle couldn’t come out. Last one week I’ve been going crazy and I don’t believe him. It’s so shit that we can not find out if our husbands have any other child under his registration in uk or aboard. I am really sad and not sure in what to do now. I can only divorce

Helppp

I am SICK of family asking my 2 year old for a kiss or a hug. Shes suspected autistic so is only really affectionate towards my husband and I (and that is also very rare!)
I dont want people kissing my kids as it is but to try force her when she really doesnt like it!!
I have tried the "she isnt affectionate" but how else can I phrase it without offending anyone??
She really just loves her own company.

Does anyone else get so caught up in motherhood you forget about yourself?

I get so caught up with my 4 year old, my 8 month old and school that I barely have time to even pee.
I’m going to make it a build myself up day just for myself. We all need break days, I’m going to curl my hair, do my nails and possibly make up. I’ve been so ran down by my husband lately. All he talks about is his job and it’s all he cares about. So I’m going to make it a me day. Most days I don’t get to brush my hair 😞

Jealousy.

I’m a sahm to a beautiful nearly 3 month old boy and I think I’m jealous of my husband. He gets hours to play games by himself and he goes to work (yes I understand most people don’t see that as a break but it sure seems like it) and goodness gracious he gets to sleep in on the weekends and the rational side of me knows I’m just overthinking it but why does it seem like all I get is to be my sons mom 20 hours a day while he gets to be himself 20 hours a day? Is it unfair to feel like I have to schedule time for myself while he gets to just be?

Ps
Yes I’ve brought this up to him and he says he gets it and does his best to give me that time but after a couple days it feels like it goes right back and I’ve pretty much trauma driven myself to believe that since I haven’t been keeping up with the house work I don’t deserve time to myself which is not his fault in the slightest I always choose to keep the baby while I watch tv and make dinner so he can have his de-stress time but I tend to let myself fall to the waist side and keep pushing past it till I cry to him at midnight about how much I’m struggling.

Am I being selfish?

Alright mamas, I need some help and heart to hearts. My heart is breaking every day because my baby girl is almost 7 months old she is my first and it’s killing me knowing she will not always be my teeny girl. She was born 5.5lbs and then one day she grew into this lengthy 16lb baby and it’s happening so fast. I’m excited to see her grow up but I’m so heart broken knowing that I’ll never get to keep any version of her and I never get to say goodbye to the little versions. My husband says he is overly excited about her to grow and while I am too I am more upset that I’ll never get to be with her this little again. She is the one who made me a mama and I just want her to stay little. My husband said I’m being selfish in thinking this and that hurts me more. Please tell me others think the same way because honestly I love my little girl more than anything in this world and I’m so nervous for more kids because none of them will get the same amount of time I enjoy with her because I will have other kids to take care of. I’m not sure I’m just super emotional and I want her to grow up and be happy but I just wish time wasn’t such a horrible thief.

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