Parenting

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From the community

Recent discussions

I can’t do it

Anyone else getting the overwhelming feeling like they just cant do it. I’m nearly 3 weeks in and I’m exhausting and feeling unwell.
I was in the hospital last few days due to an infection and feeling faint.
I felt better and went home, woken up this morning just feeling like shit again and rundown and hot.

Every time I ask my partner for some helps it is met with a “sigh” and he goes “I’m tired too and I’m working”
When I came back home house was still messy.

I have such back pain, extremely sore nipples, feverish but don’t have a fever and just so unwell.
At night baby is on myside I feed her and change her. Me and partner argue becuase he says he does everything and is running around but I don’t see it that way.

I’m feeling more disconnected to my baby and just cry a lot cause I’m in so much pain and exhaustion. The slight thought of regret having a baby is coming to mind and I feel so bad.

Anyone have any advice?

How do you deal with being married and still loving your spouse but feeling disgusted and completely turned off by them after cheating, trust issues, and constant relationship drama? Is the marriage worth rebuilding ?

We have a daughter and a baby coming in Dec. I can say every-time Ive been pregnant I have not experienced the best yet . I need yall help on what should I do.

Roommates

My bestie has been living with my husband and I for about 5-6 years now. She was in a position where she needed help and we were able to do that for her. (I want to preface this by saying we do a lot for her.) The past 5ish years it’s been great having her. She pays her rent on time and our kids love her. She is the basement auntie. Things have unfortunately taken a turn her personal life has taken quite a few hits the past few months and we’re being as understanding as we can. We’ve been taking late not in full rent (we don’t charge her for utilities or wifi , I’ve been taking her to and from work grocery shopping, just anything she needs really. But she’s picking fights and doing shitty things now. The way she’s treating us and our things is not okay.
I’ve tried talking to her about this, but if I bring up literally ANYTHING it’s throwing it back in her face. She has this idc attitude I told her if she was going to continue being shitty to me as I’m literally taking her to work she can get out and walk. Her response to that was “I’ll quit my job right now. I told her to find a new place to live. She just has a shitty attitude. I don’t want that around my kids.

She yells then cries then disappears to her family’s house for weeks at a time. I thought we were somewhat good after this last time she went to her families house but this morning I wake up to my clean dried clothes on the ground of the laundry room and my clothes that were next to go into the dryer are just wet sitting on top of the dryer. I know it’s not a huge thing but it feels disrespectful asf. Especially after having a conversation with her about her attitude and the things she does.

What should I do. I love her and I want her to do well in life. I really don’t want our friendship to go out the window but girlllll. Should we start treating her as just a roommate? Start charging her for utilities and rent in full at the 1st of each month?

I also want to add we don’t need her as a roommate we can make rent and bills just fine, our rent would actually be cheaper without her here. We’re literally only doing this because she needs us to.

GOING BACK TO WORK

Am loosing it

I will be resuming back to work soon
Myself and my partner works full time
I work day shift and he does night shift
Now my partner is saying , he won’t be able to look after the baby while I am work cos he needs the day to himself to catch up with his sleep
He is insisting we take her to a daycare during the pay and that we must spilt the cost of daycare 50/50

I think that is being selfish 🤦🏻‍♀️
It is reasonable or I am just overthinking ?
Mums how do you plan with your partner on childcare while at work

Partners

Anyone else struggling with being told they ‘don’t do enough’ by their partner despite having next to no energy and still doing all of the house jobs that they did before? 😐

His gaming time

Hi ladies,

Since having my 5 month old, I basically haven't gamed which I'm fine with as I only dabbled in some cozy ones like animal crossing.

However, my partner still gets to game every night. I don't mind this because we split our shifts so he has her after work and I then take her to settle down for bed.

What has annoyed me is he has booked a day off at work and he said he was looking forward to a "gaming day". I said well can you have her a bit earlier then. He said whats the point of him booking a day off if he isn't getting any extra time for himself.

It's made me so angry! I tried to explain to him that having a day off work isnt a day off parenting. He then said the way he sees it is his day off is basically my day off then.

I said well yes! He said he didn't see how that's fair. I just don't know how to explain it to get through to him. I did try saying well when is my day off then and he gave examples where I've gone out with friends and he had her. But I explained that was on the weekend and I then had her on the sunday more so he could get his time.

We're just at an impasse of how to treat annual leave while I'm maternity leave and its driving me nuts!

Anyone else in the same position or can offer any advice?

Are his moods becoming mine

So just as a little example this morning ive been up for a few hours with our toddler, other half is just up. He seemed in an okay mood i was in a good mood he said morning to me and the wee one. Im sitting in the living room with the toddler he's gone to the kitchen and next thing the doors are slamming, he's stomping his feet when he walks. I have no idea what it's about or what coild have annoyed him. But im sat in the living room and ive started to feel stressed out and annoyed at im not sure what.

Is this his mood becoming mine...or is it his actions making me like this...

Being alone in labor …..

