Short maternity leave - people are making me feel awful

Just wanted to say, ignore all those people and their comments, they have no right to judge and make you feel upset like that. You know what you can afford and yes it does suck with the level of maternity leave in this country. My mom had to go back to work before I was 6 months as she found a good job opportunity, and my parents couldn’t afford for her not to take it, every situation is different and you can only do your best.

I would love a long time off too but if I do we probably won’t have a roof over our head :( I’m only taking 6 months as the statutory pay isn’t going to be anywhere near enough to help pay for our mortgage and bills! My husband works for the nhs so only gets 2 weeks off which is also rubbish! Don’t listen to others in this day and age everyone is always going to have something to say and we live in a very negative world do what’s right for you and your family and the little bundle of joy headed your way ❤️

I am only taking 6 months off because if I take additional maternity leave my job is at risk (it’s a loop hole that if you take additional, your workplace can give you an equivalent role but not the same one) I only started my new job in January. I have had some shocked looks and opinions as to why I am not taking longer. As I see it, the people who matter won’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter. It is so easy for people to judge when they haven’t got to be the ones who live our lives.

I would love to go on maternity for a year, but my company only covers 6 weeks 🥲 We can afford an additional 8 weeks, so I'll only be taking 14 weeks with the possibility to extend it if we feel like we can afford longer xx I'm absolutely devastated

You have to do what’s right for you and your family. Ignore the judgement and comments. I wish people knew when to keep their mouth shut. You will make it work x

Honestly people think they can say what they want to pregnant people. It's so rude! If it makes you feel better, I am self employed and won't technically be having a maternity leave now. What I've had to do is get a freelancer to cover my client work during the first three months but I will still have to communicate with her and approve her work. I will also still have two clients who get a day a month support that I will spread out across the month to work on. Then after three months of doing that, I'll be going back to do half of the client work I used to. I luckily work from home and can do the work at any point in the week/month so its uber flexible. But I deffo can't afford any other way. I think unless you get full pay from your company, it's bloody hard to survive for 9 months on bog standard maternity allowance/statutory pay.

Thanks everyone, I work from home most of the time so that should really help and can do flexible hours. I’m self employed 1 day a week and considering making a big change and being employed in the mornings and being more flexible with my self employed job in the evenings and weekends. We’ve put down to do 13 weeks maternity, 26 shared (my partner) and I’m also hoping to use 3 weeks of leave before and after statuary to round up to 16 weeks / 4 months

Absolutely no right or wrong way! People can be so judgemental and regardless of their opinions they should keep them to themselves! Il be honest a few months into mine I was craving a bit of normality, adult convo and a purpose other than being a mum! Yes you will find it hard & would love more time off but don’t let people put you down! 🤍 xx

You have to do what's right for you and your family. I'm in New Jersey in the US and our leave is 18-20 weeks, depending on your delivery. You recieve 80% of your previous pay. Only 5 states offer paid leave. Most moms are back to work by 12 weeks here. 6 months is a wonderful amouht time to spend home with your little one. Of course you would want more but that's not financially feasible for all families and that's makes you a wonderful mother to provide for you family in both ways.

I get 6 weeks with work and then on to the maternityeave by gov but I'm using up most my holiday for this year and next year so I can get some pay and live so I'll be having around 30 weeks off wish I could afford the whole lot off but not likely and knowing the way it is now I'll most probs end up going back to work earlier

This made me sad reading this!! It’s nobody else’s business what you and your partner decide to do! Everyone’s circumstances are different and you’re choosing to support your family by returning to work rather than getting into debt! Do not let others make you feel bad 💕

That’s horrible 🥺 everyone should appreciate you’re doing what’s best for you and your family under your circumstances 💜

I’m self employed so I’m only taking 6 weeks off

I am exactly the same, I can’t afford to take long maternity leave. Of course I would love to be off longer but you have to think If being off work puts you into debt it could have an effect on your home life and the stress around a new baby wouldn’t be great. Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s right for your family, it feels so unfair but you’re not doing anything wrong and you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for it! 🥰

