Community Posts, Tips & Support on Parenting

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Unacceptable?

My 42 year old husband went out last night for his friends 40th. Its now almost midday and not only is he not home, but hasn't even contacted me. Im 6 months pregnant and we have a 3 year old. He goes over to that friends every friday night fot a few drinks and stays until usually 2. A couple times hes come home at 630 but never this late. Never apologises. But this feels like blatant disrespect. Im starting to suspect cheating too... what do you guys think?

Feeling so stupid and scared

I feel like i can't tell my husband no. I can tell him I don't want to but for some reason it always keeps going and eventually I give up and try to enjoy it as much as i can. Hes not a bad guy but I have a really hard time resisting him when it comes to it. The problem is I am only 25 days postpartum and we've had sex 3 times already. I know my body isn't ready and I've told him as much. All he does is tell me he'll be gentle. Anyways he finished inside yesterday and I have been a nervous wreck. I am not on birth control yet since i haven'tbeen to my 6 week appointment yet. I got pregnant with our current newborn while breastfeeding and not even having 1 period after our toddler. This most recent pregnancy was very hard on me physically and our newborn is dealing with health issues. I am so scared to get pregnant again. I know its not likely that ive ovulated yet since I am breastfeeding still and haven't stopped my postpartum bleeding yet, but i am still stressing out.

I need someone to talk too

These past 3 days especially today. Have been hard. I really need someone that’s not my mom to talk to right now.

My husband has been mad at me for 3 days now. And I don’t know why. I asked and apologized for things I thought it would be.

Today my son hit his face really hard on a table leg. Call doc they said he fine. I’m still going to go see a doc tomorrow just in case. But nothing I do or that has been said to me helping me claim down. My husband will not talk to me about it. And I know once he see it he only going to get more upset with me. I just need a hug and someone to talk to me. I’m a mess right now. And I’m worried like crazy about my baby.

Husband help

How much should my husband help during the newborn stage? I feel like I’m alway taking care of our son, pumping, diapers, waking up in the middle of the night then cleaning the house, washing dishes, bottles, pumps and the laundry. He work a blue collar job so he doesn’t hold our son till he showers and sometimes he is home for 1-2 hrs before he showers and even then he doesn’t hold our son unless I hand him off. Just feel like I’m doing morning shift and night shift and I’m tired and I don’t know how to get him to help.

Struggling

11 months postpartum and struggling to feel happy. I am working full time from home (I hate my job) and I am also full time childcare. We don't have a village. My husband is sore and tired when he gets home. A lot of times, it's just negative energy in the home. I'm also expecting again. Im so overwhelmed and tired. What can I do? I dont even have time to ride my horses anymore...

What should I do?

So my partner brother and family are flying back to Poland for Christmas

My partner is wanting to go too for Christmas and he has said he’s going with or without me (I have no annual leave left and I don’t want to be away from my son for a week)

We went to Poland this summer and there was about 10 people in one house my son stopped eating and just cried the whole time we was there & I have raised these concerns and all I get is ‘I’m going with or without you’

I’m prepared to end my 9 year relationship with him if he does take him away when I have raised my concerns and said no he’s not going

I have said he can go before or after Christmas I just don’t want him going during Christmas my fav time of year and he knows I do all the bdays and Christmas plan it all out do all the presents get everything ready

It will honestly break me if he takes him

His mum and dad was over while my son was 4 weeks old……phones multiple times couldn’t get hold of him & he was gone for about 5/6hrs when he said he would he 1 - yes he’s apologised for this but he still did it

I don’t know what I can do🥲

I feel bad for hiding my disabled child from a new family my daughter has made friends with.

My twins are 5.5 years old. Last year a little boy named Omar was in their class and formed a close relationship with my daughter. They really care about each other. I was able to set up a playdate in the summer and have another one coming up. I only took my daughter last time because my son does ruin friendships for her. His needs are too high, he whines, he's annoying to others, he often makes is have to go home earlier than we wanted to because he cannot handle the environment. The mom knows I have two kids. I made an excuse not to bring him last time because I didn't want his sister to miss out on the fun activity and I wanted to be able to enjoy the outing also. Taking him could have made that impossible. We have lost friends repeatedly because of my sons behavior, crying ect. Am I a bad mom for wanting him to stay home so his sister can have this? or should I risk it and bring my son knowing there's a chance he won't behave well and his sister may never see this friend she values again?