Today I was talking to my husband about how happy I am that he’s going to be there for me when I give birth and how supportive I feel like he’s going to be during labor. He kinda laughed and said, “Says who?” 😭

Now I KNOW he likes to joke and mess with me, and we do that to each other all the time, but for some reason that comment has been sitting heavy on my mind. Especially because he’s told me before that he wasn’t there when his last BM gave birth to their son.

I explained to him after he laughed that I know he’s not going to be anything like my first BD, who literally cursed me out and called me out of my name while I was in labor. He immediately got serious, called him a bastard, hugged me, and reassured me. ❤️

But I still can’t help thinking about it.

All of my family lives at least an hour away, and nobody drives, so if for whatever reason I had to give birth without my husband there, I honestly don’t know what I would do.

For the moms who have given birth alone or without their partner there — how did you handle it? Did you feel scared or lonely? What helped you feel supported and comfortable during labor?

I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for every possibility, even though I’m really hoping I won’t have to do it alone. 🥹💕

Partner broke up after 6 years and a 15 month old baby

My fiance (yes we were engaged) eft me last night. He ended our 6 year relationship and told me he doesn't love me anymore and can't stay with me just for the sake of baby.

I haven't slept all night I'm heartbroken and devastated and feel so blindsided as we wasn't even arguing at the time.

I feel sick with anxiety about the future and what this will look like for me and 15 month old. We're not married so I don't think I have many rights. I worried about my finances and losing our home etc.

Not to mention the loss of what I thought was my forever love.

It was out the blue but said he's hasn't been happy for months.

I'm broken. I genuinely thought we were in a good place.

I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying and I just want to get happy and 100% for my son

Need to vent

Today my husband and I dropped off our son at school and he is usually first in line. Today we were running a little behind and so my husband insisted on our son going a different want than usual to get in line. Our son ended up not being first. I expressed that our son should have just went the way he usually goes because the other way took him longer. In the end my husband decides to give me the silent treatment drops me and our other child back off at home and leaves for the whole day and doesn't bother to communicate not once. He comes back home and then leave out for the night without saying anything to me. This is just a very immature response especially when the situation wasn't that big of a deal.

Give it to me straight! Am i selfish?

So we're a military family with absolutely no family whatsoever in the state and I don't have any sort of village. I was a stay at home mom but got no support from my husband, and I needed breaks so I put our daughter in daycare but I still don't work. I spend the day cooking, cleaning, gym and something for myself like thrifting. I do have 4,000 of my own income that I contribute because of VA benefits. Do you think it's selfish to put my daughter in daycare (some weeks it's full time, other weeks it's part time and she does great both ways). Sometimes I feel very selfish because it's like I'm not spending so much time with her as I feel like she deserves. But at the same time my husband told me SAHMs don't deserve breaks (we're getting divorced don't worry lol) and the only way for me to get relief was daycare and I truly have no desire to go back to being a FT SAHM. I like getting time to myself and being able to cook, clean in peace.

need advice

recently, my daughter had to be hospitalized due to poor eating and her weight just not increasing at all come to find out something happened with eating now she has oral aversion to eating a bottle and had to get an NG tube placed. This all happened right after she started Daycare to a few of the health providers thinking something might've occurred to Daycare. I don't know if I want to report them to licensing or not as I have no idea of anything really did happen or not. I don't know what to do. Should I report it or should I just let it go and just focus on my daughter? here's a picture of my baby girl on three months old

Ive been feeling lately that my toddler is smothering me

How do I cope with this. Im going to leave his father soon but I haven't left yet because hes the only help I can get when I want a break... which is every night

1 year after

Hey guys. My little one is 1 year and 3 days now. Having him was physically and mentally straining for me. Infections, dangerously low iron and folic levels and an all around mental roller-coaster. But I love him with all my being.

For a few months now ive been incredibly broody. Every time I look at my boy I am hit with an overwhelming want for another baby.
Financially its not really an option and admittedly im scared of the same things happening to me if im to have another. But I keep catching myself checking for ovulation windows and period timelines on my app that I use. Like im a robot being controlled loll.
My partner though is completely against having another one just now. "Let's wait until hes 5 like we talked about to see if we could do it again"
Hes not wrong. At all. But OMG I cant help it right now. Is anyone else having this issue? Because I just feel alone in my feelings right now and it feels like a room full of people just avoiding me completely

Is anyone else struggling ?

Im 10 months pp ftm and I am sooo overwhelmed with the stress of it all. I love my baby so much but I have such long days until my husband gets home so I manage everything alone, take care of the home, baby, dog, myself (lol barley) the mental load is exhausting. I feel like I need a break but there is no off button. I am so so overwhelmed then I feel guilty for feeling this way :( motherhood is so hard

Parenting

So I’m terrified to discipline my 4 year old. I’m his safe person so if I discipline him like moms do and get loud or yell, ect I don’t want him to fear me. Please help I need ideas. He is on the spectrum but I don’t need to be giving him special treatment he knows things and what they mean.
And really tho my dad scared me so much as a kid I was afraid to make a mistake. Not really sure what to do because I don’t want my son to have mental health issues or be a narcissist. Ugh, what a life lol

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