I’m taking 6 months 3 full pay 3 half and my partner is in the navy too he is going to take 6 I think. This might change. I feel awful having to go back so early too but might even try part time so I can still see and spend time with her. They don’t make it easy for us at all stat pay is ridiculous! X

@Claire like others said: those comments are to be ignored! (Easier said than done, I know…) I have found that a lot of people love to mom shame whatever the choices you make. If you take x amount of weeks you should take more, if you go back to work you should actually be a SAHM, if you’re a SAHM why are you not making all organic meals for your kids… that is people being toxic!! In this country fathers have a statutory leave of 2 weeks. As far as I know, your child is getting a great deal by having so much contact with dad! How lucky are you guys that your little one will see dad so much! Focus on that and stay strong!

I am exactly the same! I'm not taking a long leave and giving a lot to my husband as we can't afford to do without my salary and people make me feel so guilty and like I'll never stick to that and won't be able to go back to work. I spiral back and forth about feeling happy and confident about it and feeling sick with worry and guilt. I cried on the phone to my manager about it, and I am not a work crier!!!

I’m self employed and so is my husband, so we’re going to have to keep working in some capacity throughout. It’s definitely more common!

No two situations are the same. For some of us a full year is what is right for us, our lives, family, finances, for some of us only a few months is suitable and for some it’s somewhere in the middle. Whatever is right for YOU is all that matters, nothing else. Sadly, judgement will always come, regardless of how long you take. I have told my work I intend to take the full year and I got judged by my manager for that. It’s the same story when you look at the “when”, I’ve had a fair amount of judgement for my decision to work up until the Friday before my Sunday due date, other mums will find that take a month or two before their due date is right for them and there will be those who choose to judge that too. Always keep in mind, all that matters is what’s right for you and your family ❤️

Funny that your boss is not being supportive, they should change their maternity leave policies then! You’ll always get judgey comments no matter your choice! Do what’s right for you and your family as that is what makes the real difference!

Offering a different PoV here (from a child’s perspective)…At least you have the best intentions ❤️ my mum could have taken much more time off when she had me but took only a week off and then handed me over to my grandparents while she went back to work - also I was born with jaundice so could have benefited from breastfeeding but she didn’t really give that a try. I still loved her dearly but just saying…. At least you WANT to take more time off but just don’t have the option.

@Hattie we’re totally in the same boat in that case then 💛 such a tricky place to be mentally. Also, it’s hard not to be jealous that our partners are getting more than us? As awful as that then feels too!!

I’m only having 6 weeks maximum maternity leave and then I’m back to work as I’m wedding photographer and can’t afford to have more time off for financial reasons similar to you. I’ve spoken to other photographers in the industry and they’ve done similar and my partner is supportive with my decision as he’ll have the day off when I have a wedding otherwise I’ll be home with baby to be there with them and do editing 😊 Everyone’s circumstances and reasons are different, you do what is right for you

Heya, I guess you have to do what’s best for you and your family and no one should make you feel bad about that. My partner is in the navy too but he’s not got a 6month paid entitlement? Is your partner taking his full 6 months? Xx

@Claire definitely! His work have also been so supportive unlike mine. And I know it's gonna be so good for him to bond with baby and learn to look after her properly without my help but then I worry that might be at the expense of my bond!

@Rebecca it might be worth checking about shared parental leave with his DO / career officer - I believe it’s pretty standard across the navy xx yes he’s taking the full 6 months which will be so nice to have him here the whole time and not posted away!

@Hattie yes totally, we had a call with a writer and she was so knowledgable and made the whole process seem easy to sort out. It’ll be so great for them to form a strong bond, and my partner is so good with kids anyway, he’s so excited to do it - he’s the one that suggested we start trying for a kid etc. so I couldn’t feel luckier from that perspective, just got to keep the green eyed monster at bay when I have to go back to work I guess! But I do like being busy & being needed at work, so I’m hoping it’s something I’ll enjoy going back to xx