Community Posts, Tips & Support on Parenting

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Parenting

Toddler mean to his grandma. Help 😟

My son is almost 3. He is a very intelligent, sweet and sensitive boy 🧡 but he is also very stubborn and head strong. He is quite mean to my mum and it really gets me down. I can’t understand why. She is like a third parent to him. Literally does SO MUCH for him and for us overall. He just doesn’t show her love like he does with his other 2 grandparents and it breaks my heart. He keeps answering back at her, doesn’t show excitement when seeing her and rarely initiates a cuddle or a kiss. Does he just not like her? It’s sad because she’s besotted by him. I don’t think she’s ever loved anyone like she loves him 💔. Any advice? 😥 Xx

Just venting

I’m just venting. I got married on the 31 of December 2025. I only did it because I wanted my child to have a two parent house hold. The problem I’m having is I don’t trust my partner. He’s a composer cheater in my eyes. He believe that all men cheat. And all women do is cheat but hid it well. It’s just temptation. It just makes me sad because at one point I really did love him. But I felt like I should had left when he cheated the first time,when I told him I was pregnant. I haven’t left yet hoping he will change. As a 30 year old man that still has a child mindset. It’s so much more. I’m just tired. Positive note, Happy 2 months to my little love!!!

How did you know you chose right? Long post sorry

My bd and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have a 16 month old daughter and another one due in a couple of weeks.

Our entire relationship has been so rocky and not really great. The week I was going to break up him two little lines popped up in a test. I figured that’s a sign to stay and work things out. That pregnancy he treated me decently. Postpartum was DREADFUL, I had PPD, no helpful village around they just cared to hold the baby so I could sleep or shower but in all honesty I wanted conv even if it was small talk or someone to sit beside me and watch tv or help with household chores/things since I had an emergency c-section so getting around was so painful and I wasn’t able to really take bath which was all I heard PP “go take a bath I have her.” (Well I can’t submerge water for 6 to 8 weeks doctors orders and I couldn’t stand long enough to shower alone). I gained really bad anxiety on top of that. I couldn’t even bond with my daughter (which is now crazy to think/look back on since she only wants me). I went back to work after 4 weeks (forced my boss not by choice couldn’t say no since my boss was my mom’s best friend). I cried for hours in bed in the evenings when my bd would get home and look after her. That continued for MONTHS. I never gained my sex drive back only got pregnant again because non-latex condoms are expensive and birth control fucks with my mental and physical health/state plus age requested sex since we haven’t since the birth of our daughter (she was close to 8 months old at the time) I respectfully said “I don’t know” he got annoyed and complained that we hadn’t fucked in so long so I rolled my eyes and said “whatever” and laid down I was too tired to fight/argue anymore that day.

BOOM 5 weeks later two lines on a test… he rushed to put a stupid ring on my fucking finger to avoid guilt and shame from his side. But honestly, this whole pregnancy I have felt so alone, and we have fought so much more. All he does is sleep after work hardly helps me with anything around the house or anything with our daughter. After one specific fight, I started to make a plan to leave him. I have followed through with that plan. The ultimate goal is to leave him but for me to be smart about this had the word it as I need time and space to think this through.

It’s so challenging because he’s making all these promises that he has made before, but I don’t believe them, but he tells me that this time he’s actually gonna go through with them. All of this is so psychological mindfucking because he’s so mean over text and then when we’re in person together, he looks at me like he’s a lost puppy and begs me every single chance he can to come back home. I’m waiting for my counselor to be back in office this week during our session in order to be able to go over a plan properly how to leave him and suggest co-parenting for now.

It’s like he’s mean over text and then we see each other for a split second so he can spend time with our daughter during that time he’s sweet and begs me to take him back and promising things will be different then later that night he’ll text me mean or continues to beg me to come home….

I feel like I’m choosing the right path but then also sometimes I question it….

These messages bother me from my mother in law for some reason

Idk why they bother me. It feels like she wants me to mother him

I think my partners boundaries are too strict…

My partner has a difficult relationship with his family, I think his parents are lovely people but I can see where he gets frustrated with them. They are far from perfect but I think they mean well.

His older brother still lives at home and unfortunately has a habit of using weed and coke. He’ll smoke outside but do coke in his room and obviously drugs are kept there too.

The parents know this but have not tried to help him or get the drugs out the house. The brother has no intention of moving out either.

Because of this, my partner feels strongly that our child should never enter that house. The child would never be in the same room as the drugs but my partner feels that on principle, we should never take the baby there.

