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IT'S A POLL WORLD! 🙋🏽‍♀️

My husband's never gotten me a valentines gift before

Holidays have always been hard for me, especially the ones where we gift and celebrate eachother, and since valentines is coming up all the feelings are too. My husband and I have been together for 15 months, married for 6, and he never buys me gifts. I don't mean just randomly or anything, I mean for mothers day, valentines day, christmas, when we got married, anything, unless I push and push. And at that point I feel like I'm just pushing him to get me a gift when I really just want to be thought about. The first christmas we were together, which was 2 months after we started dating, he got me a gift without me having to prompt but that was it. I don't recall him getting me anything for valentines day that year, and mothers day a couple months later, not even so much as a hug. We have three kids combined, which none of them are ours together but we had just lost our first baby together 3 weeks later. I spent the night before and morning of mothers day running around with him getting cards and flowers for his mom, his daughters mom, and his best friends mom, and i didn't get so much as an "I love you thank you for being a great mom" having lost our daughter just weeks before my feelings were deeply hurt and he apologized but never like did anything to fix it. Then he proposed to me on my birthday, but when we got married a month later didn't even have an outfit picked out. Didn't help plan anything. We showed up to the court house with pants that were too small and had forgotten a belt, and hadn't even written vowes. Literally he said he was just going to "wing it." When I spent weeks preparing mine and I asked him multiple times to please please wrote vowes it meant a lot to me and there was a project I wanted to use our vowes for and still he didn't put any effort in. No flowers or nothing I don't even think he told me I looked beautiful. Cried like a baby at my vowes though. Then for Christmas after I had to remind him like 6 times to buy me a gift, and while we agreed small gifts cuz it's about the kids and we were tight on money, he waited till the day before to get me anything. He just filled my stocking which I can't complain but i just want some effort. Now valentines day is 4 days away and while he said he has some ideas, I gave him something from his gift tonight because I thought he could use it and he told me he didn't get me anything. I have a whole box to give him on Friday. I booked the reservations too. I've expressed to him like all I want is a card and some flowers I just want to feel thought about and appreciated and that I don't want big gifts it's the small thoughtful ones I really love and he just kind of plays it off as he's not that kind of person who makes romantic gestures his handwriting sucks blah blah there's always an excuse. For every gift giving holiday since being married I told him all I want is some written vowes and he just kind of laughs. It hurts my feelings. I'm pregnant with our fourth baby and I mostly take care of the other three kids, all 3 and under. He was in an accident 5 months ago and is disabled to a point and I don't want to disregard that but how hard is it to go buy flowers and sign a store bought card? I buy him gifts all the time just to show I care and when I get him random stuff he just seems disappointed like he had something else in mind. Like once I told him I got him something and when I showed up with a basket full of stuff from target he told me he thought maybe I'd got the car he had his mind on or something. I just don't know like how do I get across that it hurts my feelings a lot? I get he's not a flower petals on the beach guy but I feel like there's no excuse for not even getting like grocery store flowers and a card. I'm learning to expect disappointment and I'm realizing that's not what i should be settling for in my marriage.