Would stay in a loveless marriage?

So we have 2 kids, and I had to be honest how I was feeling about him and the relationship, I am not in love with my husband anymore and he told me, he loves me but it is not 100 sure either.
He says it is ok to stay in a loveless relationship just for the sake of the kids

But I refuse to have a marriage like that, without enough love between the spouses.

I don’t feel we should stay together,
We get along, but it is more like roommates.

Would you stay in a loveless marriage?

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You both deserve to be happy

@Jessica Ford i do agree with you, however he is making me feel guilty for not wanting to stay. He says that the love he has for me it is just enough to get going,
But I just ugh refuse to have a marriage like that. This is so bad and I feel so sad.
However, thank you 😊

If you want maybe you guys could try couples counseling see if you can rekindle things but if u absolutely don’t want that I would keep talking about it maybe he’ll come around there shouldn’t be just a smidge of love to keep it going

Do you think you want to work at reviving it? Through some therapy and counselling maybe

@Luba yes, however it has been years feeling like this… so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Aww I’m sorry honey but you never know! I’ve heard of couples who come back from some horrific things and fall in love again. I’m not saying it’s easy but if any part of you wants to try then give it a go but if it doesn’t work out you deserve to be happy and a happy home is one where parents are happy ❤️

@Luba thank you for this, some part of me wants to try for our family, but there is this part of me, I can’t no more,
And my face expressions are to obvious. He tells me his love for me has changed because I am cold and sometimes can be careless and ITS TRUE because I don’t feel it anymore, I don’t feel that I should care for him anymore, at the same time I respect him and care for him but like as a friend…

I am exhausted that’s the truth.
But perhaps we should give it a try with again counseling

i understand why people say they want to stay together for the kids, but imo i have 2 points:
1) you’re teaching your children that their happiness doesn’t come first in a relationship
2) your children would probably much rather see you both happy apart, than sad together

So look, this wildly depends on your situation. If it’s easy enough to split, and you have tons of family support, and the division of assets will be amicable, and there’s no problem with like one partner, moving too far away to see the kids or that sort of thing, then consider that.
But if it’s very difficult to leave- if you BOTH kinda feel this way, and it is amicable, and you’re just kinda roommates- cohabiting for the kids, but having an open relationship? Legally separate maybe, but continue to live together.
And get tail on the side outside the house (NO BRINGING PARTNERS HOME) and see if that vibes for a while? Having a stable household is way more important at certain stages in a kids life. 4-10yrs especially

@Trish we both been very amicable, however he still treats me like his wife as his feelings has changed a little but not like mine, he still finds me attractive and he would still be intimate with me.
In my situation, I don’t find him attractive anymore and I don’t feel being intimate anymore, I I would be open to what you say, as we already had split everything.
However Since I am still with his wife, I don’t think he would be open to have an open relationship.

I don’t have tons of family support, he work nights so it is always me and the kids, which I got used to being alone with them.

He rent the first floor as my husband owns this 2 family home, I asked her for the apartment but she is taking too long as she needs to save up money in order to move to another apartment.

My husband says since we have been together more than a decade it is normal to feel like this that I should give it some time, MORE TIME? It’s killing me

All this hurt so much ladies, the love is not there, but still hurt… is it normal? 🥺🥺🥺

Have you heard of Esther Perel? Author and psychologist, she is a leading mind on couples therapy. Her book “Mating in Captivity” talks about how the commitment couples make takes away the excitement and spontaneity. People trade passion for security.. and then they end up unhappy. And there are many ways of changing this dynamic! If you like books, I recommend this one. Will blow your mind!

Fight harder

Yall are married. I'm confused. By this. Falling out if love happens in marriages all the time. You have to put in work to fall back in love. You should want to stay and work things out. This is something natural that happens after spending so many years with someone without always making each other and yall relationship a priority. It happens. It's not something to uproot yours, your kids, and your husbands lives over until you have tried EVERYTHING.

If not then wat was the point in getting married

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