I don't even know im tired and angry

Who else is a 24/7 mom? Because I really don't want your opinion unless you are one. We are a single income house with two children while we homeschool , and I get absolutely no time alone whatsoever unless you count being asleep alone , in which case I am woken at unnamable times by my toddler as they do. But I am going unimaginably, incredibly insane. I am tired of the constant whining,Crying, needing, and feeding.... anything you can think of a child would need I am the bitch for it. I'm not saying my husband isn't just as exhausted sometimes after he comes home from work, but he immediately sits down to play games or watch TV and gets instantly angry when the kids whine or cry or get too loud for him to be able to play his game or watch TV. And he is screaming and yelling at them. When I have been the one home with it all day and deal with it. 24/7 I don't even watch my own shows anymore. I can't remember the last time I picked up a physical book for myself or anything I actually enjoy that I didn't think twice and wonder if the kids needed something before I did.

Vent session

My child’s father makes me feel so small. He barely does his part but somehow takes moments to make me feel like nothing. I don’t currently drive due to PTSD but I promise I want to start back and know I have to get past it. At this time, he drives our son to school and picks him up. Any chance he gets he tells everyone it’s been so hard on him and tells his bosses and his bosses always respond like “what type of mother doesnt drive.” …. Just always applauding him and saying they feel bad for him. Y’all I do EVERYTHING. Taking our son to school is all he does. Minimum help with finances, doesn’t do anything around the house, nothing. Just plays video games, watches tv, drinks and naps. At this point. I’m ready to be done. Today was the last straw with him making me feel small over driving. I’m gonna get myself together and never look back. He better hope I don’t drive the hell away from him for good.

Deal with something a non mom friend said.

Okay so I'm gonna try and make this a really long story short... So back in October last year, my best friends auntie died, now she wasn't close with her auntie like they hadn't spoken in 10 years her mom and her auntie had a massive fight and just never made up. She was obviously upset as you would be because now she'll never get a chance to get to know her. But at the same time all this was happening it was coming up to a weekend I had planned for another friend to cheer her up... Her husband asked for a divorce 5 days before her birthday in June after being together 12 years married for 2. But because we are all adults and have work and normal lives it took months for us to find a date that worked for everyone to go out do drinks and just a really fun night out to cheer her up!
The 1st friend came to this (I told her she didn't have to if she didn't feel up to it but also I thought it would hopefully help her take her mind of things).
Anyway night went on lost of drinking lots of other drama but basically I had the friend who was getting a divorce crying on the bathroom floor because of everything and while I'm trying to deal with that I have the friend who's auntie died come and try and talk to me. I told her that as soon and I get friend 2 sorted I'd sit and talk with her. Friends 2 dad was on the way to come pick her up so it wouldn't be long.
I get back to the table we were all at and out of no where friend 1 lays in to me about how I haven't been a good friend and I haven't been there for her (because I didn't go down and see her last minute when another mutual friend of ours was the day before even though I wasn't even in the house I was out and busy) and that I always do this and (the part I still think about and still gets to me) 'i use my daughter as an excuse'.
Apparently friend 1 and our mutual friend have felt like this for a while but never said anything, I got to speak with the mutual friend and we are all good we talked it out and all is great with us.
I never got to speak to friend 1 because the day after all this happened we found out my mom had cancer and friend 1 wasn't in a good place either with her auntie so I wanted to wait until all of that had passed, then she had the stress of buying a house with her boyfriend and there has always been something that has just not made it a good time but I still think about it and I dont know how to just let it go!
Like she now has a 8 month old puppy so is starting to understand the not having time for anything! But it just really got to me the 'i use my child as an excuse' when she has no bloody idea how hard it is and probably won't either because her partner is a teach so he's home in the evenings and weekends when my husband is a chef so works evenings and weekends so I don't get the extra helps then.
But am I over reacting and should I just let it go or is this something that would annoy you as well?
I know I said I'd make it long story short but that's as short as I can make it with context that is needed.....

