Would you rather have your first baby at 18 or 38?

38- I’d rather have my own life and career straight before having a child as I’m then in a better position to care for the child.

38 - I was still very much a child at 18. Physically an adult and definitely thought I was an adult but most definitely was not. I’d have been such a different parent at 18 and not in a good way

Physically, at 18, im only 30 now, and I know without a doubt that I absolutely would not recover from a pregnancy at 38, although mentally, emotionally and financially id pick 38 always.

I would have been a rubbish parent at 18 and I'd have probably resented the child because of all the education, travelling, career and fun stuff I couldn't do so easily.

In 37 now and have 5 and 2 year olds. That's perfect for me but if I had to choose I'd say I'd rather wait until 38 than have had them at 18.

medically, geriatric is considered 30+

I was told at 30 when I had my daughter 4yrs ago I was an old mum!! My mum had me when she was 35 and was classed as geriatric back in the 90s!!

I wouldn't have wanted to have my baby at 18, as I wasn't ready and hadn't experienced life, but then I don't also want to be too old and not able to do as much be as involved when my baby is older if that makes sense.

no it isn't 😂 it's 35+ for a 'geriatric pregnancy' which is a pretty outdated term, 30+ is not geriatric in general!

I couldn't have thought of anything worse than having a child at 18. Was way too busy drinking, enjoying my life and being a care free kid still!

I always wanted to be a mother and I had a miscarriage at 18. It would’ve been hard, but I would have loved to meet that baby sooner than later. I’d have a baby at 38 too though.

38, 100%

I would have been a crap mother at 18. I was committed to my education, living on my own, working, travelling, socialising. I didn’t even bother with boys till I was 25, zero interest in dating or sex. I was on a mission 😂

I’m 34 now, not 38, but I’m financially stable. I worked hard through my 20s to make a career that pays very well, saw the world, clubbed, fell in love, and now I have 2 kids. This version of me can give them whatever they want, from a roof over their head to holidays overseas every other month. 18 year old didn’t have a penny to my name.

I got pregnant at 19 and miscarried. I’m sure it would have been fine but I don’t think I would have been anywhere near as good a mother as I am to the son I had at 33. I just…wasn’t as mentally healthy as I am now. The prefrontal cortex doesn’t finish developing until 25 and in my case I can see that clearly when I look at my outlook and choices pre and post 25.

I would’ve been a terrible parent at 18. It surprises me when I hear people on here saying they were treated old when having a baby after 35.
I had my son at 39 and not once throughout my whole pregnancy was my age ever mentioned.

If I had a good family and inherited housing etc, 18. I was pretty mature for my age and always wanted to learn as much as possible before diving into something so feel like I would've been a great mother even at that age, if I didn't have to worry about finances or help with childcare. I've been with my hubby since we were 15&16 and already then I knew we'd be together forever because he was mature for his age too and was so loving and caring, I knew he had a personality I could rely on 🥰

18, so sleep deprivation didn't affect me so badly, energy levels are better at that age, and by the time I'm 38 they're an adult and on their way into the big wide world.

Don't want to be a mum to a 10 year old at 48.....

I don’t think anyone over the age of 18 thinks they should have had a baby at 18 (from the mental at that age) I cannot imagine first baby 38 me and my fiancé always said we didn’t want to be old with our kids 😭 we will be 40 and they’ll be 14,16,17 which is good in our minds. Starting at 38 we’d be 55 with teenagers no thank you lol

38! I had my first at 23 that was a shock to the system already. 18 I was wild af. My mum would of had to step in

I really think it depends on a person, there are some that have a baby at 18 and they’re happy.
I know I would have hated my life if I had a baby at 18, absolutely not.

38. I always see posts and hear people who regret having a child so young because they lose their friends- interests no longer align, they didn't enjoy and live their young adult lives (going out, getting drunk, kissing new boys etc) which causes lots of anxiety, sadness, anger and prolonged mourning of the life they are leaving behind risking child resentment and abandonment as they go back to live the life they believe they are missing out on.

