😢 feeling guilty 😔

So I had a meeting with the autism inclusion team for my son for help in school, but as I've been home and tidying up, 1 question she asked me was about friends. Now at school, I know he likes certain children but doesn't exactly play with them (they will observe at school), but then she said does he have friends that come round and play. I said no we don't know many people here. We've lived in the area for 8 years. It made me realise that because I'm introverted and struggle with making friends in the area, I feel like it's my fault 😪

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I can count on one hand many friends I've made outside of school(I only speak to 2) and work... I'd have 4 fingers left lol The only reason for that 1 is because she approached me first. Don't feel bad. I struggle too x

It’s not your fault and it doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. When my son was in reception he used to get mothered quite a bit by the girls but didn’t really feel like true friendships. When he was 8 he had a best friend which was amazing. When we moved he struggled again and has actually been out of the classroom for a while as he felt no one liked him (sen school) and then suddenly he makes a friend and starts messaging her all the time and has made one online as well. I’m very introverted. High school I spent my lunchtimes in the library. However I do also have a 6 year old with a severe speech disorder and according to her she has 100 friends (she has a couple of close friends). I have pushed my son to do sen clubs. I’ve also pushed to arrange play dates for my daughter even though it’s uncomfortable to get myself out there. Think the clinical psychologist asked that question to me recently. My sons 13. It does make you question things x

Thank you to both of you. I think it just hit me because yes he has been invited to 2 parties but in the back of my head I wonder if they inviting the whole class. As what I've seen is he'll go to class mates but doesn't play with them. Ie he does his own thing running around and wants to say hi to adults. I can't stand and talk to the adult as I have to make sure my son doesn't run out of doors etc. He also is behind in speech so can't say I played with or I did this, but will answer questions a few hours later. But very minimal. I'm not sure of any sen clubs in our area, as I think that would help.

@Hayley check out your councils local offer as it should be on there. Plus you may be eligible for short break funding x

@Hayley if it makes you feel any better my son has his first party invite today and I'm dreading it.. the whole class was invited i think. I won't be able to even attempt to talk to any one because I have to watch him like a hawk incase he runs out the door or has a massive melt down over something

@Karen yeah I can only find things in the day for under 5s in the area. Which is when hes at school. Nothing I know of in the evening but that would be awkward due to bedtime. @Louise yeah the first party he went to I was so nervous as I wasn't sure how long we'd be there if he was going to get overwhelmed, but he did really well yes the running out of doors is always a concern. The first 1 my oh pushed me to go I was glad I did. Even though I was just following my son the entire time and trying to stop him pushing infront of kids to go on bouncy slide. We managed tull 5 mins before the party ended. So that was good 👍

Thought I'd update you @Hayley, my son lasted 30 minutes before he lost his shit! He couldn't understand why the music had got so loud, he turned around and a hulk mascot was standing over him! We spent the next 40 minutes standing outside in the rain waiting for him and the other mascots to go.. needles to say I was glad when we left 😵

@Louise bless him. Its not easy is it. 30 mins is good. My little one would have not been happy with a mascot. They had 1 at school the other week for world book day he told the man to go home. Loud music can be a trigger can't it. I think it's an achievement going into the party.