While I do not agree with his brother’s habit and the safety of my baby is the most important thing, I think he may be being too harsh.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving there baby there without one of us but surely never going over is a bit far. I’m worried it would ruin the relationship between our families.

Of course his parents would be welcome at our house so it’s not like access is being denied, just not in their home.

Is my partner being too harsh or am I not concerned enough?

I think my partner is just using the baby not coming over as a threat to get his parents to do something about the drugs.

Husband is upset I won’t support his career change

My husband hates his job, and it’s back breaking work for very low pay. I’ve been encouraging him to change his careers, but he says he has no dreams. I told him to really think about what he likes and what he’s good at, and he finally came up with a career he’d like to explore. The issue is that this specific career is not something I am willing to support. He brought it up and I was immediately appalled, so he shut down and told me nevermind and that he’s sorry he brought it up. He said he just thought about what he’s very good at, and I said he’s good at lots of other things. I never thought this was the direction he would turn, and it’s probably the one job I am putting my foot down on. Now he won’t talk to me about new careers at all.

I honestly feel stupid even saying what the job he wants is. Just know it’s not a respectable job I want the father of my children having, in my opinion.

Is it time to be done?

So my husband and I have been together over 7 years. We have a 5 year old together plus I have a 10 year old from another relationship. We have been staying with my husband’s grandmother as he wants to save to buy a house. I let him know that I didn’t think this was a good idea as she is mentally unstable and is known to snap on people. We have been there for two years now. The whole time my anxiety is super high as any little thing will make her snap out. This morning as I was running late she began yelling at me over lights being left on the night before-in front of my kids.asked nicely if we could chat about it this evening as I had to get to work. She then got louder and told can’t do anything right as the night before I burnt a hamburger. So I called her psychotic. She then ran and called my husband at work to tell him how I called her psychotic, but left out the part how I asked her nicely to talk to me this evening. My husband then ignored me all day. When I messaged and said I think it’s best if the kids and I move out of his grandmothers all he had to say is “that is probably the best decision”. Then went back to ignoring me.

I feel like if I have to uproot my kids over a situation he put us in as it’s “for the best” then it’s probably “for the best” we end the relationship. But I don’t know if I’m just being spiteful atp

Husband is turning incredibly misogynistic

My husband was always so supportive and believed in women, but now he’s hanging out some new coworkers who watch a lot of these YouTubers with problematic views. He’s starting to really buy into what they say, and a lot of them are incredibly misogynistic. It started with offhanded comments about how women are always the problem, and leave it to a woman to fuck things up, which would start fights between us because I was so taken aback. As we fight more, he pushes more into these beliefs. We’ve always shared things like chores and parenting, but now it’s falling 100% on me because he believes they are “woman jobs” and I can’t keep up with the extra house work on top of my job. If I ask him to watch the kids for even 30 minutes, he calls it “babysitting,” and he makes it sound like that 30 minutes is the end of the world, where now I have my mom filling in for his portions that I can’t take on. He mocks my friends and says horrible things about them based on female stereotypes, that aren’t even true, and I have repeatedly put him in his place about this. I’ve also expressed to him that I’m loosing faith in his ability to be a part of our family when we are raising 4 little girls with bright futures, and I don’t want them to hear these comments that essentially resort women to objects. He’s constantly asking for a one sided open relationship, because these YouTubers preach that men aren’t meant to stay loyal, and it’s just their nature or something. His actual friends, who he’s known way longer than these new friends, have also distanced themselves because of his comments about their wives/girlfriends, but he blames me for the distance and says it’s because he gave me too much control in our relationship so they can’t respect him as a man.

Today he wanted to go to the bar with these coworkers after work, but the place they always go is closed. This bar is a 100% female ran bar, and they are closed today because the owner sent them all out of town for a professional development opportunity. My boyfriend was pissed and flipped out about how women ruined his day, and said if they wanted to send someone they could’ve just sent one, but he just knows they all whined and cried that they wanted to go too, like a typical woman. He then got very performative with a fake whining voice that frankly PISSED me off. I’ve never backed down when he acts like this, but he continues to buy into these believes.I told him these new “friends” of his and their influence are about to cost him his family, but he just scoffs. I told him I’m tired of the misogyny, and he can go stay with one of them tonight and see how much better life is without any women in it. I told him he doesn’t need yo ask for an open relationship now, because ours is over, and I hope he has fun sleeping around because it cost him everything we’ve spent the last ten years building together. He says I’m just being a typical dramatic woman, and that I need to just learn my place. He says it’s his fault for not learning to put me in my place sooner. Planning to contact a divorce lawyer this weekend, once I’ve cooled off from being so angry. But emotionally, I’m not okay. I feel like this man is a stranger.

