Am I going crazy?

I need some opinions on a situation that happened last night between my husband and I… We ordered some dinner for take out from a local quick serve greek place and he said no need for dessert and I told him I was going to order a few pieces of Baklava because they were buy one get one free and he says “ oh in that case, yeah.” Setting the scene… when dinner arrives I’m prepping my food into a bowl because the containers are very small, on the other side of the kitchen facing away from him. He asks me what dessert I ordered, I say Baklava? Then he says, what kind, I turn around and say Baklava again, not understanding what he means and he starts says “you don’t need to talk to me like that” and I’m all “like what, it’s baklava; how else do I explain it?” His response is “you don’t need to talk to me like I’m stupid. There are different kinds of Baklava.” So now I’m confused because my husband is a very smart person and sure, there are different kinds of baklava, but come on this place is not anything fancy or special, so it didn’t cross my mind to explain they don’t carry different types of baklava especially since he looked at the menu himself less than an hour before and didn’t ask me then if there were different kinds. So he sits down on the couch to look for a movie with ads and things playing and I’m still facing away prepping my food and I guess he was still talking or asking me something, so then he loudly says “Oh now you’re just going to ignore me” and I’m like “What, I didn’t hear you over the TV” please note he constantly complains I ask him to repeat things because I am legitimately losing hearing in one ear. So then I come over there and start to apologize and say “I’m really sorry if I made you feel that way, I didn’t think to explain there was only one kind of Baklava. What’s going on” then he starts going off about how I’m still doing it, talking with my hand (which I’m Italian and literally have talked with my hands regardless of my mood my entire life and he’s never complained) and not being genuine. As he’s ranting, I’m trying to ask clarifying questions or answer/rebut comments he’s making and he starts mocking my voice and I definitely lost my cool and was like “efff bro” out of frustration and then he’s like “see you always try to turn things around and make me the bad guy” so then I’m like I came over here to apologize to you because I made you feel bad unintentionally? Then he goes “I’m going to do what you always do and say this is not productive and end this conversation and forget about it.” Then we moved on and watched a movie like nothing happened. Am I nuts or is something else going on here? Or am I being a jerk and don’t see it?
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I think he was offended and didn’t know how else to back down when you showed him he was wrong so he tried to pick a fight over something else because he was not satisfied with how that ended… my brother is like that then it turns off like a switch after a cigarette or a walk… to be honest we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things so we aren’t talking right now not that it’s any bearing on what you should do about that behavior with your husband

If this is just a bad mood from work or whatever and happens rarely its probably nothing to worry about my brother does this somewhere between once a day and once a week just snaps into frustration and doesnt back down then snaps out of it sometimes apologizing sometimes being like its over its done let’s not bring it up

Maybe he was just in a mood? Sometimes my husband and I just get short with each other for no reason.

He sounds so immature.

This start to an argument sounds familiar. An ex was like this but it would escalate beyond this, to abuse. The root cause of his irritability was addiction, depression and mental health challenges. He was looking for a justification to feel irritable, because he already felt that way and it was easier to blame me than himself. Is there anything peripheral going on for your husband? Perhaps work is stressful, or there’s some kind of pressure on him that you mightn’t be aware of? If it’s out of character, it could be because he’s going through something. Hope you folks work it out and he doesn’t get so unnecessarily triggered in future x

@Holly actually he has struggled with addiction in the past… he’s been sober about 5 years. Honestly it’s been so long I’ve forgotten how moody he used to be back then and it does seem recently it’s happening more often. We did just move though, so I honestly thought it was likely just stress from that.

I’m so sorry to hear that. 5 years sober is wonderful. I don’t mean to worry you, but I’m sure you’re aware.. dependencies can return or rear their heads during times of stress, so it might pay to be vigilant and perhaps check in and invite him to speak openly on this. Or it may just be tiredness and generic stress making him snappy, in which case it’s not as big of a deal. I hope it eases and doesn’t become a recurring theme 🙏

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