Am I overthinking?

Yesterday evening when getting my 20 months old boy ready for bath, I noticed 2 significant bruises on his lower back towards the bottom. He's been at the nursery all day and didn't have those bruises in the morning before dropping him off.

So of course some alarms start ringing in my head. I took pictures and sent them to the nursery asking what happened and how come I wasn't informed of the incident.

Their response was that nobody saw anything, little one was absolutely fine all day, didn't cry or anything so they're unsure how the bruising occurred. He was involved in normal activities like singing reading playing in the sand etc but nothing particularly stands out.

Tbh he had some small bruises in the past that again had gone unnoticed and their responses were the same.

Now I get that children can sustain accidental injuries and don't want to assume anything bad had happened, but I can't help it, my brain inevitably thinks that.

What would you do in this situation? Would you let it go? Would you escalate it further to ofsted maybe? Or am I simply overreacting?

P.s. little one is happy at the nursery and no longer cries at drop offs or pick ups.

How do you have time for anything?

Babies just turned 4 months. My OH works from home for himself mon-thurs (maybe 6 hours max a day) we have a toddler that goes to nursery tues-thurs and we get help from my MIL on Mondays. And even then, finding the time to clean/eat/wash clothes/walk dogs etc is impossible. How on earth do people do it?

I feel like I'm running on fumes and wanting to strangle my husband at the weekend for not pulling his weight.

Rant

So basically my partner has a sister that lives an hour away and when we have gone I’ve felt really pushed out and left behind I try to insert myself into conversations ect but it doesn’t really do anything and I’m always left to watch my daughter and her daughter while they talk or go for a smoke ect so I stopped going. Today I decided to go but I wanted to go to the park so I wouldn’t feel as left out bc I have something to do and everyone is in the same space and it was agreed upon yesterday now she’s saying she can’t be bothered to go now! Would it be rude of me to go there and just take my daughter to the park or go on a walk without them because all I do is try with her but I get nothing back and I don’t see the point in going if I’m gonna be ignored and be a babysitter.

absent sezuires

hello i have a 6 yr old daughter took her driscoll neurologist there told she had absent seizures gave me ethosuximide 2 times a day starting 2ml week one 3ml week 2 and 4ml for the rest of time i got a appt with a neurologist this week but i new he was not good even the nurse from my pcp said he was not good i saw him was really rude change my medcine to 3 times a day 3ml at 7am 2ml at 4 and at 10 3ml he did the eeg came out thst is was working the medication i told him that schedule doesnt work she goes to school bedtime is at 8:30 if we can leave it at twice a day if she is still getting the same ah day 8ml and ssaid that the way i work am going to change dr because he really rude but they all have until jan 2027 how should i follow the medication like the dricoll dr or that dr thst i saw yestoday any mommas who can relate that have taken ethosuximide

Please read if you can 🥹🥹

I’d love some opinions please! 😅 I was seeing a guy and we recently fell out, so I told him I’d give him some space. We’re meant to have a weekend together next week, but when I asked whether it was still happening so I could arrange childcare, he responded quite bluntly and gave me an ultimatum. I didn’t engage with it and reiterated that I was giving him space.

It’s now been a week and I need to know whether next weekend is actually happening so I can sort childcare. Would you message him and ask directly, or leave it because he already knows the weekend is meant to be happening and that I need to arrange childcare?

I'm kinda going to miss it just being the two of us

I'm 19 weeks and I was just thinking how it's going to be quite the change for my husband and I when the time comes (around February). We get along perfectly and I don't have any worries about us transitioning to parenthood.
It's just I'm going to miss snuggling before we sleep through the night. Going out on a whim and take no time to get ready; only putting my shoes on and heading out. Staying out late whenever or driving an hour out to try our luck at the slots. Or going to the bar for dinner and coming back home to watch anime with more brewskis.

But we did plan this and I have zero regrets. We get to start a family and that feels more fulfilling to me than partying with my husband all the time. It'll just be sometimes after my little man doesn't need me as much lol.

