Why is my 19m old hoarding food?

So I have two children. One is 19m and the other is 9m.

They have 3 meals a day and snacks in between if they want them. They have never been without food and my eldest has the ability to tell me when she is hungry in her own way that I understand so I am constantly up and down getting her what she needs when she needs it.

Now what really confuses me is when I bring their lunch and dinner to them, my eldest will pick the things she likes best and will literally hoard them. She will grab every single cucumber stick for example and will hide them behind her or under her doll so nobody can take them away.

The problem is it leaves my youngest with barely anything and it’s also not something that I think is healthy. When you hear about hoarding food you think about children who have been neglected which concerns me because I’m the only person who makes their food every single day and I make sure they eat well.

I never pressure them to eat foods they don’t like. I don’t force them to eat more than they want. I let them eat what they want and then I clean up once they run off and play.

The only thing I can possibly think is maybe she’s doing it because she doesn’t want to share with her sister? My youngest is a big foodie and will literally grab a handful of food and shove it all in her mouth at once.

They originally had their own plates for each meal but they ended up just snatching from each other’s plates and feeding each other. A lot of food was getting wasted so now I get one big compartment plate and they share it between them. I tried to go back to individual plates a week ago and it didn’t work again.

What do I do? Do I let her carry on with it? I don’t want it to become a habit and affect her as she gets older.

When we go out for dinner she doesn’t do it!

in our community

Kissing babies

I keep seeing posts about people not wanting family to kiss their babies.

Is there anyone who doesn't mind their families kissing their babies!? I just can't see myself asking them not to, and it's a nice part of bonding for grandparents, aunts, uncles etc, no?!?
Is it really that bad? I'm sure it wasn't a thing when I was a baby..

Husband's just said he doesn't want our second child

I'm 37 weeks, and due an elective C-section in less than 3 weeks.
My husband has bipolar and really struggled with the trauma of my first birth 5 years ago. He agreed to us having a second, but is now saying he did it for me and not because it's what he really wanted.
Our son is his life, and he says he doesn't want this new baby. I haven't been able to really get excited this pregnancy, it's been harder than my first and my husband has never been very interested.
I just don't know what to do. Family are over an hour away, we've just moved our first to a new school closer to the house we moved into in February. I never imagined doing this alone, and don't want to rip my son's life apart, but can I really live like this knowing my husband will never want the new baby.
I just feel lost and alone now

In-laws

I just need to rant. We went to see my husband’s family last week. It was lovely but so many little comments have just pissed me off.
Some examples
- every time my husband would say, the baby has her mothers eyes/nose (whatever it was). They would disagree and say no, it’s like this person. But that person was always their side of the family.
- not giving me the baby when she’s upset
- telling me that she’s fine when I can see she’s not
- telling me not to give things like teething gel/powder/calpol
- trying to feed baby cake
- telling me I shouldn’t be doing baby led weaning

None of these things are ever said in a nasty way. But it’s just so annoying. I know I’m a first time mum and I’m happy for advice and help. But I know my baby and her cues. It honestly makes me not want to visit.

Does anyone else have similar issues? Or any advice on how to block it out?

Are the parents in my area selfish?

I sent my 3 year old yo income daycare at a moms house the last year. I pay her 45 dollars a day.
She sent out multiple texts through the year kind of getting mad for parents not paying on time (never me) she was saying how her time and money are valuable and she deserves to be paid (I agree). But the last few months she been texting me now "sorry I have a last minute appt/job I need to do can you get my kids from school?" I said sure the first few times. Now she is expecting i get her kids for free and watch them at my house for several house like every week. Shes never offered to pay or take any money off my childcare.

Another mom who ignored all my invites and texts seeing if she wanted to do playdates will randomly reach out and be like omg I can't get my kid today can you get her and watch her for a few hours. So I do and I never get a thanks, offer to pay me, or say thanks for feeding her. Usually we do snacks but today is a half day so I fed her lunch and a snack, and watched her for 4.5 hours.

I just feel like this is so rude overall to not even offer to pay at minimum for their food when its a regular thing.

Do you parent better now you’re working?

So this isn’t about loving or hating your job. This is about Parenting and how you handle day to day family life.
Do you feel more stressed trying to juggle everything and torn.
Or has having some space to be who you are outside of the home made you a better parent?

Some days I think my tolerance level would be better if I had space to just be myself outside of my role as a mother. My husband definitely can handle screaming fits and tantrums better than I can because he isn’t surrounded by it all day.

But also the idea of me not being with my little one makes me feel guilty and selfish.

Maybe I’ll always feel like this but how’s everyone else’s experience gone since returning to work. I go back in 2 weeks time.

How do you handle little kids at your house who are disrespectful

My 7 year old has a friend over today(im watching her as a favor). So first I make them lunch when we get home and she yells at me to cut her crust off. I say we need to say please first. Then she takes like 15 minutes to transition to outside and keeps getting distracted by going outside. When we are are outside I told everyone to stay in the front yard where I can see them, she didn't listen snd tore off on the kids atv, I called after her like 20xs and she didn't listen or respond. So I literally had to hold the atv so the wheels were spinning while shes hitting the gas and she was screaming for me to let go and I said listen we are done with the atv, you need to listen if youre coming over to our house. She then got off screamed and ran away. Then I said okay let's going inside and watch a movie. She screams at me "I WANNA watch POKEMON" I said okay well when everyone is quiet in the couch I'll turn the TV on she goes "WHY my TV is on whenever I WANT" and i was like okay well this is our house. Shes such a freaking handful and now is currently play in my room going through my drawers. I've asked her 10xs to please okay out in the living room and will probably have to go remove her.

I dont get it. My kids didn't even act like this when they were 2. Shes 6 almost 7. Im stuck between letting her walk all over me and wanting to hold my ground and be more firm.