New step mom. Need advice

I’m recently married to a man with a BM and young child. I’ve actually never met his child because they live in another country. The BM has full custody but he has visitation rights. On his visit he wants to take me and introduce his daughter to me and our son / her half brother. The BM doesn’t want me to be there… but I am his wife.. I feel like I should be able to be there and meet his daughter?? What do you think ?

Show your support

I think you should, she should also want to meet you as well since you are apart of her child’s father’s life. Is there a reason she doesn’t want you to meet the child?

Agreed, you and child should be there

You should be there. Especially because y'all are family and his daughter has a sibling

First and second visit it should be dad and child. First visit dad talks to child about you and baby brother, second visit dad gets you Al to have a video call and talk about things child likes and baby brother likes. Third visit you and baby come along so that it is an easy transition. If you come up un announced it will be over whelming for the child and bm may stop visit..

I assume the father speaks to his child and the child knows about you and their half sibling. If that is the case then you should all go. If the child as no idea that their father got married and they have a half sibling then it would be strange for you all to just show up.

@Christina his child is 1 year old and my baby is 2 months… so the children are very small

@Zoe Naomi her child is 1 and mine is 2 months. They live in Europe, we live in the west coast of the US. So there’s not too many opportunities to have multiple visits… perhaps I meet the baby via ft before meeting in person. Dad has been talking to child via ft but I’ve never been part of it

Then it would be to your partners ex and him to speak about the subject and when suitable for the children to meet in person as at the moment they are extremely young and not at an age to understand.

I know it’s another country, but to have not met them at least through video chat is odd. Did the child’s mother give a reason as to why? Is your husband able to find out?