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last month

Anorexia while pregnant

Hey guys, I just need a little support without judgement... I've had anorexia since I was a child and being pregnant doesn't change that at all. I want so badly to eat enough for my son and I but I barely manage one meal a day. I feel like a failure. I barely have a bump at 32 weeks and people constantly comment on how small I am for how far along I am. I love my son more than anything in this world...that should be enough for me to change but I just simply can't. I don't know what to do anymore😢 my doctor is supposed to do blind weigh ins for me but accidentally told me my weight and I've been spiraling since...
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last month

I don't have any good practical advice, but want to add that you are doing amazing. Babies don't need perfect or "normal" moms, they just need moms that are working to show up for them, which you clearly are. You are asking for and getting support. Pregnancy is so hard under the best of circumstances. You are incredible!

last month

I've gone though 6 years of Ed's and its incredibly difficult, be proud of yourself for trying to eat more and trying to get better for your son. I don't know if this will help you much but, all food and nutrients will go to your baby before they go to you, so when your eat maybe try to think of it as your son is eating not you, which might help you get more calories down? I know that may not be the helpful advice but hopefully it can help you at least a little bit. Keep trying to heal your relationship with food, even when it seems impossible don't give up, there were so many times that i never thought i could get better and it sounds like your going through one of those times right now, but you have the strength in yourself to keep fighting to get to a healthy relationship with food. And please remember that your struggles with anorexia don't and never will make you a bad mom especially when you are fighting to get better

last month

I haven’t gotten weighed this whole pregnancy, I can’t imagine how difficult the body changes are with an ED. If the baby is a little behind, maybe just think of what you can stomach with protein/calories? Protein bars, nuts, avocados, protein drinks, whatever to nourish yourself throughout the day. If they have to monitor your weight for health concerns let them know not to tell you before you get on the scale, if it’s optional tell them you don’t want to be weighed at all. This is hard but try to eat for your babe the best you can. Eating disorders are the hardest and it’s impossible to control triggers. You’re doing the best you can for your baby.

last month

I’m praying for you and your baby! I hope you have a healthy birth as well!! ❤️❤️

last month

@Elizabeth thank you🥹💕 so sweet and kind of you to take the time to support me when I really need it. I want to be a good mom, I want my son to have everything I didn't have and more.

last month

@Rose I never even would have thought of that. That's brilliant! Thank you for that suggestion :) my baby is a little behind in his growth so I'm trying really hard to eat more.

last month

I’m so sorrry you have had to go through this. My cousin had anorexia as well during pregnancy and she use to tell me the only way she made it thru the pregnancy is if she visualized eating and “handing” the baby the food directly to him. It was the only way she could keep the food down and manage to eat enough for her baby. While she is still in recovery she said it was able to help the baby gain enough weight for her to have a healthy birth. Not sure if this helps I’m so sorry ):

last month

You’re welcome, and I’m so glad to hear you were able to communicate how that experience affected you to your doctor. That can be very intimidating, but you did it! I’m also happy to hear you have someone you’re working with already to support your mental health. That’s fantastic, and the fact that you have made a continuous effort to work on this shows what a great mom you are in spite of your own struggles. Health isn’t always attainable, but that doesn’t make you a bad parent. All you can do is the best you can in the circumstances you have, and doing your best includes having hard days too. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better and I hope those feelings will continue. ❤️

last month

@Elizabeth thank you for validating my feelings. I really needed to hear that first part. I've struggled with mental illness my whole life and just wish I could be "normal" for my son. I do see a therapist weekly and her and I are trying really hard to tackle this demon and get me somewhat better before my son is here. I've had 25 sessions with her trying to better my mental health so my son has a "healthy" mom. I want so badly to be someone he can look up to. I sent a message to my doctor and said it wasn't fair for him to tell me my weight when they know this is an ongoing struggle for me. Don't know if he'll reply but I feel a little better.

last month

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. People love to guilt trip others and make it seem like getting pregnant and/or having children just makes all of your problems/mental health concerns/ailments magically disappear. It does not, and that’s okay. Please know that having personal struggles like this do not mean you do not love your child or that you are undeserving of love and support. Anorexia is incredibly difficult to deal with in and of itself and pregnancy makes it even harder. My best advice is to be honest with your practitioner and your support system if you have it (friends, family, etc.) about how you’re struggling. Remind your doctor of the importance of the blind weigh ins and how being revealed your weight at the last appointment was a triggering experience for you that you would like to not have replicated. Additionally if you haven’t already, I would also recommend that you discuss mental health resources as well. Sending you lots of love and well wishes mama!

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