How do you deal with rude kids at the playground

My baby girl is 2.5 and loves to play outside. She isn't a daycare toddler so the only time she's really interacting with other "babies" is at the playground. I'm the parent who since the beginning has taught my daughter to say please and thank you, excuse me, and to take turns. She's not the best at playing with others because it's usually just us and all she wants to do is use the slide or swings but we'll have our toys and she doesn't mind if other kids touch them.

Here's the problem

It feels like I'm the only one who has taught my daughter any of this and I'm the only one who's actually paying attention to the interactions the kids are having on the playground.

She's 2.5 she's learning and growing. She saw a football laying on the ground and ran to pick it up and show me and a kid said to her "that's not yours, that's someone else leave it alone" my daughter didn't register anything he said but I did. But yet the same kids want to touch and play with her toys and I feel like I'm the only parent out there.

They rush past her, and though she can't process what's happening they leave her out of things , when she's always running up to kids saying "hi"

She not used to being around kids so the yelling and screaming startled her and she doesn't talk much except certain phrases she's learned and because I'm her play partner outside of her independent play time, she goes at her own pace so the playground can be overwhelming at points.

I don't want to parent or correct other peoples children, nor should I have to. It's stressing me out and makes me want to keep her in the house away from the world. I cried last night. Because I don't want anyone to be mean to my baby and I feel really uncomfortable saying anything to anothers child in the moment. Idk what to do.

Lee más en Peanut

Las opiniones en la comunidad son solo de quienes participan y no representan las de Peanut.

Conoce más sobre nuestras reglas.
Add a comment
Avatar

I totally get it. My son is 5 and an only child. He was/is the same way. We've been lucky to have family that's taken care of him so we could avoid daycare. But now he's in Pre-k, and it's hard to think of someone being mean to your baby. And if you are around, how do you handle it (especially with other peoples kids)? I know the times I've been in that situation, I think of myself as if I'm a teacher in a classroom. How would I address two kids who are not sharing, being nice, etc. That gives me a bit more confidence to address another kids bad behavior without feeling like I'm "parenting" him.

Avatar

I would just tell my kid that the kid isn't nice, so we are going to play in a different spot. It's probably a good teaching moment on how to handle how others will treat her and to show her that she deserves better. You can even say things out loud so the parents or child can hear it and maybe someone will get a clue, but just make sure your daughter knows that some people are mean but she doesn't deserve that. The world is cruel, but hang in there mama. Just know that you are doing a great job of raising a nice human and other parents need to do better!!

Avatar

I know that some parents don't want anyone to say anything to their child, it stresses me because I don't want a confrontation. I'm an only child myself and daycare with me was spotty, my grandparents kept me most of the time because I had issues with the kids there. I guess it's a universal thing.

Avatar

I said that before even though she doesn't know what that means, they did though. It felt weird NGL. I just gotta suck it up I guess. I get so enraged at the thought of ppl being rude but I never show it on the outside. On our way home a neighbor was outside with his daughter and they ended up playing for a few minutes that made me feel good. My daughter is really tall for her age so the kids think she's older until they hear her talk.

Avatar

We met a lot of mean kids at the park before my daughter turned 3. It actually (understandably!) sort of put her off socializing for a while. I stopped going to our neighborhood park and started going to mom's groups that meet at different parks. After that, she always had friends at the park and all the moms were present and ready to step in to diffuse conflict. Even if your kid doesn't go to daycare/preschool, it does get easier as they get older. You shouldn't have to parent other people's kids, but you do need to protect your kids and teach them how to speak up for themselves. Don't think of it as parenting, think of it as adulting. I'm that moment, you are the village... As a parent, i think it's good to practice a little low-stakes confrontation too. It will help make you more confident when something bigger comes along. There are times when it's uncomfortable and socially awkward but important to advocate for your kid, and this type of thing is good practice.

Avatar

Nope, I totally agree. Some(probably most) parents don't like other adults addressing their kids, which is a real shame in some respect. There used to be a time when kids had to mind their P's and Q's because an adult (who wasn't your parent) could address bad behavior if they saw it and then tell your parents. And then it was always worse for the kid because now you've embarrassed your parents. Both my husband and I are only children, so it does make it feel more uncomfortable and awkward when you do find yourself in a situation where another kid is acting a fool. But I agree with Bonnie. In advocating for your child, you will likely find yourself at some point in a confrontation with another parent, so getting some practice now might be helpful later on....

Avatar

thank you so much this is definitely new territory for me and definitely interested in mom groups. Some of the 6Kids definitely have a very smart mouth these days, I could never talk to any adult or let them hear me talk the way I hear these kids these days. I felt like I was in the wild West last night. I'll definitely be addressing things moving forward. Thanks everyone

Avatar

OMGGG!! I FELT this one IN MY SOUL MAMA 🥹🥹💔💔 These kids are insane and it’s because the parents aren’t parenting them! They think they can just sit on the bench or in their car and not pay attention to their kids. It’s insane to me !

I’ve had to correct other people’s kids but I do it the same way that I could correct mine, with manners and in a nice voice. You have to do it because sometimes the kids just don’t know any better.

It’s made me cry several times before because we don’t want people being mean to our kids BUT my girl has experienced enough “mean” kids to know how to deal with it now. She just says “okay I’ll go play by myself” or something like that.

I’m sorry this happened mama but you’re not alone !

Avatar

I take my son to lots of toddler classes in my area so he’s used to kids and knows how to play well/adapt. But when I take him to the playground i usually play with him. If another kid comes over and appears to play in the same way my son does, I’ll take a step back but stay close. If a child is being mean, I’ll tell my son that child isn’t nice and try to explain why and create distance between them. The park on my area is for residents only so if there is a child who is putting the others at risk and isn’t being monitored, I’ll inform the park security and they can talk to the parents about it

Avatar

My 2.5 yr old is scared of everyone still so she’ll only play with me or her brother. her brother is 4 and never been to school and he would go to other kids to play with. I will definitely intervene if kids are being rude or bad. I have also taught my kids to be kind and polite when they are around others. Some kids throw stuff and I will definitely tell the kids not to throw stuff. The more you take her to the park the more she will adapt to playing with other kids. You can’t control other kids, but I definitely think if they’re doing bad stuff you should intervene or remove her from playing with that kid. Unfortunately some parents don’t want to parent their kids.

Lee más en Peanut