Our daughter was teething and unwell. I’d done all the childcare that day while he recovered from drinking the day before. Around bedtime, I asked him to sit with her for about five minutes while I ate and got her things ready. Even during that short time he seemed visibly agitated and stressed just being alone with her.
Later, while bathing her, she started crying and having a typical toddler tantrum. He became increasingly frustrated and started shouting. He then picked her up in a towel and tried to get into the bedroom. Instead of letting me open the door, he repeatedly kicked it while holding her. I asked him several times to stop and let me open it. But he wouldnt let me and kicked the door through. The door latch broke, wood splintered, and metal was exposed from the force.
After this i asked him to give our daughter to me and go take some time. He physically blocked me from taking her and aggressivly shoved my arms away while she was crying and reaching for me. He later said that i was oblivious and he'd done that to get her to the bed safely as he nearly dropped her in the bathroom and that what he did was the safest thing and his only option (it's rubbish he lost his temper and was aggressive and looking for something to break) this isn't the first time he's thrown things, broken things or punched objects in a temper.
When I pointed out there were at least three safer options (hand her to me, put her down safely, or let me open the door), he minimised it and said he hadn’t kicked the door through, that he was just trying to open it with his foot and it was an accident. The damage doesn’t reflect that — it was clearly forceful. (See picture)
Later that evening, instead of apologising, he messaged me saying “I don’t want to be here anymore” (implying suicide), then deleted it. This is something he’s done before during conflict.
Since I’ve left, he has continued to justify his behaviour rather than take responsibility.
I feel confused because he says he was panicking and trying to keep her safe, but from where I was standing, his behaviour felt aggressive, unsafe, and escalating. I’m struggling with self-doubt and would really appreciate hearing from others who have experienced similar minimisation or justification after frightening behaviour. I've reported him to the police today but I'm terrifed of what happens next. Help!