How to Politely Ask a Guest Not to Bring Their Baby to My Shower?
Hi everyone!
I could really use some advice on how to handle a bit of a delicate situation.
One of my close friends is organising a small baby shower for me. We’re thinking of having it at my place, which has a tiny garden (fingers crossed for nice weather!). I’m hoping for a relaxed, intimate afternoon with my close friends and SILs before baby girl arrives.
One of the guests has a baby, and she brings him with her everywhere. I’ve never minded before and I’ve never thrown anything where I’ve asked people not to bring their babies.
That said, our relationship has changed a lot over the last year and, to be honest, I’m feeling quite hurt by her at the moment. I’m inviting her mainly to avoid awkwardness between our families—but I’ve realised I’m just not comfortable with the idea of the afternoon becoming centred around her and her baby, especially given how things have gone in the past.
I do have two nieces, but they’ll be staying with my BIL, and no one else in the group has kids. I’m nervous about how to ask her not to bring the baby without it coming across as rude or judgmental—especially since she knows I’ve always been super chill about these things in the past.
What’s a kind, respectful way to word this? I’d be really grateful for any advice!
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Maybe just send out a group message kindly reminding them that it is an adult only event. That way you aren't singling out one person but also making it clear children aren't welcome at this particular event x
What Naomi said.
I agree with Naomi. Plus you mentioned it’s a small garden so it would be hard with a baby as well
Even better ask your friend who's organising it to send it out in a group chat so you don't have to!
I completely get you. One of my bestest friends said about brining her two (think was 2&3 at the time) to my baby shower. And I politely just said no. I didn’t want it to turn into a thing where everyone was focused on her two, respectfully this event was about celebrating my unborn child.
I think in this case it’s more about preference. She lives with her husband (baby’s dad), and both her parents and in-laws are just a 10-minute drive away. That said, I’m not here to judge how attached a mum chooses to be with her baby… and honestly, I don’t know yet what kind of mum I’ll be.
Over the past year and a half, I’ve been the one baby-proofing plans and encouraging her not to miss out just because she has the baby with her—including my own hen do. But unfortunately, our relationship has really deteriorated.
The truth is, I wouldn’t even want her at the shower if it weren’t for avoiding fallout in other relationships. But if she is going to be there, I just need her to blend in, not stand out or take over the afternoon. I hope that makes sense.
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