Motherhood
  • Incognito
  • over 1 year ago

I cry every time I feed my baby

It's been 2 weeks since I gave birth to this little fella and although I love him dearly, I get angry with him every 3-4 hours. He doesn't latch very well when we try to breastfeed. It's not just his fault, I have funny nipples that don't seem to poke out enough for him to get far enough in his mouth to suck. I've tried everything, nipple shields, pumps, expressing, weird positions. Nothing seems to work and I get furious every time I try. So we formula feed. Every time I look at him with a bottle in his mouth my heart sinks and I'm reminded of what a failure I am, that I can't do the most instinctive motherly thing, feed my baby. I try to pass him off to my husband but he complains that he always does it. I've been told by the midwife to offer the boob at every feed before giving him a bottle and I can honestly say that maybe 2 out of 10 times he has stayed there long enough to stop crying and screaming for food, although hes not actually getting anything and we still have to give him 3 ounces of formula after to keep him fed. I've been referred to a lactation specialist but they're only doing consults over zoom. How are you supposed to show your babys latch over zoom? I'll have to have my husband be camera man and move my phone over my shoulder for them to see what's going on. But the question going forward is, where do I draw the line? Do I carry on this painful, heartbreaking journey? Or do I give up and just accept that I will never be good enough to feed him the way I'm supposed to? If I let my milk supple dry up will I regret it months down the line? If I carry on pumping the 4 oz I get in a day in hopes to increase/keep a milk supply, will I ever be able to leave the house in fear of missing a pump? I hate this! I thought that breastfeeding would be a breeze and my baby would love me and I would love him because we have this unbreakable bond that breastfeeding has given us. But I can't even bond with my baby because I'm full of resentment. When do I give up? Will I be happy with my choice? And if I don't, when do things get better?
  • A
  • over 1 year ago

I had my baby 2 weeks ago and I had the same thing happen! I cried in the hospital one night because she was so hungry and frustrated she would not latch and ever since has refused to. Luckily I had an amazing nurse in the room who comforted me and let me know it was ok to formula feed if I needed to (I had already tried everything by then including syringe feeding and meeting with multiple lactation consultants) I continued to pump until a few days ago when I decided I wanted to stop because it was taking over my life and I’m already so exhausted. I’ve been saving my breast milk and freezing it in the few pump sessions I do (to relieve pressure) and honestly I’m so much happier. I can sleep without a bra again and I don’t cry every time I try to latch her and she doesn’t scream from the process. Another thing to consider is that they say even if you stop pumping/breastfeeding you can pick up again if you change your mind by starting the pump again, your supply will just take time

  • M
  • over 1 year ago

You tried mama. A fed baby is a happy baby! Don't be so hard on yourself. Head up, mama

  • E
  • over 1 year ago

I’m formula feeding my 6 week old. We tried breast while in hospital (had a 3 day stay after he was born) but we couldn’t get positioning right and I know he wasn’t feeding enough. He had a test for jaundice and I was advised to feed him up to help so that’s when I switched to formula and been on formula ever since. Being on my own in hospital also badly affected me and the struggle with trying to breast feed made me feel worse. He’s a happy healthy boy and to me that’s far more important.

  • B
  • over 1 year ago

my baby didn't latch so we had to use a nipple shield, little messy but worked for us!

  • c
  • over 1 year ago

please don’t be too hard on your self your baby is getting milk either way. Please don’t be guilty about formula feeding. I can’t BF as I have never made enough milk and I have seen how happy and thriving they all are and have been

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