Getting back to things

It’s 5 weeks since my miscarriage. I was off work for 3 weeks and went back last week and this week. However I couldn’t go in today, I didn’t bother with phased return as I thought I was ok. Last night I was full of sadness. And pain. I’m surrounded by babies. Pregnant mums. People having miscarriages people getting abortions. All the time in my job. In fact on my return one of my clients is newly pregnant and one of them had miscarriage. And the amount of staff just generally asking if I’m ok daily (different people each time) where they haven’t seen me. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. But I think how will I continue. Maybe I went back too early . I don’t know. I just crave to see that positive test again 😢it just truly hurts 💔 Does it get easier ? Did I go back to early? Will k be able to cope ? And I just continue to think why me

Show your support

Things will get better. It just takes time. I had a MC in December and returning back to work knowing two girls at my work are pregnant within a few weeks different to what I would of been has been hard but I’ve just tried to look at the positives. I’m here if you need a chat xx

I am so sorry you went through that and are still going through it on a daily basis. I had a miscarriage myself with my first baby and it was emotionally hard. Definitely while seeing pregnant women and babies etc. What helped me though is a reminder that you are grieving, and it takes a while. Everyone grieves in a different way. You take your time and tell yourself that it’s okay! I felt it helpful to tell people what I just went through and that I’m struggling emotionally. Not because I wanted them to feel sorry for me but because you never realize how many women went through the same thing and they all went through it in silence. It really does help to have people be there for you. You need to care for yourself especially in these times. It does eventually pass. The sadness passes and you accept the loss but never forget. I got pregnant with my rainbow baby later on and that kind of moved me on.

I don’t recommend taking time off work and staying home, as you will feel more sadness from my personal experience. But maybe taking time off and seeing family would be a good idea. That’s what I did and it felt nice.

Always here if you ever need a chat xx

Remember your hormones are also still shifting. It’s like being in postpartum regardless of how long you carried your body and hormones are adjusting to not having it, maybe doing a little ritual or ceremony to honour the spirit and that version of you that you would have been so you can grieve and move forward in a way that doesn’t just pretend it didn’t happen because it did and your feelings are valid. Take the time you need to rest and nourish yourself properly give yourself all the good things in life and remember your body isn’t broken. 💕

It sounds tough that you’re working with pregnant women/ women that have miscarriages. I think it’s hard to get the reminders. I definitely struggled a bit with seeing pregnant women/ friends/ colleagues after my mc. And it sounds like you can’t get away from that at work, so that’s probably harder than returning to a different job. I returned to teaching a week after mc and it was definitely hard, but got through the days by telling myself when I could grieve again always/ making time for it every day. I also got support from this charity https://www.sayinggoodbye.org/get-support/ and loved ‘the baby loss guide’ by Zoe Clark-Coates, a book with daily grief processing exercises, etc… it will get easier/ you will get stronger with time x

It takes time. Don’t ever feel like you have to be brave and strong. If you want to cry then cry. You’ll have good days and some days it’ll hit you hard but with time… it does get easier but you’ll never forget. I had a miscarriage in September last year and my sister was pregnant at the same time - 1 day behind me so that was really hard. I’m now nearly 15 weeks pregnant. Sending you love xx

Aw I’m sorry. I had a month off when I had mine and then returned to a job where I was also surrounded by pregnant women and babies, seeing birth etc (I’m a midwife), it was hard, I remember having tears in my eyes caring for a woman in labour because I was so sad for myself (luckily I had a competent student that shift). It does get easier, if you’re able to talk to your colleagues then do. Feel free to message me too as it sounds like we work in similar environments.x

Everyone deals with it differently, staying off work would make me worse tbh. I’ve had 4 consecutive miscarriages and 3 D&C’s plus blood transfusion. I had 2 days off work, one day being surgery day and then got back, it helped me cope with the loss and my mental health. Although after my 4 th I had a week off because I was just numb, went back to work to take my mind off it. You need to find what helps you deal with it. Sorry for your loss xx

That sounds tough. You will find a way to cope. There will be days where it is harder than others. Took me over a year before I got pregnant again and now that I have my rainbow child, I still have moments where I remember and hurt. You don’t forget you just kind of move on.

It does get better but is different for everyone. I had about 8 weeks off after mine (the last 2 were a pre booked holiday) and I spent that time in a deep depressive hole hiding from the world. It took a long time for me to be able to go back - I work in health visiting so was around a lot of babies and pregnant women like you and it was really hard for a while,even after all that time off. But I am pregnant again now (had a chemical in between the two also) and although very anxious, feeling quite positive this time

Hello ladies, thank you so so much for all your kind and helpful comments it really has helped 🤍🤍

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