To those who originally wanted more than one child but decided on being 1 & done, excluding reasons related to childbirth, what was your reason for not having more children?

I am truly one and done. Me and my little one’s dad spilt when he was a year and a half and it’s exhausting enough having the one! 😂 plus the expense of another deffo puts me off. Even if I was to meet someone new (highly unlikely) I still feel like I’d be too old by the time I’d settled down and honestly never wanted multiple baby fathers anyway. My son is enough for me 🩵

I have no helping advice other than to have the second one! They are such blessings! Are you a SAHM? Can you afford another?

yeah, one is truly exhausting 😮‍💨I'll be 33 this year & would've ideally wanted to be done with having kids by 35... ugh I'd really love to but he really frustrates me 😡literally haven't had sex in months cuz I can't stand him. I don't earn enough if I was to go solo with my part time job unfortunately.

For me it was a combination of things. I would love to have another child but I didn't get pregnant till I was 37. The pregnancy and birth were smooth and fine. But the PPD and PPA were a lot to handle. After I got all that under control my partner and I talked and he wasn't sure about going through all that again or the possibility that the next pregnancy wouldn't go as smoothly. We could afford to have another one but things would be very tight. As my daughter got closer to 2 I realized I was happy with just one so we decided to stop there. We now talk about possibly being foster parents after she's a bit older.

It’s very similar to for me. Financially, emotionally and physically one works better for me and my lifestyle. I love being one and done.

Financially, physically, mentally and emotionally draining especially if you’re solo parenting. I’m good!

I’m in two minds too, I look at how exhausted I am and I’m unsure.
As much as I love the idea of another baby to join the family and especially I’m 34 soon I kind of need to think about it. Our mortgage and bills are going up though so it’s a tough one

that's completely understandable, coming out the other side of that experience & not wanting to possibly relive it, I get you. Fostering is a lovely middle ground tho, good luck if you go that route 🥰

I totally get that. I guess you went into motherhood only wanting one so I assume the decision was that bit clearer? It's not easy, in every sense😬🥹

yee the lifestyle aspect is what I'm trying to picture if I were to have another 🫣

I honestly don't know how women do it with multiple children whilst also being a solo parent. I think I'd go insane 😭

it really is tough. Don't get me started on the exhaustion - it's another level!! I also hate being in limbo about it & kinda need to make my mind up soon cuz if I decide to have another, I don't want a huge age gap between them 😬urrrgh😮‍💨

Props to you for being smart and selfless enough to look at your situation and realize that you want a healthier environment for you and your daughter. You’re doing such a good job as a mommy and a woman.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom and thought that I would have 2 since I grew up as an only child. For me it was super lonely. But some kids like it. I would say if your daughter would make a great big sister, then it sounds like she’ll also make a great mentor and friend. Maybe just surround her with opportunities to build her village. School. Extra curricular activities. Church if you believe. Camps. Wherever. Try to free yourself of that guilt and know that you’ll both be strong and happy when you’re happy. At least this is what I tell myself 😂. My 2 yr old son is such a social dude that I’ve decided that even though I want a sibling for him, as a 37 yr old single mama, he’ll just have to make really friends 😂

sorry to hear that girl 💜it's so hard going through that & questioning whether you have it in you to do it again. I'm so indecisive about it all 😔

thank you 🥹🥰I really don't want to bring another child into a toxic environment but I really want to have another baby n soon.. Ugh 🙁.. Aw I love that he's social!! My daughter is showing signs of being a social butterfly too but I can't help but feel like if I didn't have another, I'd be gutted about it. Ugh dunno what to do 😬🥹

It’s natural to want to seek advice when we feel lost or unsure about something, but really only you can know the right answer for you and your family.

If the environment is safe and it’s just about him annoying you, then maybe ya’ll can have a conversation about it? Or just learn to look past those things. Or maybe even try counseling together and individually. Or if you know that you really don’t wanna be with him but want a second child, maybe start having conversations about what that would look like as peaceful and cooperative coparents. But if you go that route then a village will be important because there will be hard times when it’s just you with 2 little ones.

There’s no right or wrong. It’s just what’s right for your family and you.