Boundaries and Toxic Family Members

My sister has a boyfriend and they’ve had 2 miscarriages it is known that “he’s only pushed her” not my words and he degrades her, cheats, he abandons her in random places when he gets upset with her, & is a coke dealer. We’ve been no contact for months as a family but my mom is pushing it and saying that I need to get over it and it’s not like he did anything to me but I don’t think that’s someone I want around my kids i purposely chose not to have stuff like this toxicity in my home/marriage so now I’m expected to expose them to this mess at family gatherings? Wherever he is I won’t be and that’s that but my mom is making me feel like I’m crazy for standing on this boundary but I grew up with alcoholics, drug addicts, family fights, toxic relationships, and pedophiles so I don’t feel like my mom has the best track record on this and I want to prevent that from being my kids childhood experience too

Question regarding 62 million visits in one month to share, view and discussions videos and tips involving the drugging and sexual assault of women—many described as wives or intimate partners. Women: have you asked your husband, boyfriend, father, brothers, sons, coworkers, or other men in your life what they think about this story? What was their response? And if this investigation made you question whether something similar could have happened to you or someone you love? My thoughts are we moved past this way too quickly.

My intention is not to trigger anyone but to have a discussion regarding how we can hold men accountable.

Vent session about my mom who i have a really on / off relationship with thats very toxic.. long story short: over 2 years ago I was prescribed a new medication that caused adverse effects with my anti-depressant at the time and I had a horrible reaction with the two meds combined causing a medication-induced psychosis. Back then I was a single mother of 2 and I did everything in my power to get myself better. At first I was 302'ed and sent to the psych ward at the local hospital. I signed a 201 when I was in-patient there. I was there for about 3-4 ish weeks and got stable, on new medication, got into therapy, etc...

During that time, my mom helped with my 2 kids at her house. After I got discharged and life started to become normal again, she has never let me live down that I went through a mental health crisis.

I have always struggled with anxiety/depression/CPTSD since childhood, but this was different. I went through a full blown psychosis that I wasnt in control of. It wasn't caused by me. And I hated the fact that this happened to me and messed up so many aspects of my life back then... I try to give myself grace because it wasnt anything I did but she wont let me move on from that dark period completely. It was my pulmonologists fault. She knew my pre-existing mental health conditions and what medication I was on. She knew there was a severe black box warning for the new medication she was prescribing me and the risks and prescribed it anyways. She discarded my concerns and worries even whenever I told her over calls, through in person appts, and messages on the chart portal that I was having hallucinations, hearing voices, having paranoia and night terrors, etc. She told me the benefits outweighed the risks and it was one of the best drugs out there and prescribes it all the time with no issues.

Fast forward --

My birthday is this Sunday (May 10th and Mother's Day). I'm very big into the paranormal shows, investigations, etc.. so is my fiance. He got us tickets to the Paracon Expo at Penn Hurst Asylum for Sunday, May 17th as a birthday present.

We just need someone to watch our kids for us so that we can go (it would be a day trip)..

I called my mom to ask if she could watch them for us so we could go celebrate my birthday. She was fine with everything at first. She asked where it was that i was going for my birthday that day / why I needed a sitter.

I explained it was the Paracon Expo and etc. When I mentioned it was taking place at an old asylum, she completely cuts me off and says "Don't you think you've had enough time there?" in a snarky tone and laughs about it...

I just shut down and said "its okay, thanks anyways, love you bye"

Then, she gets mad at me and hangs up.

I dont know if maybe im just too sensitive about the subject or AITA? I think it just hurt me that she brought that up after so long of having growth and getting my life back on the path it was before.

I just really wish she could be more empathetic, but shes not.

(Some context thats gonna make people go crazy in the comments....: shes a nurse for our local hospital and works ER/med surg. BUT! shes in nurse practitioner school with her focus on psych and mental health.... and shes also trying to work at the VA as a nurse but has no respect for my fiance who is a USMC Veteran and claims he cant have PTSD because "hes too young and wasnt even in for 10 years".. make it make sense.)

Thank you for anyone's advice or kind words. Im sorry if theres any typos.

My mom and I have been disagreeing on things when it comes to holidays and involving family. We are bumping heads because she doesn't and doesn't want me to call out the "family members" who are extremely cheap.

Anyways this "cousin" constantly is bragging about being a ups driver and how much he makes but EVERY holiday he only brings enough food for ONE PERSON and then expects his family of 4 PLUS their daughters friend and boyfriend to eat what everyone else brings. They also make a To-go plate first so they have a little bit of everything.

Anyways long story short, For Easter, I am going to write a text to the whole family chat basically saying that everyone needs to bring a meat to grill and a side dish and ENOUGH to feed a group.

My mom thinks I am over reacting by creating a text. But honestly I don't think I am because groceries are expensive and it shouldn't be the whole families responsibility to feed his whole family!

I'm almost 24 years old, I've been dating my boyfriend since 8 months ago, and i only live with my mom and little sister. My mom doesn't know anything about me having a boyfriend, I grew up in a very toxic but loving family. She's a narcissist who always plays the victim when I stand for myself. She's very controlling, trying to know every single step and movement i do, and making it look like a way of protection for me and my well-being, I don't know how to tell her that im grown enough and that I also need some freedom to live my life, she's easily to get angry and aggressive she had hited me in other occasions, I'm scared of her but I feel like hide it more tume in only draining me mentally and emotionally. Any suggestions please, someone else had the same situation? Any advice will be well appreciated 👏.