Not matching efforts.

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit let down by a couple of people. One is my cousin in law and one is my friend.

Up until i moved an hour away I was very close to them both and spoke most days and saw them every week or fortnight.
I’m pregnant now (due soon) & I just had a “big” birthday last weekend.
Neither sent a card or came to see me. My partners cousin hasn’t even come to visit we’ve lived here 7 months!

Sometimes it takes days for them to reply and with my partners cousin I feel it’s just empty promises like “oh I’ll come and visit when my car is fixed” or “I’ve been so busy” baring in mind she doesn’t work & her kids are at school full time 🙄

I know what will happen they will all be eager to come over once my baby is born. They will make the effort then won’t they.

I always try and make the effort with friends & family ie send a txt and a birthday card or go and see people regularly. I can understand people matching my efforts and if I didn’t bother with them then I’d expect the same back but it does upset me & I know I can’t change other people’s intentions or efforts. What do I do? I feel if I call them out & say it bugs me they just use loads of excuses or it’ll be awkward afterwards…

How to cope with husband who is struggling with our 2 year old

Is there anyone else out there who is struggling to cope with their partner not being able to cope well with their 2 year old. He can cope in small doses, but when he has to look after her for more than a couple of hours he gets really stressed.
I'm so scared he's going to walk out and I'll be left to be a single mum.

How would you act?

My 2 year old daughter has been refusing to vocally communicate at nursery although she’s a chatter box at home. We have a close relationship with the headmaster and brought it to their attention and agreed on an action plan together with the staff in the room. Last week, a new room lead joined the nursery and was informed by the headmaster of the plan in place. Despite that, on Friday during pick up and without even taking a moment to introduce herself or giving a prior warning she came to me in front of other children and parents and demanded to observe my daughter speak to me immediately. I told her that she might not feel comfortable and that the staff are aware of her condition and have a plan but she ignored me. She finally gave up when more parents came which they had to attend to. Today, dad went to pick up daughter and she did the same thing to him. We both felt ambushed with her “hallway conversation” and that her actions were completely unprofessional and created a stressful environment for our daughter. How would you act if you were us?

I feel so guilty

I snapped on my husband last night. The last two days he decided to go visit his mom’s house (aka: relax away from the chaos) and leave me to take care of our three month old alone. If he was working I wouldn’t care at all, but he literally just decided he’s taking two days off ig. When he finally walked through the door last night I went and locked myself in our room. I told him not to bother me for a god damn thing. He can do dishes he can figure out how to shower, shit, cook and eat all while dealing with our baby and put her to bed and take care of the dogs all of it. I am dealing with PPD and on medication. He tells the world I have PPD but is doing nothing to support me. I said to him “the worst part is I don’t want a break, I want to spend time with my husband and baby. But I need support and the fact I feel like I have to lock myself in my room to get that support is really fucked up.” He didn’t say a word back. I feel so guilty I put all of that on him last night, idek why I just do.

How do you deal with a very bossy toddler?

My toddler wants me to play with her, that’s perfectly fine but the issues is, I can’t do anything. As an example, we were painting together, which was her idea but I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to use the red paint because it was her favourite colour and only she can use it! We were colouring today (again her idea), we started out fine… I chose my colours and she chose hers. That was all fine until half way through where I wasn’t allowed to pick my own colour anyway and she controlled what colour I got and how long I was allowed to use it for. This happens with every activity we do, she controls everything and gets upset when I don’t do it exactly how she wants even when I don’t know that she wanted things done that way. It’s getting to the point where I don’t enjoy playing with her and it makes me so sad because I used to love doing activities with her.

Stupid jokes

My husband makes this joke whenever I go to the grocery store or just to run basic errands for the household. He tells our boys that I’m “going on vacation”. The first time he said it I gave him a fake smile. Now he says it so much my 4 yr old says it and it makes me mad b/c I feel like it’s teaching the boys that being a SAHM isn’t real work and leaving the house for 30 minutes isn’t a real break so idk why he believes that it is. When he’s not at work he’s playing video games and he’s really the one who’s on vacation

No sex in months?

