Am I being overly sensitive?

It looks fine to me 🤷‍♀️

God she’d have heart failure in my house in comparison to yours 🤣🤣

my god i wish my house was this 'messy'🤣🤣 your house is lovely and even if it was a tip, it's none of her business! you're soooo not being overly sensitive, how bloody dare she!

How RUDE. Your house is gorgeous! My mum will help with the washing up or sweep or something when she comes round but it’s genuine helpfulness, bringing a bucket of cleaning supplies as if you’re living in dirt and grime is crazy

Omg I needed this reaction! My partner just says “it was nice of her, you just want to be offended” no that literally is offensive🥲🥲🤣

Your MIL is an asshat. She’d have a shit fit in my house and I’ve not even given birth yet 😂

Sounds like my momma! lol and I am slowly turning in to her. She loves a clean and minimal aesthetic and keeps colors neutral BUT that’s no excuse to comment on someone else’s home and especially make you feel bothered. Perhaps attempt talking to her and tell her how her comments make you feel? Boundaries and respect are huge! Should she defend her actions instead of acknowledging how they make you feel and make change, then boundaries can be established. Orrrr… you can get use to it. I have lol

Even when my house is messy (pretty much daily) I’d be bloody offended if someone rocked up with their own cleaning products without pre agreement!

Aka have a serious conversation and talk to your husband about it as well. He can step in and help. Or limit her visitations etc. don’t let yourself be walked over.

I would suggest setting a boundary. No comments on the cleanliness of your home please and do not clean unless you have specifically asked her. Maybe even tell her that you're a little sensitive about the topic so she doesn't get angry/argumentative/etc on you. Set that boundary momma!!!

Your house is super tidy and clean!

tell her to suck an egg and hire a maid

My mother in law is the same, she always brings cleaning supplies when I have loads of my own and hoovers everything!! I’m also torn whether it’s helpful or offensive 😂 now whenever she comes round I’m made to feel like I have to deep clean the place! She also goes on about all the clutter but we live in a flat with no storage like where am I meant to put everything!!!

Im jealous of your tidy ness and cleanliness. It’s your house and if you’re happy then it’s perfect. A woman ( who is a grandmother) I worked with years back said to me once. “ The amount of time you have with your kids is so limited and flies by so fast. I wish had spent less time cleaning the house and more valuable time with my kids when they were young. So now I spend every minute I can with the grandkids and clean up the mess when they’ve gone home. “ So for me I try to enjoy life while it’s here and I do the amount of clean up that I feel is right for our family. You’re doing great Mama! She’s way out of place and being very disrespectful. Good luck with the conversation about boundaries. What a lot of in-laws forget is that we are the people that their kids CHOSE as family. Them disrespecting you is also them disrespecting their own child’s choices. If she can’t trust the child she raised that failure is on her NOT YOU.

For only coming around every couple of months and finding it necessary to make comments on your cleanliness (your house looks clean to me) every time she does show up, and goes so far as to start cleaning ur home, i take that as an insult. Especially since your home looks clean already as is. Doesnt she have better stuff to do when you only see her like 6 times a year… Like play with her grandkids and spend quality time catching up with her daughter in law and son. If your house actually looked dirty this would be an entirely different story and maybe she genuinely just would want to help out and clean up for the sake of all of you guys. But your house is completely fine🙄 she sounds like shes trying to make you look bad or compete with you or something.

Wow. Your house looks like a lovely, lived in but tidy home. You can’t keep it like a sterile show home - you have kids! And who wants to live like that anyway? You are absolutely justified in your feeling. Your home is YOUR sanctuary, to be maintained by YOU the way that YOU desire. It’s not hers to clean, whether her adult son is living there or not. And certainly not without your permission. If I was living the way you are and someone was implying my house needed cleaning, I’d be furious and quite firm with them. It sounds like she is trying to exert some control and retain relevance and usefulness. I do understand that as parents get older they can sometimes feel displaced, without utility. Offering her up an area of your shared life that you DO need help with may shift her focus whilst helping her maintain a feeling of importance in your life. …contd…

…contd… It also might help if you can change the narrative. Currently, she’s exerting control… but if she knows you see that as an act of subservience, she might stop? Could you say something like… “I love you and I deeply appreciate your efforts to contribute to the cleanliness of our home. You’re very good at maintaining a beautiful house - but it’s making me feel slightly undermined and displaced as a woman in my own home. I really know that’s not your intention. I also don’t like the fact that a woman I respect and admire is conducting unnecessary acts of labour for us. You have a great many skills and I’m here to ask for your help in another area - it would mean so much to me if instead of cleaning our home, you might consider teaching me —X— (insert skill here) / looking after our child when you come over instead.” Good luck with this!! It would drive me bonkers and you’ve done well to keep your cool thus far! 💕

My mum is the same shes always cleaning my house, if we go away for the weekend she sneaks in and cleans 🤣 I am both offended and glad she does it at the same time. But my mum is a clean freak and we have lots of pets so I can clean and 6hours later it's like I never touched it.