Advice on leaving baby
**please don’t judge or moan at my circumstances, I know they aren’t good but that’s just how it is atm**
So I’ve been offered a days work tomorrow however the dad has never had baby longer than 45 mins and that was when baby was only a month or two old and slept the whole time. Now baby is 4 months and requires a lot more involvement. Being completely honest I do everything for baby on a day to day basis. I’ve left him with mother-in-law for half hour before and baby loved it. I’m more nervous at the thought of leaving baby with dad because he has very little experience, I know he’s the dad and should be capable of looking after baby but I’m very nervous as I’d be out 12 hours and have never left baby for that long and the dad panics and doesn’t always know what to do to comfort. Tried to talk to the dad because I’m very worried for multiple reasons but he won’t talk and doesn’t see why I need reassurance with any of the situation.
I haven’t got any way of anyone else having baby tomorrow. Honestly could do with the money from this days work but the idea of leaving baby with dad is making me nervous.
Is this normal separation anxiety? Any advice would be great
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I wanna trust him it’s just difficult because every time I ask him to do anything for baby when I’m here there’s always an excuse as to why he can’t and he doesn’t have the most patience and doesn’t seem to click when baby is tired or hungry etc
It’s a one off shift for now through a friend which is offering a decent amount of money that I can’t really say no to as it would only be work now and then but well worth the hours and if I say no he’s unlikely to keep offering it to me😕
I’m thinking I might do fridge method for the bottles etc and get clothes and nappies etc easily accessible so he doesn’t struggle to find anything he needs.
I’m desperate for him to be more involved in looking after him so I can have time to work or even have a shower on my own more often….
Normally he moans if he try and keep telling him how to do it all but when he’s never done it it’s hard not to micromanage and worry😅
I’m actually relieved someone else is the same 😅
I’m hoping if he has baby he will be slightly more understanding when I ask him to have baby for 10 minutes so I can shower or have a minute to myself. Just nervous it’s gonna go horribly wrong and I won’t be able to just come in and help. But I’m also hoping that because he hasn’t got me to just pass baby to it will give him chance to bond and realise he can do it on his own. Just would be nice for him to give me reassurance or even say he will keep me updated but he doesn’t see the point in reassuring me which has made it so much worse 😕
I agree with that you should trust him more and have him more involved, it’s gonna strengthen their connection. Man love what they invest into (time, energy, $, etc.). But leaving them for 12 hours straight unprepared.. idk.. you decide if it’s worth it. Baby may really be stressed and want mama.
Honestly, how you describe your baby dad sounds just like my ex who’s a narcissist. Idk if this helps, sorry. Mine played with my daughter 2hours max and then had a mental breakdown lol.
Unless he’s given you reason to believe he isn’t safe, you just need to trust him. I understand you saying he’s not done much but when it’s just him he’ll have to. It might do him the world of good to have that one on one time. He’s dad, he has to do it eventually so I’d just get to done now.
I think finding someone else instead would be telling Dad that you don’t trust him and cause even more problems.
Download the Peanut App
