Bad gift!!! š¬š¬
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Also, I donāt think a lot of people are respectful of others parenting style so I understand your frustration.
@Tina thanks for your response! I've read so much about how tech toys can impact speech development etc and so I was so worried my little love will stop chatting away to me because she gets engrossed in a flashy toy! Haha but that's probably extreme examples they are referring to! Maybe I'll allow it during times I can't engage fully with her- like while I'm cooking or something!
Iām like you but with my sonās food. Lol Iāve driven myself beyond stressed so many times because I have done so much research. We all have a hill we are willing to die on š
I donāt get mad at any gift. I regift them š š If I donāt wanna open a gift then I donāt
@Kellie it would be an option except this is a gift from grandparents that will know if we regift!
Grandparents don't get a free pass to ignore your wishes when it comes to your child ā¤ļø I would regift or donate to charity if it goes against your values. Set boundaries early, it only gets harder as your child gets older. Boundaries are not rude, they're important for healthy relationships.
Also, a true gift isn't dependent on whether the receiver keeps the gift. You know what I mean? They bought/made you this because they thought it would make you feel loved/cared about. That fact doesn't change if you get rid of the gift! They still cared about you. Maybe they didn't know you that well so they got you something that would actually be a burden if you keep it- does that mean you're obligated to keep it? If you gave a gift to a friend and they appreciated the gesture but hated the gift, would you want them to keep it out of obligation? You would just want them to feel loved right? And you'd give them a free pass to do with the gift whatever the heck was best for them. Just a thought!
@Lydia thanks for this! My partner got home and said basically the same thing. He was like, I'm not having this happen every year, we need to stop it early and explain what presents align with our parenting values and if they don't like that it's their problem! He's happy to be the bad guy and have the hard conversation on my behalf haha
I get this. My parents go all out for Christmas even if I say I just would like money and one gift. I try to be as minimal as possible but they still go all out. Now with a kid and trying to be more Montessori they donāt exactly careā¦ I mean they do but they donāt. What I will do it say thank you for the toysā¦ maybe leave some with them for when we come to visit and then bring the rest home. Some will most likely stay in the boxes or get returned. Or after a little bit I might donate them. Iām not gonna yell at my parents for what they got us. Iām gonna be greatful but Once you get a gift. That gift is now yours and you can do what you want with it. So maybe leave it at that persons house if you go over often or bring it to someone else house that you go to so maybe can see it there or keep it for a little then give it away or donate it.
I definitely donāt think itāll hurt her development t. I think playing with it a couple times a week or month at someone else house (or if that person comes over and wants to see baby playing with it) I donāt think that will hurt her. Just donāt use it when you are home yourself. I also donāt think that using it will make her immediately think open ended toys suck. My son doesnāt have an electric toys (now) haha except for me like using my phone or watching tv but even that he doesnāt immediately think someone else has to do something unless it actually did
We even had a list and my family barely looked at it. They like going to the store seeing and item and being like ooo thatās good. I try to remind them of the list but they just donāt care. I try to remind them but theyāre just too stubborn to talk to so I will just deal with these things on my own and most likely return as much as I can or we just wonāt use it.
Thanks everyone! My partner spoke to his parents and just said that in future we don't want electronic/ tech based toys as we aren't introducing them just yet and preferably not plastic. They were super understanding and turns out they misinterpreted when we said we only were using 'educational ' toys, so the thing they brought us was definitely educational based, but designed to teach through touch and response and light up things which doesn't reflect my understanding of how children learn, but their heart was in the right place and they offered us the receipt to exchange it š no harm no foul! I'm really glad we brought it up and didn't just let it slide.
I personally believe in moderation and believe this will not hinder your child in the slightest, especially if you only allow it at certain times. We canāt expect ourselves to be perfect. It only causes stress. Maybe just let her play with it on occasion until she is too old and then donate it. Kind of best of both worlds.