I was only just ready in my 30s to have children, so I definitely wouldn't have been ready at 18.

not anymore. I was pregnant at 34 and was not considered geriatric. NHS says geriatric is 40+

I had my first at 31.
I could barely make good decisions for myself at 18, let alone a child

Someone posted something shaming essentially 40 yo moms and I thought to myself that I’d take being pregnant at 40 any day over a teen pregnancy. Also for the child: at 40 you are most likely already accomplished and more stable

I comment 18 but im both haha

Can i have my marriage, financial, home etc of 38 year old me
But can i have the energy, body health and need for little sleep of the 18 year old me

🤣🤣

I had my boy at 18 and my girl at 35. Was way easier on me at 18, but he didn’t get all the advantages my girl does. Financially he suffered, but he understands the value of a dollar. I also worked while raising him so he saw a different side of me than my girl who gets a SAHM. He turned into a really good boy.

perhaps it’s different with each trust as I specifically asked my midwife and HV as we plan on having more children (if we can. Took over 10 years to have my 4 month old) and I’m now 35. I was told it had be reclassified as pregnant people over 40

I was called an older mother at 35 by a consultant, at 18 I didn't have the bandwidth for a whole human. I'm glad I waited until 30 but I am slightly envious that all my friends now have kids leaving school or starting university but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I would choose 38. Having a baby young is something I would never ever do. I’m so glad I had time to figure myself out, finish my degrees and have fun as an adult without having to care for someone else.

I had my first at 38. I dont think I would have been mature enough or financially stable enough at 18

18 CAUSE I’D GET MORE YEARS WITH MY BABIES 🤍 I had my first at 18 & my second at 29.

As someone who had a baby at 18 I love being a mum and am super happy with my life decisions. I have my own home, a stable income, healthy relationship and we plan on having more children soon

18 especially since I was dating my now husband at the time and he's older and already had an established career I would've been happily to be a stay home at with no work experience while he provided financial... that would have been perfect.

sorry that was just what i was told. i was always told geriatric was 30+, i used to think geriatric was 40+ until i was told 30+ and i thought thats really young to be considered geriatric! anywho, i clicked prefer 18, but i wouldn’t prefer to be that young, but I’d rather be a young mum than an older mum (personal preference of course, my body already feels old i’ve struggled with aches and pains and exhaustion since a teen and has deteriorated since) i became a mum at 20 (accident), and ive just had my second at 24 (planned). and even though 20 was earlier than i would’ve liked to become a mum, im just happy im a young mum bcos with my second even now im struggling more with my body than i did with my 1st, i couldn’t imagine doing all this when im 35/40 i wouldn’t be able to cope. im hoping i can rest by the time im 40 😅xx

As someone who had my kids in my 30s I wish I had them earlier. Simply because I’m struggling with my physically well being. At 18 I was full of energy and life and now I’m just not no matter how hard I try. I literally need a full nights rest a super balanced diet time for myself and quiet to function at about 80% lol When I was 18 I just need a cup of coffee and a wish lmao 🤣

Physically 18 but mentally 38 for sure.

Definitely 38. I understand people saying it might be physically easier to carry a pregnancy at 18, but I then you have to provide and care for a baby when you are still a kid yourself.

I would not have been ready at 18.

I had my first at 23 and my second at 35. It was so much easier in my twenties 🤣

I got pregnant and also had my son at 37. I'll have my next child at 40 ( yes, I'm expecting, due in January, we both turn 40 in October)

Me at 18? I didn't even have my first boyfriend until 19 and good heavens I know the me back then would not have been ready at all for a child

I think a 38 yr old woman would make a better mom than one who is 18! Older moms make some of the best moms! So I’d definitely be having a kid at 38 instead of 18! I rather have a quote on quote “geriatric” pregnancy or be labeled as “advanced maternal” than to be a statistic as “teen mom”
I personally terminated my 2nd pregnancy at 18. If I decide to have more kids, I’ll probably be having my 2nd child when I’m 38! I wouldn’t shame anyone who has kids at a young age bt I just know that could never be me. Also I just want to add that ppl get feared into thinking abt the “risks” when women get older bt young ppl have issues & risks as well! Pregnancy comes with risks no matter how old the person is! They need to stop fear mongering women into thinking we are not capable of having kids past 35 because of some biological clock. I’m so glad mo women are taking their sweet time to have kids later cuz ppl need to know it can be done. We are waiting until we have careers, stability, maturity

