Husband a weekend alcoholic

My husband is someone who waits for Friday to drink 20+ beers in one sitting. It used to be he would buy a 12 pack now he buys a case of beer. He’s an angry drunk starts talking about everything negative texting and calling people. I don’t have anyone to turn to try to help anymore. His brother and dad have tried and since given up— in 2022 he went to an outpatient rehab and was sober for over 100 days. He thinks bc he doesn’t drink everyday that he doesn’t have a problem. It’s 2:47am my time and he has been loudly yelling as our 10 month old is sleeping. He is now currently loudly playing music I’m guessing to get me to interact with him…during the week he cooks every night for us, works an important job, and is active with our son. Do I leave every weekend with our son? I’ve called the police on him and nothings come of it except hospitalizations bc he has hip problems ( he’s ex military but they think the avascular necrosis came from alcohol abuse) so he’s fallen, sometimes they worry about his alcohol level, once they took him to a psych ward but then told him he should reach out to the VA. I can’t imagine being successful at getting him to leave on the weekends. I had us join a church group and it turns out two of the men in their are recovering alcoholics 20+ years sober so I’m hoping that all will work out and this will just be a sad part in God’s overall plan but in the meanwhile what do I do? I don’t have family nearby I have some friends that know what is happening in the area but his dad’s done with him and his mom recently passed away so no one on his side to help me.

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Wow I thought u wrote this myself. My husband is also a weekend alcoholic. I call it a functional alcoholic as he is great on other days and cooks and cleans etc. He is also ex military. I have no advice since I'm in the thick of it myself with a 1 month old. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and you can message me any time you need to talk xx

@Regina im determined to have this become a positive story but right now at 3am as I’m laying here reminding myself that this is a mental health issue it’s incredibly hard to stay calm. I’m sorry that you are also dealing with this…

You're right, it is a mental health issue. I know at least for my husband it is. Is yours willing to have some therapy?

What happens when he loses it with the child. My uncle was a functioning alcoholic for 42 years, it recked his marriage his life etc, it took him falling down the stairs drunk and almost breaking his neck to get him off it! He relapsed a few times but you would after 42 years of it, the relapses got shorter and he drank less, now he has a relationship with his kids and grandchildren and his nieces, sisters etc. Your husband has issues he's not facing, now it's just on the weekend then it will start on a Thursday then Wednesday etc because the urge will get to much. Confront him about it when he's sober. He needs help.

It's an addiction not a mental health issue. Until he admits he has a problem your be in this situation every week.

You need to take your baby and leave for the weekend. Your child needs to not be around that. Your spouse should get the clue that his behavior is toxic. He’s been approached by others and yourself. He hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. He is settling your child up for a cycle of bad behavior by resorting to that.

As someone who has lived this in the child's perspective and someone who is a mother and a woman who has delt with not alcohol but a husband who used drugs my suggestion would be wait until Monday or Tuesday when he is calm and sober and ur happy husband and tell him " look this is your option you cut back to only drinking 12 beers (bc stopping cold turkey isnt recommended) you start getting help and doing better for urself, me and our child OR I am going to leave and be done. Me and (your child) can't continue to live like this. Yes it's only during the weekend but during that time you put us through hell. You have got to get help or I am leaving." And stand ur ground with it if he doesn't take u seriously and continues then start by leaving and spending the weekend with family and friends to help support your mental health. Then if it still continues then you need to stand your ground and leave him. It will hurt but it's what you need to do for yourself and your child 💔 u can txt me anytime

Here is my positive experience: My husband was like this before we had a baby. When he saw that I had had enough of it, I stopped fighting with him to quit, I stopped talking to him altogether, we lived as roommates, he saw that I was out the door, he saw that I was serious about leaving, that’s when he changed. That’s when he quit drinking for good. Even after that, I didn’t go back to normal with him. He had to date me again. Try all over. Back to square 1, even though we were married. Yes, it’s a mental health issue. Yes, it’s addiction. But what about your mental health? You just had a baby! You need support!! Every single day of the week. Not just Mon - Thurs. What about your baby’s development? Living in a stressful environment can hinder your baby’s brain developmental. Do you need to temporarily leave on weekend in order for him to quit for good??

I went through alcoholism with my ex husband. It was terrible and never got better until I left him. He then attended a rehab and was sober for two yrs. Maybe you might have to leave him as well. How are you going to have your child grow up in that toxic behaviour?

Try an everyday alcoholic and he uses his coworkers pitty on him for being poor to buy him the drinks . He never comes home sober after work. Work ends at 5 he comes home no sooner then 8 . And you can smell him from the minute the front door cracks open. I just posted mine . It's more common then you think. I don't want this for my kids . I'm wanting to leave but the bond they have is rough to tear them up. He's just fine on days he knows he's too broke to drink. Im just not one to have another kid go through disappointment. My toddler waits all day for his dad just for him to sit outside all night and pay no attention to him its extremely upsetting on my end ..you think after years of commitment standing by these alcoholics they would at least come to sacrifice something for their families they created . But nooo. Too much to ask for a healthy relationship.