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Discipline

Any tips on disciplining my child if she uses physical force on me or anyone else? (she’s only four months but i would like some advice for the future) i never want to have to put my hands on her as punishment. ever. i do not want my child to obey out of fear, any advice would be much appreciated
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My child is nearly 11 months and shes comes up to us and smacks us. She learned it from the neighbor's ( we share a garden) so we move her away and say no. She normally does it for attention if we are sitting on the sofa so we move her away from the sofa and say no you can have a cuddle once you stopped smacking. If shes throwing her toys then we put her into her pram for a few minutes to chill out then we say that we cant throw toys and they will break. I know she doesnt understand at the moment but she will one day. I would never lay a finger or raise my voice as it will scare her and i dont want to make the situation worse

2 replies

what is a pram?

Stroller

As infant redirection is your best bet. Any kind of “hitting” introduce “gentle touches”. In my toddler classroom we call them gentle or nice hands. When I taught infants I just repeated the word “nice” as I hand over hand showed them to gently touch others. You’d be surprise how young a child can pick up in right and wrong. Consistency it key

A common technique used with young kids is good touch and bad touch. Offer praise and teach good touches rubbing an arm, petting a head, hugs, etc. And bad touches are hitting, pulling hair, etc. If you don't want to spank, time outs. You have to do it consistently. A general guideline for timeout is one minute per age.

Highly recommend the Instagram page @biglittlefeelings

My daughter is 21 months. She hits occasionally, i lower my voice (not raise) and make a sad face, i hold her hands and say hitting hurts mummy. She gets upset and sometimes cries, i then give her a cuddle and say gentle hands and show her how with hand over hand. Also distraction. She kicks on nappy changes too, i say the same 'kicking hurts mummy' and then distract her with a toy i have near. Consistency is key.

thank u ladies

Could just be a phase, they learn something new everyday

Many/most kids will try out hitting and throwing or pushing or whatever at some point, remember that even for older kids, they are new here, they don’t have skills to get what they need in many situations and use whatever tools they have (which sometimes can be hitting). We try to really work on recognizing what they are trying to express and helping them get that need met in a more appropriate way (could be so many things, biting can be caused by teething and needing a teether, hitting can be caused by frustration and you can teach them to ask for a turn, depends on the situation. Remember that hitting is pretty normal for kids (not all kids do but many try it out), treat it as a step in learning rather then a huge deal

If you can try and find the solihul training. It looks at alternatives ways of working with your child and also getting parents to view their child's behavior differently so instead of seeing your child being naughty try looking at what their behavior is trying to say especially when they are young and can't really verbalise how they feel

When my son was young we would take his hands away and tell him no. He would get so pissed off then after a few times he would stop hitting.

We say no thank you. But at 4mos when she hurts me i would say a firm no. If she bit me id give her a teether. I would put her down and walk away if it continued. Eventually her physically abusing me makes me completely insane. But try not to react because thats why theyre doing it..to see your reaction.

My daughter will be 1 the 30th and has started to hit and pull hair I say no stern or scary like noooo and give her a look and she gets the point to stop bc mommy doesnt like it

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