Also if I had a baby with a man at 18, I’d prolly have more baby daddies (which is something I didn’t want) my mom had 3baby daddies & that was ghetto asf, I swore that I could never let that happen to me. So Im just thinking omg my age now, ain’t no way I was lasting this long with a man I met at 18! I jus know it would have a mess

it’s the one. The « never want that to be me » felt like they were throwing shade a little you know?

My 18 year old body birthing into my 38 year old life setup? Is that an option? 🤣

yes I didn’t want to say anything or sound negative bt yes it did seem like it was some shade. Bt ever since I joined this app, this age debate is always a thing. Someone is always asking if 35+ is too old etc. using their opinions as law or fact lol
Bt a lot of it is just someone self projecting. Sometimes Ppl love to feel self righteous abt their decisions in comparison to others. lol bt this app. In infamous for shaming or telling women they are too old bt I’ve never seen anyone shame a young mom, cuz I think we all know better especially when ur older, that there is no need to shame anyone in this journey cuz we are all in unique timelines

18 for sure

I actually had my first baby when I was 19, and my youngest (5th baby) shortly before turning 38. My first pregnancy, including labor, and delivery, was way harder.

Had my first at 36 and that's just the best. I am emotionally and economically stable. I am in a super healthy and loving relationship with my baby daddy and we have an amazing life. I wouldn't have brought so much for my baby at 18 years old. My "geriatric" pregnancy was amazing and I had a super unmedicated birth and a great recovery. Age doesn't always matter.

I had my first at 35. It seems old for other people, especially in my family. Everyone had theirs between 19-23. But I was in school and then I was travelling the world. Then I was moving around from state to state and then moved across country and then moved through that country just trying to figure out where I wanted to settle down and start a life. Then once did that I wanted to travel again so I did that. I also needed therapy for some stuff and did that for a couple of years. Then I wanted my masters 🤣 I also didnt meet my wife until I was like 33...so at 18...I would not have been able to be as present or as patient as I am now. I also would not have been able to financially provide or even provide stability.

I wish I met my wife earlier and started earlier because I would have more time with my family but im thankful for the the life I have created for us and for the fact that we were blessed with children at all❤️

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make u feel shamed because that statement I made is only MY opinion. It’s not law nor is it fact. And also my statement is very subjective, it’s literally what I (Jasmin) thinks. I know that these topics can be triggering to some ppl, bt please it was definitely not my intention to sound insensitive or have someone take offense to my comments

overall I really hate when my opinion offends ppl so I’m very sorry. The last thing I want to sound insensitive x

38.
For a start, my children have the best father I could have wished for. The boy I was dating at 18, who could have fathered this hypothetical child… 🥴 thank the lord contraception prevailed there.
So yeah, either bringing a baby into that toxic relationship with that prick or doing it probably on my own, which in itself isn’t a reason alone to not pick 18, but combine that with what would have then been living at home raising my baby in a bedroom at my mums house, no proper job, wouldn’t have been likely to finish university or do my postgrad, wouldn’t have had the same experiences I’ve been able to have without children…
I’d absolutely take perhaps being more tired but with all the benefits and stability that has come with age, over the train wreck that could have been a baby at 18. Again, this isn’t shade on those that do it at 18 or younger and are great parents, good for them. But I’m so grateful I didn’t have to make that choice when I was barely a functioning adult.

you do have a point. Although there may be exceptions, teenage pregnancies are for the most part unwanted, and the young parents are most likely than not not equipped to be parents. Whereas the pregnancies in your 30s even late 30s or early 40s could be seen as ideal in terms of your life circumstances and the maturity you’ve gained. Anyway, 35 considered old is nuts!