Please read ...don't know what to think..should I just go or Apologize for bringing it up

Hey sis. It doesn’t seem like he wants to be with you. You deserve to be loved fully. Please know that. You will heal from this and move on, and your kids will be better off for it. Sending you love. ❤️

@Zainab even from his first message he sent me this morning? He also convinced me to move south with him again after I left and had everything moved in with my family...he gets triggered so easily and just jumps to end everything I don't understand... it hurts so badly.

@Riley yeah I know...I don't understand why I keep giving him chances and than he acts like it's me and he doesn't want me anymore. If I didn't have kids with him it would be so much easier 😢😢 I need help

I totally get how kids can change a lot of things, but as a child from a broken home, they may be better off seeing you separated. I was finally able to see a side of my parents that was genuinely happy once they split and it taught me that I deserve to be in a healthy relationship no matter what.

If he is so upset with being with you, then he clearly won’t treat you well or prioritize you at all. You’re worth more than that.

He doesn’t want to be with you girl, leave it to rest.

You sound toxic. Maybe get some help and go to therapy to deal with how unpleasant your life is. This man is at working trying to provide for your family and you and you are constantly pointing your fingers in these text messages at him and all you seem do no is play the blame game and he's tired of playing sad for your kids. When in reality you can tell you both actually do want to fix this. Try couples counseling or something try learning to communicate. This is sad.

Never let someone tell you they don’t want you more than once , he doesn’t respect you and if you stay your kids will see that . It’s better to be in a home where your parents are separated then a broken home with parents who can’t stand each other

@paige how do I sound toxic? I only react to his actions that he keeps doing over and over with his constant lies. Just because a man works doesn't mean that he gets a free pass to do whatever I basically work to being a stay at home mom to our kids it's not just my kids they are his too.

I wasn't hesitant about this post because it's hard for some people to take accountability for certain actions especially when they are in a negative way of thinking just go on about your life. Go on about your life keep doing what your doing and I hope you get the results that you are hoping for especially for your kids benefits.

@paige 🥴🥴you aren't making any sense. If you're referring that I don't take accountability and I have a negative way of thinking you must need to reread what I had said. I'm sure if your partner did things behind your back and continue to lie about it you wouldn't feel postive??? Wtf not take accountability for his wrong doings and not have a bad reaction I mean how do you react to that.... 🥴

I would leave him alone. I think the more you say to him, the more he is backing away from you. Getting him to care and getting over him are going to consist of the same steps.. you being independent and moving on.

the man is literally saying I'm working right now and than you are continually to say but you you you.. just like how you are rebuttling me for disagreeing with you and not telling you that I think you are in the right cause I don't think you are. I don't think he is either but we have responsibilities especially when others are depending on us regardless of how we may feel those come first not arguments and confirmations. He is getting so frustrated he is saying I'm done like do you truly want that. I mean seriously do you really think that. Do you really want to destroy this family don't you enjoy being a stay at home.mom don't you want a happy home if so time to change what you guys are doing grow the f up. And do it. Stop playing stupid games imagine if he actually fell of the ladder you would be so bummed can you imagine how much guilt you would have when all this could have been avoided by just you guys just living playing your roles and doing what you gotta do for your children

@paige I get what you're saying but that's why I stated when he gets home I would like to have a conversation he was the one that wanted to continue the conversation and you can't continue to live as a family when one of the partners is doing such behind your back. Plus I never am trying to have you agree with me??? Lol I just think that you're coming from a very weird place and don't understand abuse I'm sure you live in a perfect little world and are naive to some things that you shouldnt speak upon and give your advice/input but thank you

@Shore yeah I am sure you're right. It sucks that voicing my hurt to someone that seems to purposely hurt me continously I guess I have to much hope for something that isn't to be hopeful for... I agree on trying to become more independent as of now I am just not sure how with a newborn and pregnant

Lol girl I'm 34 I definitely have lived life I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years in my 20.s but I can tell you alot of that could have been avoided if my mind state was different and his was as well. I had to go to therapy and learn things that I helped contribute to the that relationship that made it toxic. Wether it's this guy or someone else we have to work on ourselves to have healthy relationships we have to learn to take accountability for our parts of what we do. Example when they guy gets off work the last thing he probably wants to do is deal with the issues I know in our minds we are like wanting to get It fixed right away but imagine if you are working all day come home and all you want to do is be appreciated and going out there and working for working for your family and wouldn't it be so nice for him to give you that love like thank you for watching the kids all day just because you gave him a little kindness and respect and in return he gives you what you need.

I don't think this sounds healthy for anyone involved.
You both have choices and decisions to make - whether you accept the situation and stay, or you move on. Neither of you can force the other to change if they do not want to.

As for moving forward, it may feel like options are limited but there are always steps that can be taken. One decision at a time.
Work out what options are available and begin pursuing them rather than focusing on what is not possible.
The hardest step will be the first one.
Each decision will then start that journey to more choices and confidence as you regain independence.

The suggestions he's giving (renting a car, having someone collect you, shipping belongings, co-parenting) while not necessarily pleasantly presented or simple to action, could all be that first decision that you can then navigate from.

@paige Well if that's true too bad you don't come from a more understanding part. With that being said when would be a good time to discuss things that are betrayal to your partner? I am 25 so maybe I have learning to do. I know I'm not perfect by no means but I never been in a relationship where I've been so disrespected. Before this guy I was in a relationship for 8 years. He never had called me out of my name like this guy does and ofc he is the one I'm stuck with the next 18years because we have children together. I meant him right after that relationship.. which was a red flag for me I wish I took time to heal and I guess I have to suffer now just don't know how to fix it for my kids

I do understand because I have been in your shoes. If you want to choose to live your life and be mad all the time and dwell than that's how life will be for you. Or you can go choose to be proactive taking steps to make positive changes. Therapy can help you figure out positive path and techniques to deal with what your going thru. Find things out about yourself like what are our boundries are you someone who needs to take a breather before finsihing a conversation etc.. if you want I mean really want it to work with him and he really wants it work with you know relationships take a ton of work. Be creative and find a positive place wether be a counselor a church or maybe go to a couple who has been married for a long time and discuss and be open about what you guys are going thru eventually when you learn to communicate effectively you won't need help from someone else you will be able to talk to each other openly and honestly.

Things take time to build remember that It takes consistent work tons of patience alot of forgiveness empathy love compassion.

It definitely sounds like you’re in a vicious circle of toxic behavior on both ends. I would have stopped texting when he said he was at work and gave you both time to think and try to have a productive conversation. He may not totally mean what he says but deep down inside he definitely has resentment. If you both don’t do therapy at the very least I don’t see things getting any better. Sorry you’re going through this.

Wow I’m so sorry your going through this he sounds like big time a hole. He doesn’t appreciate what he has and just wants out. It’s like he can’t comprehend or just doesn’t want to make you feel better. I think it is best to leave or wait like 2/3 days. But it sounds like he wants you to go/ got stressed when u started talking abt not trusting him and wanting his passwords. Unfortunately if he’s a cheater he’s probably always going to be :/.

Leaaaave him he isn’t the one I promise

He doesn't want to be with you. It seems like you are begging him. It's sad, I know how hard it is. I know that you're hoping things will change but they won't. You shouldn't have to beg a man to want to be with you and be faithful and honest. I'm sorry you're going through this but seriously you should take him up on his offer to help you move. It will be hard but eventually you will be glad you left