I don't regret anything especially with how much support we have. I'm anticipating a big change and I think it's valid I feel that way.

My Sorry BD and His Overbearing Mother

Just for a lil backstory, me and my bd are 19 and 21. I broke up with him at 5 months because he was lazy and had no drive. He blamed that on being on house arrest although he was still allowed to work. I moved out from his place at 7 months cause it got worse and I was close to delivering. He eventually got off house arrest and two weeks later I had our son (at 34 weeks). Within those couple weeks, he called me the N word (he’s white) and things have never been the same. My bd and his mother are the most narcissistic people I’ve ever met. He constantly hounds me about getting back together and being a family that it’s got to the point where I only talk to him about our son. ANYWAYY, his great uncle passed recently and his family held a small memorial and he wanted to take our son. I’ve never met that extended family. He wanted to take him across state lines on the longest drive he’s ever been on. And my son is still 6 weeks and was born premature. When I told my bd no he made it seem like I was absolutely insane. He said things like my dad makes it hard for him to be a father because my dad doesn’t like him for what he said and he’s not allowed at our apartment AT ALL. I told him no when I was at work and his mom was babysitting. When she dropped him off, she asked when she can pick him up for the memorial. I told her me and my bd were still discussing it. When I cussed him out and told him he needs to tell his mom they’re not taking him, she felt the need to text me for an explanation cause ig he didn’t give her one. My own mother told me I need to communicate with her cause my bd isn’t and my dad is blaming me for ever making my bds mom feel like she has the right to ask. I don’t think I have a neutral person to tell me how exactly to handle both my bd and his mother. Thank you for reading me venting and any and all advice is helpful.

I feel broken

My BD came in the room while I was at work (I work at home) today and said he’s going to his friends house to get some weed. I didn’t think anything of it. I got off and notice he still wasn’t back. It was like 2.5 hrs later. Something told me to call him and he didn’t answer. I called him like 2-3 more times. He still didn’t. Which is weird. Something else told me to check his call log. I looked up some of the numbers from the last few days and they were connected to prostitutes. I was sick! I was so mad. These were from Tuesday! Then when he came back something told me to look again and it updated to more recent calls and there was one right after he left the house. I felt so sick to my stomach! Like Jesus. If you want to do that be alone and don’t endanger my health! He then got mad when I brought it to him and fought my 18 yr old son and I. I have the biggest headache and don’t even want to tell anyone I know so I’m venting here.

15 month old is really starting to challenge me

My son who is almost 16 months is getting really challenging for me. A lot of the stuff he does is not that bad in comparison to others I understand but it's challenging for me. I'm having a baby in 2.5 weeks and have been on maternity leave for a week and it's just gotten increasingly harder. He only took one 20 minute nap today and threw a tantrum to stay awake after. He is standing in the bath (he doesn't stand on his own yet) and is trying to play with the bath faucet (it is covered.) I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or if I'm overreacting. Today was just really hard with him and I'm getting worried about what's gonna happen when the baby comes. I'm open to advice but just mainly venting.

How do you guys feel about daycare?

I have two kids my oldest son only went to daycare for about 5months we took him out because we didn’t like some of the workers there. There was two guys there my husband didn’t feel comfortable letting around our son. One of them kissed our son on the lips one time saying good bye and my husband lost it. Since then we took him out. Now I have my daughter who’s 18 months I had put her on the list to receive child care since before she was even born the waiting time is really long where I am. The daycare my son went to before reached out saying they have a spot available for my daughter at one of their different locations. My husband doesn’t want our daughter in daycare and I personal don’t want that either because she is very attached to me. She literally will not go to anyone else if someone try’s to walk towards her she cry’s bad. I’m a stay at home mom right now and some of my husbands family(mostly his grandparents and aunts have been on my case about not sending her to day care and me go to work) and even some of my family have been on my case about it to. When I try to explain to them I just don’t feel comfortable with her going they start harassing me. My husband tells them off when they say it around him, thats why they only have the balls to harass me(we have no financial difficulties although the extra money would be nice). So what should I do. The daycare lady said they’d give me a week to decide.