Advice??
Show your support
I’d just say ‘oh just be careful I was reading ‘so and so’’. But at the end of the day it is her choice so I wouldn’t push it & just leave her to it after saying what you’ve read once. I’ll admit I’m probably more like your friend 🤣 i definitely didn’t follow all the guidelines and have been very relaxed but I wouldn’t have been offended by people saying things they’d heard or read about things I might have been doing
Ofcourse if something is critically dangerous then say something but it’s important not to make her feel bad for her parenting choices.
Unless she is doing something dangerous where you can say something like ‘oh I read on … you aren’t supposed to do that. I never realised!’ (like the swing) you have to accept other peoples parenting styles are different to yours. And you’ll need to accept that for the next 18 years. I’m also like Amelia and I didn’t stress as much. I didn’t not leave my LG alone - I couldn’t shower when my partner was working 18 hour days if I didn’t leave her somewhere safe whilst she was asleep etc.
Share fun and caution online tik toks or Instagram. Share a mixed bag of information with her from other sources and fun things to do with your kids. So it comes off as just sharing anything you come across that was important to you. And share stories and things you read. But timing is important. If the kid is asleep in the rocker then that’s not the time to share about that topic. Time it to where you’re just sharing what you’ve read not that you’ve seen her do these things and telling her how to do it better. Don’t share it all cuz it might come off as rude hitting on all the things she’s doing wrong. Pick what seems most important. With my first I followed some rules due to anxiety. Now that I have a 3yo and 6mon twins. Most of the rules have gone out the windows depending on the kids abilities and safety and what I need for my sanity.
So if you see her in the swing asleep just ask if she needs help bringing her to the bassinet; have couth but be gentle about how you bring it up bc honestly, she didn’t ask for your opinion & she could take it as you telling her she’s a bad mom.
@Erin that’s what I’m scared of!! I don’t want her to think that bc I don’t at all!
I would generally be careful honestly because there’s also a ton of recommendations out there (many contradictory) so you’re believing something dangerous may not be hers. If the baby is sleeping with a blanket that could get wrapped around her head, definitely say something. Maybe bring it back to you like hey I was reading the other day X and I was thinking about it for mine, what do you do? But something like the swing is a personal preference. When mine was newborn the swing was the only place she settled and I was fine with her sleeping in it if I was in the room (and so was my pediatrician). You have to differentiate between what’s truly dangerous vs what’s your opinion.
She may honestly just not know. I would say to let her know. This is my 1st and im learning daily but at the end of the day it is their decision