Please help advise needed

I may be wrong but it feels like he’s leaving it to you to deal with his family. I’ll start setting boundaries. You don’t have to pick up every single call your MIL makes. Call her back when you’re in the mood for it. You DO NOT have to be at his mother’s beck and call. Also, does ur part keep the same energy with your own family.

I would sit down with her and explain that the frequent calling a responsibilities are a lot. Most of which need to be on her son. Let her know, that she can have contact and all that, but it needs to be mostly with her son, since he is the father of said kid...

Girl stay home with him. Don’t buy the gifts and stop answering the calls. Tell her nicely to call and ask her son. When they ask you why tell everyone your overwhelmed and need some time to feel better and you told your partner and he disregarded you

Firstly it is not your responsibility to show up to HIS family events especially when he himself isn’t going! Like make it make sense. You’re a wife, not a secretary!

Think about it this way. Maybe that’s also her way of trying to talk to you as well but not really knowing what to say

Here’s a few: Have your mom start calling him. Every time she calls, say hold on and hand him the phone for call him and merge the lines. Don’t go to any of his family’s gatherings without him. Don’t buy them gifts. Only answer her calls once a week. Stand your ground. Good luck!

Ultimately, that’s his mother. He needs to be the point of contact. I don’t think it’s unreasonable of you to screen her calls on occasion…you can always shoot a text that you’re busy and will get back to her later or something. It’s worth another conversation with BD to ask him to take more responsibility for the relationship.

I would decline the calls and say I’m busy but you can call your son! If that doesn’t work- set clear boundaries.

My in laws were the same, and I felt bad that my husband didn't make an effort woth them and I was doing all the work, but eventually I got tired of it. If he doesn't care to attend their events or buy them gifts etc. Why should I stress myself over that? So I slowly stopped doing it. Here and there I'll answer the calls so they can see their granddaughter, but whenever they ask about their son, I tell them to call him and check on him, or if they ask how his job is going or whatever, I say idk. Eventually they got the picture and stopped asking. Girl you're not obligated to maintain the relationship between your husband and MIL for them. They need to do that themselves.

Umm you are the one who had the baby if she needs something she needs to call him !! You deserve peace rn mama stop answering when you feel annoyed make him do the stuff you feel you don’t want to do. Especially if she isn’t checking on you too !

@Alianna thanks I like that! I do want to make sure me and my MIL relationship doesn’t ruin bc I need to set boundaries. I will reach out to her once a week to keep that relationship but I cannot be the administrator bc that’s not how I grew up and makes me uncomfortable. She’s a good GM and I try to be a respectful and kind DIL.