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A few years ago i asked my mum what she wanted to do for mother’s day, she said she would like a meal out with her children (there are 4 of us, we never see eachother just us children and my mum without partners), so i invited my 2 sisters and brother for a meal out. It then all kicked off because my sister in-law wasn’t invited, even though my partner and my sisters partners, my dad and my niece wasn’t invited.
She has held a grudge and has stopped my brother from seeing us since. Just wanted opinions.
I thought my mum would be allowed to see her 3 daughters and 1 son for a couple of hours but clearly not 😕
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.She stopped your brother from seeing the family? Isn’t he grown - how is she stopping him?
Having said that, I personally wouldn’t have expected an invite to my mother in law’s get together and would have gone to see my own mum.
Although context might be key here. Does she not have a mum? Maybe she wanted your husband to spend mother’s day with her and it would have been nice to celebrate all the mothers including your sister in law. Unless your sister’s partners are female and also mothers, I wouldn’t count that as a counter argument.
Also did you have a good relationship with her prior to this? If not, I can see why she may have taken this personally.
I think it’s very childish and worrying for anyone to have a problem with a mother having a meal with just her children, young or grown up. Unless there’s something going on/ part of the story missed. If that individual does have an issue with it for no reason other than the fact they’re a tw*t, then they need to give their head a wobble. So sorry you have someone toxic like that within the family if that’s the case.
With regards to your brother not speaking to the rest of the family now, he’s old enough to make he own decisions. I don’t believe anyone can stop you… unless there’s some serious emotional abuse or physical abuse happening… However, if he’s just going along with it for an easy life (happy wife happy life) then he’s made a rod out of his own back and only has himself to blame.
Sounds like a very sad situation but hope your mama got to enjoy the meal with you all.
We all got on really well as a family, as soon as they got married it was like everything changed and she turned horrible.
She has a mum of her own, so we assumed she would be seeing her like she does every year.
This is just 2 of many things she kicked off about;
- my mum, sisters, sister in-law went to London for the day and took lots of photos/selfies of us all, we had ONE photo without my sister in-law as she was in the toilet and she kicked off (gets mentioned to us by my brother on the rare occasion we see him).
- One sister got my brother a ticket to see Dapper Laughs (comedian) for his birthday and asked myself and my other sister to go, just us siblings went and it ended in an argument because my brother basically said we were in the wrong for not asking his wife.. none of our partners were invited either.
But yes, long story short 😂 She is very controlling, and has slowly turned against us since they got married.. the biggest reason being the whole mothers day thing 🤦🏼♀️
And also, my brother was on the verge of being an alcoholic many years ago and was very depressed. He then met his wife and I feel like he never wants to feel lonely and depressed like he was without her.
He isn’t allowed to see his friends, go to the pub, have takeaways and the list goes on.. but i guess he just doesn’t want to be alone.
He tells us he is happy but we all think he is lying
Depends on the circumstances. If it was a family get together and everyone was invited and NOT me, then yeah I would be upset but if she wanted some time with just her 4 boys (my partner is one 4 boys) then absolutely I would think that was really nice to have.
Oof it was on Mother’s Day, I’d be mad 100%
No I’d be upset if I WAS invited 😆
As a one off, I wouldn’t be pissed if my husband and his siblings went out with their mum on Mother’s Day. I’d use that time to go see my own mum. But, she is also part of my family now, so I would also like an opportunity to see her and wish her a happy Mother’s Day. But, and this is my own current situation; my husband and I have clashing work schedules, so at most we get to see each other on a Friday night, one full day on a weekend and one half day. We rarely get to go out together anymore, so in your situation, I’d like to be invited to spend time with my husband as well. But if none of those ‘problems’ that I have, then as I said; can’t really be annoyed at a one off/rare event that basically never happens.
Also, if it makes any difference they don’t have children. So it’s not like she would have been left with looking after the children or anything either
I’d be annoyed that it was on Mother’s Day. Bit different if it was on the Saturday. Plus it sounds like it’s a lot of things that have led up to this. Maybe she also feels excluded as maybe you are a close knit family.
Would I be upset if my husband said "Mum wants to do brunch with me and my 2 sisters do you mind?"....
Hell no! Our family relationship is solid and I take comfort in that I don't need to worry at all about it, they want to have some special time and I'm 💯 down!
.....Why would only she take offence if nobody else was invited other than the direct children ?? Wtf weird....