There’s no way this is normal right? For context I caught my husband cheating almost 2 years ago now found out he had a porn addiction and all all that, he’s done good since I have been on top of everything and there has been no issues since then. However, it seems like slowly since then the sex has decreased. After he stopped watching porn it went back to a few times a week, then overtime slowly once a week, then once every few weeks, now we’re at like once a month if that! Since the year started we’ve had sex TWICE. TWICE!! Please tell me I’m not insane and this is ridiculous??? He does not ever initiate. If I initiate I am always turned down so I’ve given up. How does someone go from having an actual addiction to now ZERO? It’s been driving me crazy and I’ve been thinking maybe he went back to it but he’s not even able to access it on his phone and I’ve checked EVERYTHING there is absolutely nothing else going on it’s making me feel like I’m insane.

Finding parenting extra hard after seen new partner?

This might sound terrible and the guilt is eating me up inside but I have met a lovely man who treats me so well, calms my nervous system etc but I can only see him once a week then he is away for a month at a time with work

I find the day or 2 after I have been with him, so hard parenting my 3 year old as I think its just the stark contrast of calm to chaos. I find myself feeling sad and I really really really dont want that. I love my daughter more than anything. Its just so hard going from like feeling like im being looked after for thr first time in my life with an emotionally and phsycially safe man then thrown back into the real struggle of single motherhood in between. It messes with my head, can anyone relate!?

Am I wrong for feeling upset ?

I feel like my husband took a low blow.
Backstory I didn’t get my license until last year before I turned 25 (ik crazy af but my parents and him thought I didn’t need it) anyways I just got my own car in February. I’m still getting used to driving with my four kids by myself in a town we just moved to in December. I have diabetes and sometimes my blood sugars drop when im anxious.

We were listening to miss independent I was joking by saying I was independent. He looked at like you got to be kidding me. He looks at me says “ you definitely are not independent when you can’t even take all four kids with you to a Drs appt” I look at him like he has 6 heads I wanted to say he was stupid af for wanting me to take four kids with me to an appt that was urgent with one of our kids.

Boundaries

For context i have a shit tone if siblings and i'm right in the middle so i have older siblings with their own kids and younger siblings that are still minors and live with my parents.

Anyways, my mother and I got into a fight recently because she doesn't like that we don't let ALL 5 of her kids hold our daughter (7 months) every time we visit and that we pick 1 or 2 of them each time who get to hold her, this way she's not being passed around and helps keep her from getting sick. she also doesn't like that she can't kiss her and that if they put the TV on we take her out of the room. She basically straight up told me that if she babysits at her house she will not honor any of these boundaries and that she "has to deal with the tears after we visit" because the kids apparently cry that they didn't get to hold her? I responded by saying "she's not a babydoll. if the kids cry about it and you don't wanna deal we just won't visit" and we haven't spoken since. this was about a week ago.

Now easter is on sunday and my siblings want us to go and we are debating if we should go or not for their sakes or hold to the boundary of not visiting. advice?

20 month old tantrums are killing me off...

I've done something I very rarely do and dropped my toddler off at my mum's for an hour to go and have a coffee alone. Sleep regression and teething and my periods due is turning me into a pressure cooker of anger atm. It's at the point where we're having 5+ tantrums before breakfast nowadays. One because he doesn't want his morning nappy changed and dressed for the day. Then he doesn't want daddy to go for a shower, he wants him to read books with him. Then because he wants to go downstairs while I'm trying to get dressed and quickly do my hair...then because I wouldn't let him watch teletubbies...then because I said he can't go outside into the wet garden with no jumper or shoes and socks...😭😭
I am... exhausted....
I use half an hour of teletubbies most mornings to allow myself peace to get the cleaning up and prep for the day done but I think I'll have to just say no TV at all anymore because of his behaviour over it. When does it get a tiny bit easier or have I just got an angry little boy....

Overwhelmed

At this point I feel like a single parent. My significant other helps very little. I’m the one who clothes her, change her diaper, feeds her, puts her to bed…he complains he works 10 hours a day to support us and I understand that but I’m screaming for freaking help sometimes. I’m 18 weeks pregnant with our second baby and I handle our daughter 24/7 while he gets to sleep, play his game and go freaking smoke MJ. I feel so stressed, overwhelmed, overstimulated and exhausted. Am I a horrible person to ask for a little help from him??? He makes me feel horrible for even asking him for help or to even watch her for 20 minutes so I can get a damn shower…..I’m so so freaking lost and tired….i feel like nothing is going to change when I have our next baby in August…..