Question from an adult child?
How do I tell my mother that she has to find a place to live and don’t want to live with her when I already told her? She has always been emotionally abusive to me and my brother and she does those same tactics with my children. I understand she has been through things but she refuses to get help. She has refused to get her own place and pretends that she can’t do better so she can live under me and my brother. He has his own place. She literally rejects every opportunity, even the free ones to have her own or a better job. She has been homeless for over 7 years. She finds excuses to decline clients for home health care job. She talks about me and still tries to stay with me. She fights with my brother then runs back to my house. She refuses to get help. Me and my brother don’t discuss here often but when he recently vented to me, it’s funny how he has the same feelings about her. I never told him how I felt. I cut her off for a long time because it was draining and taking away from me mentally. Now that me and my ex broke up, she started trying to squat. She hated him and uses the excuse that I need her. I do but from a distance. She doesn’t get it.
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Wow, that is like a recent flashback. My older mother did some of the same things for three years. My father died, and my mother was over independent. That was a hard time in life. I placed my mother into an assisted living facility three years later. That almost broke my physical health. It was also a strain on my mother. I found a peaceful way to talk to my mother. She is doing much better now, and not as independent.
I feel for you. This is not going to be an easy thing. I would just sit her down and tell her straight out that you love her, but she has to move out. You appreciate the help she has given you, but need time alone to be an adult and do things on your own.