Motherhood
  • E
  • 10 months ago

Can attachment increase at 4.5 months if it’s weak?

Maybe I’m taking it too personally, but I’m worried my baby girl isn’t attached to me. She rarely smiles at me and I have to work SO hard for it. She smiles at her daddy way more often. When I’m playing with her, sometimes she interacts with me, but other times she’s way more interested in objects and I can’t get her attention. It’s like 50/50. With attachment theory, can it increase at her age (almost 5 months) as we keep spending time together or is there like a window of attachment happening that’s closed?
  • J
  • 10 months ago

I’m an FTM but I’m also a therapist. I would say quality of attachment can always improve across the lifespan! It is particularly significant within the first year of life though.

  • J
  • 10 months ago

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just keep attuning to her cues, which I’m sure you already are!

  • E
  • 10 months ago

Thank you so much for sharing! Do you think it’s a sign of weak attachment that she doesn’t smile at me often? It’s so hard to know how else to measure it at this age!

  • L
  • 10 months ago

Don’t forget that babies/ toddlers are more likely to smile at strangers than at you because it’s a ‘show’, a defence mechanism. They don’t feel the need to with the people they are most comfortable with.

  • E
  • 10 months ago

Oh that’s so interesting! Thank you!

  • L
  • 10 months ago

she’s beautiful my LG saves her best smiles for her daddy, brother, grandad and pops! i think it’s to do with the tone of their voice! but your baby loves you very much! xx

  • L
  • 10 months ago

baby starts forming their bond with you from in the womb! honestly she loves you so much already xx

  • E
  • 10 months ago

Thank you!!💛

  • J
  • 10 months ago

I would recommend ‘The book you wish your parents had read’ it has great ideas for building attachment with baby/toddler/child

  • E
  • 10 months ago

Thanks for the recommendation!!!

  • R
  • 10 months ago

Some clever person on here explained it's because baby sees you as an extension of herself, and it clicked for me. Until they see you as a separate person they're not that interested, because you're just an extended part of them! Not that they don't love you, but you're so special as to be so close to them that you're one and the same, if you get me?

  • E
  • 10 months ago

I love that, that makes so much sense!! Thank you!💛

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